Sandra Newman - Read This Next: And Discover Your 500 New Favourite Books

It is impossible to escape the whispers: The book is dead. We all grew up hearing rumors that the novel was dead. Our parents wept a tear for the theater (dead), and many of us remember the international expressions of grief when poststructuralism killed the author. Now a generation unites to mourn this latest bereavement.

While some believe that new delivery systems such as the Kindle and the iPad will save the book, others see such devices as a further threat. They doomily predict that e-books will be pirated, publishing will go the way of the music industry, and we will soon see the demise of the publisher. This can only lead to the death of words and finally letters. In the end, the human race will be reduced to communicating in grunts, or tweets.

One dauntless force for good has long been combating this decline, winning ground one day, only to lose it the next with the posting of a YouTube video of a kitten in a hat. That force is known simply as reading. Though it seems remarkable, you are all doing it right now! And, like clapping for Tinker Bell, as long as you keep doing it, the book will never entirely perish.

If you are reading this as a traditional eBook, tap anywhere to turn the page.

If you are reading this on an embedded eChip, blink now to turn the page.

If you have purchased a copy of the limited edition Heritage RealBook, turn the page by turning the page.

We are here to assist you in this crucial reading work. And while it is all very well to expect people to selflessly read, purely in order to keep the book on life support, that is unrealistic. No, we need you to selfishly read, for pleasure, while also patting yourself on the back for the good you are doing. But to do that, you will need a special kind of book.

This book.

In the pages of this book, you will learn about many other books, every one of which is cunningly designed to be read and give pleasure at the same time. As you read them, your mind will be nourished and your spirit refreshed. Your body will be flooded with endorphins and serotonin, causing your hair to become glossy and your skin clear and firm. Friends will be impressed with the depth of your intellect. Dates will fall in love with the glossiness of your hair. (We cannot rule out the possibility that dates will fall in love with the depth of your intellect, but dont hold your breath.)

You may wish to discuss your reading experiences with friends in a book group. To facilitate such discussions, we have arranged the books in lists of twelveone for each month of the year, it has been pointed out to us. We have also provided you with questions to get the discussion ball rolling. Remember: with the book dead, it is only a matter of time before the bell tolls for discussion. Act now to prevent further tragedy.

Finally, we would like to congratulate you on the happy path you have chosen. The books we introduce in pages to come offer an amazing, enriching variety of experiences. Some are deliciously hilarious, some hauntingly sad, some just unputdownably unputdownable. But all of them have one thing in common. Fun. Fun that wont damage your liver, make you fat, or rot your brain. So sit back, adjust the lighting, and get ready for the fullest, glossiest hair of your life.

So You Want to Start a Book Group

Congratulations! You are about to begin a journeya journey into a world of imagination and adventure. Here you will find delicious snacks and witty conversation. There will be laughter; there will be tears. There will be a coffee stain on the carpet to gaze at with affection in years to come. Maybe, in time, a baby will be born. Take precautions if this is not the desired result.

A book group can immeasurably enrich your life, althoughwe will be honest with youthere are no guarantees. Say, 50 percent it will, 45 percent it wont, 5 percent Ralph Nader. Note that this 50 percent is still better odds than you get with higher education, marriage, or being born. But you are not just a helpless pawn. Here are some steps you can take to maximize the chances that your book group will be the warm beating heart of your weary month, providing you with intellectual stimulation, emotional support, and chocolate cupcakes.

SETTING UP

If you want to build your book group upon a secure foundation, base your preparations on the Chinese art of fng shui. In the fourth-century classic of Confucian thought,