Elissa Washuta - My Body Is a Book of Rules

BODIES ARE US. AND NOT. HOW DO WE FIGURE OUT WHICH IS WHICH? ELISSA WASHUTA TAKES YOU ON A FEARLESS RIDE OF SEX, DRUGS, MOOD DISORDERS, SELF-IMPROVEMENT, DIETING, INTERNET DATING, ETHNIC IDENTITY, AND WHY SHE ISNT CATHOLIC ANYMORE. MY BODY IS A BOOK OF RULES IS A FUNNY, SCARY, UNPREDICTABLE BOOK; IT READS LIKE THE INSIDE OF YOUR OWN HEAD.

SALLIE TISDALE
AUTHOR OF TALK DIRTY TO ME

A GENRE-BENDING ODE TO THE BI-POLAR BRAIN, WASHUTAS VENOMOUS, LYRICAL CHAPTERS LINK TO FORM A MEMOIR THATS DARING, VULNERABLE, CAUSTIC, AND RAW. READING THIS BOOK, YOU FIND YOURSELF IN A STARING CONTEST WITH A WRITER WHO WONT LOOK AWAYNOT FROM HER DEVASTATING BETRAYALS OF BODY AND BRAIN, NOR THE CHRONIC SEARCH FOR A CHEMICAL CURE. SHE EXPLORES THE NUANCES OF BLOOD OUANTUM, COSMO, CATECHISM, PSYCHOTHERAPY, PROMISCUITY, FENCING, ANDLAW & ORDER: SVU IN A VOICE THAT EMBRACES ITS SELF-DEPRECATING, SELF-DESTRUCTIVE, HUMOROUS, BEDAZZLED CONTRADICTIONS.

NICOLE HARDY
AUTHOR OF CONFESSIONS OF A LATTER-DAY VIRGIN

ELISSA WASHUTA

Red Hen Press | Pasadena, CA

My Body Is a Book of Rules

Copyright 2014 by Elissa Washuta

All Rights Reserved

No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without the prior written permission of both the publisher and the copyright owner.

Cover design by Nicholas Smith

Layout design by Michelle Olaya-Marquez and Nicholas Smith

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Washuta, Elissa.

My body is a book of rules / Elissa Washuta. First edition.

pages cm

ISBN 978-1-59709-969-1 (tradepaper : alk. paper)

1. Washuta, Elissa. 2. Manic-depressive illnessPatientsUnited StatesBiography. 3. Indian womenNorth America--Biography. 4. Indians of North AmericaBiography. 5. Indians of North AmericaEthnic identity. 6. College teachersUnited StatesBiography. I. Title.

CT275.W316A3 2014

970.00497dc23

2014007669

The National Endowment for the Arts, the Los Angeles County Arts Commission, the Los Angeles Department of Cultural Affairs, the Pasadena Arts & Culture Commission and the City of Pasadena Cultural Affairs Division, and Sony Pictures Entertainment partially support Red Hen Press.

First Edition

Published by Red Hen Press

www.redhen.org

An earlier version of Preliminary Bibliography appeared in Filter Literary Journal.

An earlier version of Prescribing Information appeared in Third Coast.

Thank you to Artist Trust for their generous support of this book in the form of a GAP Award.

I am grateful to the many people who have lent me their time and expertise, along with the many others who have contributed to this books development over the past several years.

To the wonderful people of Red Hen Pressthank you for all you have done for this book. Particular thanks go to Kate Gale and Nicelle Davis.

I am tremendously grateful to David Shields for the unceasing encouragement. To Maya Sonenberg, I am forever grateful for her challenges to me to create the best possible book.

The Cowlitz Indian Tribe has been an invaluable source of supportthank you for your commitment to my graduate education, and to my ongoing education as a human being.

To my colleagues in the Department of American Indian Studies at the University of Washingtonthank you for your unwavering support of my writing.

Richard Hugo House has supported my development as a writer in more ways than I can name. Thank you to every person who has worked to build that beautiful place, and thank you to everyone who has come into my life because of ityou are so many, and I am so lucky.

My immense appreciation goes to Paullette Gaudet, Sarah Erickson, Chris Boginski, and Simone Sachs Hollander for being my first readers and for helping me build this book. Special thanks to Ann LoGerfo, Roz Ray, and Laura Scott for your insight in helping me wrench the near-final draft into place. Jon Sternfeld, thank you for your faith in this book and your eye for structural magic. Peter Mountford, I am greatly indebted to you for the wisdom you have imparted. Matt Hargis, thank you for providing records that were so important in writing this book, and for being there to keep them.

Brian McGuigan, huge thanks for opening up so many opportunities for me, for having my back, and of course, for being my friend.

Steve Barker, for your appraisal of every draft, for your unflinching encouragement at every turn, and for sticking around even after you heard me read the first chapterthank you.

To my amazing familyhere, there, and everywhereaunts, uncles, cousins, Grandma, Grandpa, Mom, Dad, Nateyour love means everything to me. I am beyond grateful.

For Mom, Dad, and Nate

We are four chambers

BODY MY HOUSE

MY HORSE MY HOUND

WHAT WILL I DO

WHEN YOU ARE FALLEN

MAY SWENSON, QUESTION

THERE ARE WORSE THINGS THAN HAVING BEHAVED FOOLISHLY IN PUBLIC.

THERE ARE WORSE THINGS THAN THESE MINIATURE BETRAYALS,

COMMITTED OR ENDURED OR SUSPECTED; THERE ARE WORSE THINGS

THAN NOT BEING ABLE TO SLEEP FOR THINKING ABOUT THEM.

IT IS 5 AM. ALL THE WORSE THINGS COME STALKLNG IN

AND STAND ICILY ABOUT THE BED LOOKLNG WORSE AND WORSE

AND WORSE.

FLEUR ADCOCK, THINGS

PART 1

A girl who guarded her chastity was considered valuable in the eyes of our warriors. A man would willingly give many ponies and robes to her parents for such a wife.

MOURNING DOVE, MOURNING DOVE: A SALISHAN AUTOBIOGRAPHY

The Indians whom Sheridan had taken on the island were closely guarded. Old Chenoweth (chief) was brought up before Colonel Wright, tried, and sentenced to be hanged. The Cascade Indians, being under treaty, were adjudged guilty of treason in fighting. Chenoweth died game. He was hanged on the upper side of Mill creek. I acted as interpreter. He offered ten horses, two squaws and a little something to every tyee for his life, said he was afraid of the grave in the ground, and begged to be put into an Indian deadhouse. He gave a terrific warwhoop while the rope was being put around his neck. I thought he expected the Indians to come and rescue him. The rope did not work well; and, while hanging, he muttered, Wake nica quas copa mamelouse! He was then shot. The next day, Tecomeoc and Captain Jo were hanged. Captain Jo said all the Cascade Indians were in the fight. The next day, Tsy, Sim Lasselas and Four-fingered Johnny were hanged. The next day, Chenoweth Jim, Tumalth and Old Skein were hanged, and Kanewake sentenced, but reprieved on the scaffold. Nine in all were executed. Banaha is prisoner at Vancouver, and decorated with ball and chain. The rest of the Cascade Indians are on your island, and will be shot if seen off of it. Such are Colonel Wrights orders.