Praise for All and Nothing
In this deep dive into obsession, Jeff Smoot intermingles psychological research and analysis with what motivates him and other solo climbers to craft a thought-provoking, compelling book.
Sharon Wood, author of Rising and first North American woman to summit Everest
A rare inside view of solo climbing by someone who practiced it and articulates the risks, rewards, and mindset required to succeed at this very dangerous game. Gripping, insightful, highly recommended.
Nicholas OConnell, author of The Storms of Denali and founder of www.thewritersworkshop.net
With insight and compassion, Jeff Smoot has done an exceptional job of capturing the complex psychology behind one of the least understood veins of the climbing experience.
Geoff Powter, clinical psychologist and author of Strange and Dangerous Dreams and Inner Ranges
In All and Nothing, Jeff Smoot thrillingly follows a clear thread from climbing trees to extreme rock solos to the GoPro generation, delving deeply into the sociology, psychology, and spirituality of free soloing.
Paul Pritchard, author of The Mountain Path
Jeff Smoots timely book explores the mystique of free soloing, introducing a fascinating cast of characters across cultures and generations. Weaving in his personal experiences, he analyzes the allure of the pursuit and the psyches of the climbers who cannot resist this dangerous sport. Strikingly honest and intensively researched, All and Nothing is a gripping, often disturbing read.
Maria Coffey, author of Where the Mountain Casts Its Shadow
Meticulously researched and splendidly written, All and Nothing is captivating. Read this book, and youll have a deeper understanding of not just free soloing, but the call of adventure itself.
Sir Chris Bonington
All and Nothing
Inside Free Soloing
JEFF SMOOT
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Copyright 2022 by Jeff Smoot
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Copyeditor: Laura Lancaster
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Cover photograph and frontispiece: Brad Gobright free soloing Blues Riff (5.11c), Tuolumne Meadows, Yosemite National Park (Photo by Dan Krauss)
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DISCLAIMER: Rock climbing is a dangerous sport that generally should not be attempted without a rope, proper safety gear, and a competent belayer. The author has made every effort to provide an honest and accurate accounting of the people, places, and events related to free soloing and other high-risk sports as researched and experienced by him. This book should not be viewed as a guide to or promotion of those activities. Neither the author nor the publisher are responsible for how readers interpret these accounts.
Printed on FSC-certified materials
ISBN (paperback): 978-1-68051-332-5
ISBN (ebook): 978-1-68051-333-2
TO MY DAD
FOR TRUSTING WHAT I WAS DOING UP THERE
AND NOT MAKING ME COME DOWN
Hazel Findlay free soloing Diagonal (5.8), Dinas Mot, Wales (Photo by Paul Diffley, Hot Aches Productions)
CONTENTS
CONCLUSIVE
Pray heed the tale of John E. Dope,
Who always climbed without a rope;
Over cliff and crag he lithely sped,
He slipped just once
But still hes dead.
Bill Cox, The Mountaineer, 1939
Bob Horan free soloing Horangutan (5.12a), Eldorado Canyon (Photo by Jeff Smoot)
PROLOGUE
A PIVOTAL MOMENT
The fear sank in as I started toward the wall. You shouldnt do this, said an internal voice. What if you fall? Ignoring it, I left the trail and scrambled up a talus slope. The shaded block of granite cut like a knifes edge through the sharp afternoon sunlight. I looked down and focused on treading my way through the boulders.
When I reached the base of the wall, my heart was pounding so hard I could hear it. I sat down on a boulder, took several deep breaths, and tried to calm myself. The voice was screaming: Dont do it! Inhaling all the negative thoughts racing through my mind, I forcibly exhaled until they dissipated until my mind was as still as the granite itself.
Negative thoughts always flooded my mind when I free soloed a route that scared me, thoughts about what could go wronga hold breaking, a foot slipping, botching a sequence, losing control. Id fall, hit the ground, and end up in the hospital if I was lucky. Climbers fall all the time. Ive hit the ground twice, both times while using a rope and protection. The second fall, from 30 feet, required knee surgery. But such incidents are anomalies for climbers who rope up, place protection, and are belayed by a partnerclimbers who play it safe.
Free soloing is different. Falling off means hitting something, whether a ledge or the ground, and likely being seriously injured or killed. Even if I fell and lived, a rescue would be unlikely as I often did not tell anyone where I was going or what I was doing. My only companion was the flood of negative thoughts racing through my mind, eliciting doubt and fear.
On these outings, which were becoming more frequent, mild anxiety would build to near-panic the closer I came to going through with ita tingling on my skin, shiver down my spine, churning in my gut. Some days I turned around at the base of the cliff. Other days I didnt even get out of the car. Today was not one of those days.
I picked up my rock shoes and inspected them, spitting on the soles and then rubbing them on my shorts until they were perfectly clean and dry. I tied on my chalk bag and approached the wall, looking up at the fingertip-thin crack that shot straight up to the lip of an overhang. I closed my eyes and visualized myself flowing through the sequence, my hands pantomiming every move of the climb.