Catherynne M. Valente - The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making

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The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland In a Ship of Her Own Making

By

Catherynne M. Valente

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In Which a Girl Named September is Spirited Off By Means of Leopard, Learns the Rules of Fairyland, and Solves a Puzzle.

Once upon a time, a girl named September grew very tired indeed of her parents' house, where she washed the same pink and yellow teacups and matching gravy boats every day, slept on the same embroidered pillow, and played with the same small and amiable dog. Because she had been born in May, and because she had a mole on her left cheek, and because her feet were very large and ungainly, the Green Wind took pity on her, and flew to her window one evening just after her eleventh birthday. He was dressed in a green smoking jacket, and a green carriage-drivers cloak, and green jodhpurs, and green snowshoes. It is very cold above the clouds, in the shanty-towns where the Six Winds live.

You seem an ill-tempered and irascible enough child, said the Green Wind. How would you like to come away with me and ride upon the Leopard of Little Breezes, and be delivered to the great sea which borders Fairyland? I am afraid I cannot go in, as Harsh Airs are not allowed, but I should be happy to deposit you upon the Perverse and Perilous Sea.

Oh, yes! breathed September, who disapproved deeply of pink and yellow teacups, and also of small and amiable dogs.

"Well, then, come and sit by me, and do not pull too harshly on my Leopard's fur, as she bites."

September climbed out of her kitchen window, leaving a sink-ful of soapy pink-and-yellow teacups with leaves still clinging to their bottoms in portentous shapes. One of them looked a bit like her father, in his long coffee-colored trench-coat, gone away over the sea with a rifle and gleaming things on his hat. One of them looked a bit like her mother, bending over a stubborn airplane engine in her work overalls, her arm muscles bulging. One of them looked a bit like a squashed cabbage. The Green Wind held out his hand, snug in a green glove, and September took both his hand and a very deep breath. One of her shoes came loose as she hoisted herself over the sill, and this will be important later, so let us take a moment to bid farewell to her prim little mary-jane with its brass buckle as it clatters onto the parquet floor. Good-bye, shoe! September will miss you soon.

"Now," said the Green Wind, when September was firmly seated in the curling emerald saddle, her hands knotted in the Leopard's spotted pelt, "there are important rules in Fairyland, rules from which I shall one day be exempt, when my papers have been processed at last and I am possessed of the golden ring of diplomatic immunity. I am afraid that if you trample upon the rules, I cannot help you. You may be ticketed, or executed, depending on the mood of the Marquess.

"Is she very terrible?"

The Green Wind frowned into his brambly beard. "All little girls are terrible," he admitted finally, "but the Marquess, at least, has a very fine hat."

"Tell me the rules," said September firmly. Her mother had taught her chess when she was quite small, and she felt that if she could remember which way knights ought to go, she could certainly remember Fairy rules.

"Firstly, no iron of any kind is allowed. Customs is quite strict on this point. Any bullets, knives, maces, or jacks you might have on your person will be confiscated and smelted. Second, the practice of alchemy is forbidden to all except young ladies born on Tuesdays--"

"I was born on a Tuesday!"

"It is certainly possible that I knew that," winked the Green Wind. "Third, aviary locomotion is permitted only by means of Leopard or licensed Ragwort Stalk. If you find yourself not in possession of one of these, kindly confine yourself to the ground. Fourth, all traffic travels widdershins. Fifth, rubbish takeaway occurs on second Fridays. Sixth, all changelings are required to wear identifying footwear. Seventh and most important, you may in no fashion cross the borders of the Worsted Wood, or you will either perish most painfully or be forced to sit through a very tedious tea service with several spinster hamadryeds. These laws are sacrosanct, except for visiting dignitaries and spriggans. Do you understand?"

September, I promise you, tried very hard to listen, but the rushing winds kept blowing her dark hair into her face. "I...I think so..." she stammered, pulling her curls away from her mouth.

Obviously the eating or drinking of Fairy foodstuffs constitutes a binding contract to return at least once a year in accordance with seasonal myth cycles.

September started. What? What does that mean?

The Green Wind stroked his neatly pointed beard. It means: eat anything you like, precious cherry-child! He laughed like the whistling air through high branches. Sweet as cherries, bright as berries, the light of my moony sky!

The Leopard of Little Breezes yawned up and further off from the rooftops of Omaha, Nebraska, to which September did not even wave good-bye. One ought not to judge her: all children are Heartless. They have not grown a heart yet, which is why they can climb tall trees and say shocking things and leap so very high grown-up hearts flutter in terror. Hearts weigh quite a lot. That is why it takes so long to grow one. But, as in their reading and arithmetic and drawing, different children proceed at different speeds. (It is well known that reading quickens the growth of a heart like nothing else.) Some small ones are terrible and fey, Utterly Heartless. Some are dear and sweet and Hardly Heartless At All. September stood very generally in the middle on the day the Green Wind took her, Somewhat Heartless, and Somewhat Grown.

And so September did not wave good-bye to her house, or her mothers factory, puffing white smoke far below her. She did not even wave good-bye to her father when they passed over Europe. You and I might be shocked by this, but September had read a great number of books, and knew that parents are only angry until they have discovered that their little adventurer has been to Fairyland, and not the corner pub, and then everything is alright. Instead, she looked straight into the clouds until the wind made her eyes water. She leaned into the Leopard of Little Breezes, whose pelt was rough and bright, and listened to the beating of her huge and thundering heart.

If you dont mind my asking, Sir Wind, said September after a respectable time had passed, how does one get to Fairyland? After awhile, we shall certainly pass India and Japan and California and simply come round to my house again.

The Green Wind chuckled. I suppose that would be true, if the earth were round.

Im reasonably sure it is

Youre going to have to stop that sort of backwards, old-fashioned thinking, you know. Conservatism is not an attractive trait. Fairyland is a very Scientifick place. We subscribe to all the best journals.

The Leopard of Little Breezes gave a light roar. Several small clouds skipped huffily out of their path.

The earth, my dear, is roughly trapezoidal , vaguely rhomboid , a bit of a tesseract , and altogether grumpy when its fur is stroked the wrong way! In short, it is a puzzle , my autumnal acquisition, like the interlocking silver rings your Aunt Margaret bought back from Turkey when you were nine.

How did you know about my Aunt Margaret? exclaimed September, holding her hair back with one hand.

I happened to be performing my usual noon-time dust-up just then. She wore a black skirt, you wore your yellow dress with the monkeys on it. Harsh Airs have excellent memories for things they have Ruffled.

September smoothed the lap of her now-wrinkled and rumpled orange dress. She liked anything orange: leaves, some moons, marigolds, chrysanthemums, cheese, pumpkin, both in pie and out, orange juice, marmalade. Orange was bright and demanding. You couldnt ignore orange things. She once saw an orange parrot in the pet store and had never wanted anything so much in her life. She would have named it Halloween and fed it butterscotch. Her mother said butterscotch would make a bird sick and besides the dog would certainly eat it up. September never spoke to the dog again, on principle.