Nick Shelton - An Introverts Guide to World Domination: Become a High Level Networker and Upgrade Your Life

It begins.

Im the youngest of two sons born to a corporate attorney and a housewife - turned - businesswoman , raised in the sleepy suburbs of anywhere America. When I was seven, my family moved from Houston, Texas, to Littleton, Colorado.

New environment, new people, and a new school.

What do I do? How do I fit in? How do I make new friends?

I remember very clearly my technique. Pick out one kid and talk with them and only them. My friend that first day was a kid named Brenden who was also new. So, I only spoke to him and nobody else. This included teachersI wasnt big on speaking with adults because I took that whole dont talk to strangers thing very seriously.

The teachers thought I might be hearing - impaired . I cant explain the reasoning behind that conclusion, but I ended up in the deaf kids class.

It was actually pretty cool. There were four of us in there, Patty, Ingrid, Isaac, and myself. It was an intimate setting and I didnt have to talk so I enjoyed it. I made quick friends, played interesting games, and learned sign language.

The good times were not destined to last. Within a few days, my mother found out and made it clear that I was quite capable of hearing and should be put back in general population with the rest of the kids. That was a sad day for me. Welcome to the jungle, baby!

I had my rag - tag group of friends. We all were a bit socially awkward and anxious, living on the edge of the social groups. It was like the land of misfit toys. We understood each other, or at least we understood enough. But I still felt like I was on the outside looking in.

Not feeling seen can take you to some dark places sometimes. If someone had told me that I was from another planet, and that was the reason why I was so different and had trouble relating to others, I would have believed it. Where are the others? The others like me? Am I alone?

There was a very beautiful girl in my English class, a couple rows over. I wanted to ask her out and perhaps get a little bit ofvalidation.

This was back before you could text people. Im a bit jealous of folks these days who get to ask people out by text. Impersonal, but easy. I had to call the house of the girls parents and ask to speak with her, and then actually have a conversation.

With shaky, sweaty hands, I punched in the numbers on the keypad and held my breath as the phone began to ring.

Her: Hello.

Me: May I please speak to[girl]

Her: This is she.

Me: Hey! Its Nick Shelton from English class, hows it going?

Her: Who?

Me: Nick Shelton from your English class.

Her: I dont know a Nick Shelton from English class.

Uh oh, this isnt going well, but Im already in the mix so lets keep pressing forward.

Me: Im the black guy two rows over.

Her: Theres no black guy in my English class.

Now it occurs to me that I must have been really good at blending in if she didnt even know that there is exactly one black guy in her English class. Me.

Me: I dont even know what to say now.

Her: Is this a joke?

Me: I wish it was.

Her: Howd you get my number?

Its always a bad sign when a girl asks you how you got her number.

Me: A friend gave it to me. Anyway, I was wondering if you would like to go out sometime?

Her: No thank you, Nick Shelton, from English class, Im going to pass.

Me: All right, have a great night!

Her: Bye.

Sowhat did I learn? Well, I learned that I really wasnt looking forward to going back to English class. That was going to suck.

I also learned that, apparently, I was so unremarkable that I could be the only black guy in the classroom and still go unnoticed. It became clear that I had to find a solutiona way out.

People should at least know that I exist. I want to be seen. I want to matter.

But how exactly does someone do that?

I came out of the gate strong. College is a new environment where you can shed the old you and be whatever you want to be, right? I met a few people who were extroverted and figured if I spent time around them, some of that magic would rub off on me.