MJ Ware - MJ Ware Box Set - Super Zombie Juice Mega Bomb, Zack and Zoeys Alien Apocalypse, & Monster Mashup

Zack & Zoey's Alien Apocalypse

AlienBusting Ninja Adventure
by MJ Ware
DIGITAL EDITION v1.0a

2012 by MJ Ware - Artwork by Powil
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Table of Contents

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Chapter 1 To Serve Man

Sure, you might have had a meanteacher or two, but I bet you've never had a teacher as mean, nasty, andhorrible as Ms. Brass.

"Class,settle down." Ms. Brass slapped her favorite ruler against her palm."Anyone who doesn't siteyes forward, trap shutwill be locked in thecloset and miss the Martian landing." She'd been teaching so long, I thinkshe still remembered the good ol' days when she could use that ruler to smackkids on the knuckles for talking out of turn.

"Ms. Brass,the aliens aren't from Mars." Sunny Rosa looked up from sorting her pencilcollection. "They're from a planet orbiting Sirius, the Dog Star, which isactually a binary system. That means it has two suns. Except one of them"

"Shut up,Sunny." Ms. Brass slammed her ruler on Sunny's desk, sending pencils jumpingfor their lives. "It's not polite to correct your teacher."

"Zack, thealiens are from the Dog Star!" Tommy Traddles yelled as if he wasn'tsitting right in front of me. "They're Extra Terrierestrials."He was the only one who laughed.

After locking Tommy in the closet, Ms. Brass led us to the auditorium.

"I don'tlike this," whispered my best friend, Zoey Perrybingle.

"What, whynot? I mean, they've been transmitting peace messages for weeks," I said as we walked. "Plus, they just sent the cure for cancer andthe common cold."

"I still don'ttrust them. I mean, how can one cure work for both cancer andcolds?"

"I don'tknow." It did seem a little odd. Especially since the cure was to marinateovernight in a bath of onions and honey mustard sauce.

I sat next toZoey on the floor of the auditorium right as something flew overhead. Behindus, Susie Jo Sikes was shooting spit wads with the accuracy of heat-seekingmissiles.

"Eww, gross!" Zoey shrieked. "Give me your hat."

"No way.This is my Giants World Series"

She ripped itfrom my head. "Where's your sense of chivalry?"

"I thinkyou've beaten it out of me."

She glared at me,but broke into a smile when a glitter-coated paper airplane crashed in my hair.

Amid the battlecries and flying shrapnel, the lights went down, and the projector lit up.

On the screen, ahuge flying saucer descended on the White House lawn. Everyone shut up realfast. The president, vice president, secretary of state, and a bunch of otherself-important-looking people stood around nervously while the aliens floatedout of their ship on beams of amber light.

The aliens hadbig, bald heads and crazy, wide smiles. They were a pale shade of green andreally fat, with slimy hands and tentacles instead of feet.

Chapter 2 - Never Offer an Alien a Hand

"I am Admiral Nact-bauk,commander of the Third Zaphod Fleet," said a big, particularlynasty-looking alien with a huge scar dripping down his forehead.

"Did he justsay his name was Admiral Nut-Bag?" I whispered to Zoey.

"Shhh!"

"On behalf of the People of Earth" As the President spoke, dozens ofphotographers snapped pictures. "I would like to offer my hand infriendship." He thrust out his hand.

"Don't mindif I do." An extra slimy alien bent over and chomped down on thePresident's hand. "Mmmm." Before anyone could react, he leaned in,un-hinged his jaw like a giant excavator scoop, and swallowed the Presidentwhole.

"Delicious."The alien let out a massive burp.

"Lieutenant Muck-tauk, you moron. You just ate their President."Admiral Nact-bauk smacked the belching alien upside his huge head.

"He offered ahand, and it was so tasty, I couldn't help myself," Muck-tauk saidsheepishly. "I saved their Secretary of State for you." He pointed atthe trembling Secretary of State, who promptly fainted.

"She's toougly to eat. Besides, she smells like tentacle rot." Nact-bauk eyed thegovernment officials, who seemed to be in shock. "This fat one smellspretty tasty, though." He reached for the vice president, who barelymanaged to jump and hide behind the Secret Service agents.

Finally, one ofthe Secret Service guys pulled out a little machine gun. He quickly emptied thegun, firing at the nearest alien. Unfortunately, the aliens had some sort ofinvisible force field that blocked the bullets.

That's all we got to see 'cause Principal Blathers pulled the plugon the video projector.

"Don't bealarmed." He wiped sweat off his forehead. "I'm sure that wasn't whatit looked like."

"You meanaliens didn't eat the President?" some kid yelled. Susie Jo laughed, but Ididnt think the kid was trying to be funny. He sounded pretty freaked.

"Well...um... I think..." The principal was greener than the aliens. "It'sjust... Oh, frickleflop." That's when Principal Blatherswet himself.

Chapter 3 It's All Downhill After the Principal Messes His Pants

The teachers, in a state ofsemi-panic, began shooing us back to class.

"Wow, I wishI'd caught that on my phone," I said, stepping over a pile of barf left bya kid with a weak stomach.

"Zackary B.Weller, whats the matter with you?" Zoey hit me with my own cap."Aliens just ate the President, and you're upset you didn't snap a picture?"

"Yeah, Isuppose it would have been cooler if they'd eaten Hillary too, but hey, youcan't have everything."

"Sometimesyour violent tendencies worry me."

"Myviolent tendencies? I'm not the Central Valley Regional Karate Champ."

"It wasShaolin Kung Fu and I don't take it anymore." She moved away and started brushingher long blond hair. "Besides, the martial arts are about self-defense, notkilling people."

She had a point.Zoey had never actually killed anyone. There was only the one maiming. But hermother made her quit after that, saying she wasn't going to deal with anotherbroken armnot hers, some kid she faced.

As we headedback, I thought about what Zoey had said. Some kids were crying. One mutteredincoherently to himself.

"You'reright, Zoey. Eating people is wrong. Even if they're politicians." I gazeddown at the frayed ends of my shoelaces. "I guess I was trying to put apositive spin on it."

"Forget it,Zack. That's not what worries me." Zoey sat at her desk. "It's thealiens. They're obviously here for some sort of extraterrestrial potluck."

"Yeah, buthow many people can they possibly eat? I mean one person must fill up an alienfor a week."