Phyllis Ocean Berman - The Looooong Narrow Pharaoh & the Midwives Who Gave Birth to Freedom

The Looooong NarrowPharaoh & the Midwives Who Gave Birth to Freedom By Rabbis Phyllis Ocean Berman & Arthur Ocean Waskow Illustrated by Avi Katz The old shall berenewed, and the new shall be madeholy. Rabbi Avraham YitzhakKook Text Copyright 2016 Phyllis OceanBerman and Arthur Ocean Waskow Illustrations Copyright 2016 AviKatz First edition. All rightsreserved. This ebook may not be re-sold orgiven away. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmittedin any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, includingphotocopy, recording, or any information storage or retrievalsystem, except for brief passages in connection with a criticalreview, without permission in writing from thepublisher: Albion-Andalus, Inc. O. O.

Box 19852 Boulder, CO 80308 www.albionandalus.com Design and composition by Avi Katzand Samantha Krezinski Cover design by DarylMcCool Cover illustration by AviKatz Manufactured in the United States ofAmerica ISBN: 9781370225743 Long looooong ago... Long long ago, there was a looong thin river. Alongits banks there was a looong thin country. The country was ruled bya looong thin King. He was so famous for being long and thin that whenpeople spoke directly to him, they called him not Your RoyalHighness but Your Royal Longness. But his name was Pharaoh, and behind his back,they called him Narrow Pharaoh.

Pharaoh was long and narrow because he didnt liketo eat. Eating is fun, he said. And kissing is fun. Andlaughing is fun. Being a king is serious. It is not supposed to befun! Long and narrow is serious, he said.

But eatingmakes bulges. Bulges are not serious. No more bulges! said the long narrow Pharaoh. I am long and narrow, My kingdom is long and narrow, And all my people shall become long and narrow! When I am not eating, no one shall eat. When I am not kissing, no one shall kiss. One morning, Narrow Pharaoh looked out the window.There was a chubby little baby laughing in the grass. One morning, Narrow Pharaoh looked out the window.There was a chubby little baby laughing in the grass.

The Kingbegan to frown. Babies make bulges, too, he said. If you put ababy in a long thin woman, you make a bulge in her. If you put too many babies in a long thin country,you make a bulge in the country. I hate babies! said the long thin King. They cry when I am not sad, And they smile when I am not happy.

They eat when I am not hungry, And they smell allthe time! So Narrow Pharaoh went to his high high throne. Upthe steps he walked, five steps, eleven steps, seventeensteps. When he looked very very tall, and very very thin,he spoke in a very narrow voice: Send me my Minister of Exact Justice! The Minister stalked in. He was almost as long as the King, and his clotheswere even longer. He was almost as thin as the King, and nearly asnarrow. Said Narrow Pharaoh, Tell me how to get rid ofthese extra babies! The Minister of Exact Justice raised an exactlyshaped eyebrow.

He raised it exactly three eighths of an inch. Let the babies grow up to be children, theMinister said. Then youll be rid of them! No! said Pharaoh. What good will it do if theyrechildren? The children dont do what I say. They keep silent when I say Speak up! And they whisper when I call for Silence! They kiss when I say Hands off! They loaf when I say Get your work done! And they eat when I am not hungry! Let the children grow up to be grown ups, said theMinister. No! said the King.

What good will it do if theyre grown ups? The grown ups do what I say, But they laugh at the strangest times. They work when I say Work harder! But they laugh when I say, I work hardest ofall! They fight when I say, Join the army! But they laugh when I say, Death is glory! They pay taxes when I say Make my palacericher! But they laugh when I say, If my own bed is soft,everyone sleeps better. Its good to have a big audience when I givespeeches on the balcony, he said. But there are so many people they start talkingwith each other. Its good to have lots of soldiers when I need tomarch across the border, he said. with each other. with each other.

And rebel against me! There are just too many people for my long thinKingdom. Tell me, Minister get it right! What to do to winthis fight. And he glared hard at his Minister of ExactJustice. The Ministers eyes turned gray, and his lips turnedgray. He spoke very fast: Get rid of the extrapeople! Oh, said the long thin King. Now that would beexactly perfect! Why didnt you say so before? And he threw ablanket over the Ministers head before he could speak anymore.

Then the long thin King called out in his narrowvoice: Send my Minister of Exact Numbers! Tell me, Minister Thin and Tight, How to get these numbers right. How many people are extra? So the Minister opened his Number File. Out cametumbling lists of numbers. Numbers of soldiers, and numbers ofhouses. Numbers of taxes, and numbers of milk bottles. Numbers ofbedsheets and numbers of numbers.

Innumerable numbers! The Minister looked at all his numbers. He addedthem up and divided by 12, got a square root and subtracted 4. Exactly six hundred thousand extra people, hefinally said. In that case, Your Majesty, said the Minister ofExact Justice in a muffled voice from under the blanket, I knowexactly what to do. Up in the north are the Cross Over people.Just four hundred years ago, a small band of them crossed over theSea of Blood and started roaming around our country. They neversettle down.

They keep crossing over the Great Desert coming here,crossing back, crossing here, going back. When we treat them like foreigners, they get verycross. And when we treat them like home folks, they get very cross.So thats why we call them the Cross Overs. They have lots of babies. (Narrow Pharaoh turnedslightly green.) They have lots of children. (Narrow Pharaoh turned slightly purple.) So they have grown and grown and grown. (Narrow Pharaoh turned slightly purple.) So they have grown and grown and grown.

Last weekthere were exactly twelve hundred thousand of them. You could getrid of half and that would be exactly correct. If theyre so cross, lets double cross them! saidthe King and he snickered. So Narrow Pharaoh looked down from his very highthrone. Time to act, said Pharaoh sharply. Which half of the Cross Overs should I get ridof? And he glared at the Minister of Exact Numbers, whogot out a page of records and began to read very nervously: Halfof them are grown ups, and half of them are children.

Half of themare women, and half of them are men. Half of them have black hair,and half of them have red hair. Half... STOP! said Pharaoh. I know! Ill get rid of themen. The men make trouble.