Zasio - The hoarder in you : how to live a happier, healthier, uncluttered life

This book is dedicated to all of those individuals who struggle with clutter and compulsive hoarding; whose desire is to cultivate a more healthy relationship to their possessions. Know that you are not alone.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Not long ago, I was sitting at my vanity getting ready for my day. It was very early on a Monday morning, which is always my busiest day of the week. On this particular day, I was not going into the office, but heading directly to my client Kates house. This was to be the first time that Kate allowed me inside. Wed worked together off and on for months in my clinic, The Anxiety Treatment Center of Sacramento, but until now shed been very resistant to letting me see exactly the state of her environment. She was on my mind as I applied makeup and fixed my hair.

Kate herself hadnt contacted me initially; rather, it had been her husband, who told me he could no longer live in their home, which he indicated had once been a beautiful showplace. They seemed well matched: Married for the first time in their forties, neither had children and both had always wanted to travel the world. After only 2 months of marriage, Kates father passed away and left her a significant trust, which was sizable enough to support both of them for the rest of their lives. It was a wonderful opportunity for the two to realize their dreams of adventure.

The death of Kates father triggered something in her. Instead of preparing for their trip and investing her inheritance carefully, Kate began shopping with abandon, spending large amounts of money on clothing and other items. Her shopping habit quickly developed into compulsive hoarding. Within a year, her husband, who had desperately tried to understand what Kate was going through, was beside himself with frustration.

As I was getting ready to see Kate that morning, I opened the top right drawer of my vanity (which, like my home in general, is well organized) to reach for a cotton swab and realized there werent any left. I began pulling open the other drawers in search of the new box Id recently bought. One drawer held my blow-dryer; another had some first aid cream and bandages. And then, like Ive done hundreds of times in the past 8 years Ive lived in my home, I opened That Makeup Drawer.

This particular drawer is filled with a jumble of cosmetics, some of which Ive had for 2 decadesliterally since I was in my early twenties, when I graduated from college. There are crumbling eye shadows in colors I havent worn in years, and dried-up eye liners, pencils, and lipsticks that I loved when I purchased them (though after applying them for the first time, realized they werent right for me). Rather than throwing away the useless lipsticks, which felt like a waste, I thought, What if I need them? You never know and dumped them in the drawer with the rest of the cast-off cosmetics. I knew Id likely never use any of these itemsand for health reasons, should not use any of themand yet, as of this writing, That Makeup Drawer remains full. Any time I think of going through it to get rid of stuff, the urge to close the drawer and avoid it is much stronger than my will to clean it out.

The irony was not lost on me that here I was, a clinical psychologist and an expert on the treatment of compulsive hoarding, irrationally unable to get rid of items that would do no one any good. I asked myself why I couldnt toss outdated blush that was too dry to apply, but I already knew the answer: for the exact same reasons my clients say they cant get rid of the stuff that clutters their homes to the point that their houses are practically uninhabitable. I had no time to dwell on that, though. I had work to do. I quickly closed the drawer and left for Kates house.

As I drove up her driveway, I saw a perfectly manicured yard and walkway that led to a two-story brick home. I rang the bell and immediately heard a crashing sound. Is everything okay in there? I shouted. I heard Kates voice call out, Yes, I just ran into something.

Minutes later Kate came to the door, apologized for keeping me waiting, and expressed humiliation and embarrassment over the condition of her home. I really dont feel good about you seeing the place like this, she said, clearly anxious. I reassured her that I would in no way judge her and that I was there to help. I reminded her that we were a team, and that this was the next step in her therapy process.

Up until now, Kate had been bringing items to sort through at the clinic, so that I could teach her the tools she needed to begin letting go of things on her own at home. It can take a few months before a client who compulsively hoards is ready for a therapist to visit her home, to get a firsthand visual of the severity of the problem, and exactly how this condition is affecting her environment. Even though we had developed a rapport and a supportive therapeutic relationship, it is quite common for a client to feel extreme anxiety the first time I visit his or her home. Reminding clients of my nonjudgmental approach often helps them become comfortable enough to invite me in.

Stepping into the entryway, it was clear that Kate had been shopping aggressively for many months. While there was not an ounce of trash in sight (some hoarded homes contain a mixture of trash and usable objects), the house was filled with shopping bags that had not been unpacked, mail-order boxes, and clothing with the tags still attached. While she had promised her husband repeatedly that she would get things put away, he noticed that Kate just kept bringing in more stuff. This is consistent with many people that I work with: They have good intentions, but lack the ability to follow through with them. Kate had multiple organizing systems, such as bins and plastic drawer sets, stacked on top of one another, ready to be filled, but because of the volume of stuff in the house, there was no place to put them, let alone put things in them.

Kate suffered from compulsive hoarding, a debilitating anxiety condition in which a person is trapped in a prison of his or her possessions. People who are compulsive hoarders come from all ages, races, ethnicities, and religious backgrounds and live all over the world. What all of these individuals have in common is a compulsive drive to acquire, and a crippling inability to get rid of things they no longer need, to the point where their living spaces cant be used in a healthy, functional manner.

Ive visited the homes of people whose spouses had left them because they could no longer bear to live amid so much stuff (including garbage); those who were in danger of losing their children to protective service agencies because the unsanitary state of their homes put their children at risk; and people whose entire homes were filled, floor to ceiling, with stacks of molding newspapers and magazines. Ive worked with people who ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner with their families on their beds or other makeshift tables formed by an overturned box or two, because their dining area and coffee table were piled high with things so that there was no other place to eat. One man I met had so many ceramic dogs all over his homehe preferred them to peoplethat there was no place to sit. I have a very limited sense of smell, the result of a horseback riding accident when I was a child, yet I have felt my eyes tear up at the powerful odor of urine or feces or rotting food.