Michael A. Tompkins - Digging Out: Helping Your Loved One Manage Clutter, Hoarding, and Compulsive Acquiring

If your loved one has a problem with compulsive saving, this book can help you both save what really countsyourselves! With equal parts compassion, wisdom, and practicality, Michael Tompkins and Tamara Hartl offer step-by-step instructions for helping family members and friends with hoarding challenges. The authors passion for their work comes through on every page, and their extensive experience is evident in every nugget of advice they offer.

Jeff Bell, author of When in Doubt, Make Belief: An OCD-Inspired Approach to Living with Uncertainty

An essential guide for loved ones of those who compulsively hoard. Digging Out takes a compassionate approach to both the hoarder and the family members perspective and offers practical tools that really work to reduce harm associated with clutter and improve family relationships.

Belinda Lyons, executive director of the Mental Health Association of San Francisco

Digging Out is a remarkable book. Michael Tompkins and Tamara Hartl walk the reader step-by-step through the difficult process of letting go of unrealistic expectations, healing old wounds, and helping loved ones get much-needed help for compulsive hoarding. This book is likely to become a must-read for family members of people with significant hoarding problems.

David F. Tolin, Ph.D., ABPP, director of the anxiety disorders center at The Institute of Living and adjunct associate professor of psychiatry at Yale University School of Medicine

This excellent book is a boon to people that hoard, their families, and mental health professionals. It provides a clear method, harm reduction, that has been proven effective in reducing the dangerous consequences of hoarding, yet also promotes positive relationships between the hoarder and his or her loved ones. The authors are to be commended for the benefits offered by Digging Out to the many people who have to cope with this disabling disorder.

Paul R. Munford, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and director of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Center for OCD and Anxiety in San Rafael, CA

Digging Out is a wonderful book for those who have family members or other loved ones with compulsive hoarding and cluttering problems. It provides a practical, realistic, in-depth, and empathic approach to helping manage this serious and often debilitating problem using harm-reduction techniques. This book manages that most difficult of combinationsproviding hope and guidance without minimizing potential obstacles to success.

Carol A. Mathews, MD, associate professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco School of Medicine

Undoubtedly, Digging Out is one of the best available texts for assisting the families of those suffering from hoarding and cluttering to declutter and help their loved ones live in a healthy environment. I highly recommend the book for all who work with or may come across people struggling with hoarding and cluttering.

Johnson Ojo, REHS, special programs manager, San Francisco Department of Public Health

Publishers Note

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books

Copyright 2009 by Michael A. Tompkins & Tamara L. Hartl

New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

5674 Shattuck Avenue

Oakland, CA 94609

www.newharbinger.com

All Rights Reserved

Acquired by Tesilya Hanauer; Cover design by Amy Shoup; Edited by Nelda Street; Text design by Tracy Marie Carlson

epub ISBN: 9781608825424

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data for the print version is on file with the publisher

To Luann, Madeleine, and Olivia, who make the trip worthwhile.

Michael A. Tompkins

To the memory of my grandfather, Linwood Wotton, whose wisdom continues to influence which challenges I choose to accept.

Tamara L. Hartl

For Those Who Are Open to Help: Treatments That Work Why They Refuse Help Digging Out How to Use This Book

Defining Compulsive Hoarding Why Save That Why People Keep Hoarding How Do You Know if Your Loved One Has the Problem Could It Be Something Else

What Is Harm Reduction Applying Harm Reduction to Compulsive Hoarding Why Harm Reduction Can Help

Let Go Understand Forgive Grab Hold

Engaging Your Loved One in the Harm Reduction Approach Introducing Your Loved One to the Harm Reduction Approach

Conducting the Home Assessment Acquisition Pathways Identifying Harm Reduction Targets

Features of a Harm Reduction Plan Putting the Harm Reduction Team Together Creating the Harm Reduction Plan Formalizing the Harm Reduction Contract

Step Carefully: Seven Steps to Successful Home Visits Why Do You Have This Here L.E.A.R.N.: Listen, Empathize, Affirm, Redirect, and Negotiate Skills for the Long Term

Six Common Reasons for Contract Failures Working Through Contract Failures Avoiding Contract Burnout Using Appropriate Pressure Making the Best of a Public Situation

When People Who Hoard Live Together When People Who Hoard Live in Assisted-Care Facilities When the Person Who Hoards Is an Older Adult How Frailty Influences Harm Reduction

There Are No Bad Guys, Only Potential Team Members Adult and Child Protective Services Health and Safety Codes Guardianship or conservatorship Eviction Notices Clear-Out Interventions

Recommended Reading Professionals Who Can Help Support Groups Other Resources Tips for Managing Paper, Mail, and E-mail Where to Donate or Recycle