Curtis Sittenfeld - You Think It, I’ll Say It

Nell and Henry always said that they would wait until marriage was legal for everyone in America, and now this is the caseits August 2015but earlier in the week Henry eloped with his graduate student Bridget. Bridget is twenty-three, moderately but not dramatically attractive (one of the few nonstereotypical aspects of the situation, Nell thinks, is Bridgets lack of dramatic attractiveness), and Henry and Bridget had been dating for six months. They began having an affair last winter, when Henry and Nell were still together; then in April, Henry moved out of the house he and Nell own and into Bridgets apartment. Nell and Henry had been a couple for eleven years.

In the shuttle between the Kansas City airport and the hotel where Nells weekend meetings will occurthe shuttle is a van, and she is its only passengera radio host and a guest are discussing the presidential candidacy of Donald Trump. The driver catches Nells eye in the rearview mirror and says, Hes not afraid to speak his mind, huh? You gotta give him that.

Nell makes a nonverbal sound to acknowledge that, in the most literal sense, she heard the comment.

The driver says, I never voted before, but, he makes it all the way, maybe I will. A tough businessman like that could go kick some butts in Washington.

There was a time, up to and including the recent past, when Nell would have said something calm but repudiating in response, something professorial, or at least intended as such. Perhaps: What is it about Trumps business record that you find most persuasive? But now she thinks, Youre a moron. All she says is Interesting, then she looks out the window, at the humidly overcast sky and the prairies behind ranch-style wooden fencing. Though she lives in Wisconsin, not so many states away, she has never been to Kansas City, or even to Missouri.

Im not a Republican, the driver says. But Im not a Democrat, either, thats for sure. You wouldnt never catch me voting for Shrillary. He shudders, or mock-shudders. If I was Bill, Id cheat on her, too.

The driver appears to be in his early twenties, fifteen or so years younger than Nell, with narrow shoulders on a tall frame over which he wears a shiny orange polo shirt; the van is also orange, and an orange ballpoint pen is set behind his right ear. He has nearly black hair that is combed back and looks wet, and the skin on his face is pale white and pockmarked. In the rearview mirror, he and Nell make eye contact again, and he says, Im not sexist.

Nell says nothing.

You married? he asks.

No, she says.

Boyfriend?

No, she says again, then immediately regrets ithe gave her two chances, and she failed to take either.

Me, Im divorced, he says. Never getting wrapped up in that again. But Ive got a four-year-old, Lisette. Total daddys girl. You have kids?

No. This she has no desire to lie about.

Will he scold her? He doesnt. Instead, he asks, You a lawyer?

She actually smiles. You mean like Hillary? No. Im a professor.

A professor of what?

English. Now she is lying. She is a professor of gender and womens studies, but outside academia its often easier not to get into it.

She pulls her phone from the jacket shes wearing because of how cold the air-conditioning is and says, in a brisk tone, I need to send an email. Instead, she checks to see how much longer it will take to get to the hoteltwenty-two minutes, apparently. The interruption works, and he doesnt try to talk to her again until theyre downtown, off the highway. In the meantime, via Facebook, she accidentally discovers that Henry and Bridget, who got married two days ago in New Orleans (why New Orleans? Nell has no idea), had a late breakfast of beignets this morning and, as of an hour ago, were strolling around the French Quarter.

How long you in K.C.? the driver asks as he stops the van beneath the hotels porte cochere. The driveway is busy with other cars coming and going and valets and bellhops sweating in maroon uniforms near automatic glass doors.

Until Sunday, Nell says.

Business or pleasure?

Its the midyear planning meeting for the governing board of the national association of which Nell is the most recent past president, all of which sounds so boring that she is perversely tempted to describe it to him. But she simply says, Business.

You have free time, you should check out our barbecue, the guy says. Best ribs in town are at Winslows. Youre not a vegetarian, are you?

She and Henry were both vegetarians when they met, which was in graduate school; he was getting a PhD in political science. Then, about five years ago, by coincidence, Henry went to a restaurant where Nell was having lunch with a friend. Nell was eating a BLT. Neither she nor Henry said anything until that night at home, when she asked, Did you notice what was on my plate today?

Actually, Henry said, Ive been eating meat, too.

Nell was stunned. Not upset but truly shocked. She said, Since when?

A year? Henry looked sheepish as he added, Its just so satisfying.

They laughed, and they started making steak for dinner, or sausage, although, because of the kind of people they were (insufferable people, Nell thinks now), it had to be grass-fed or free-range or organic. And not too frequent.

All of which is to say that many times since she learned of Henrys affair she has wondered not only if she should have known but even if she is at fault for not cheating on him. Was there an unspoken pact that she failed to discern? And, either way, hadnt she been warned? An admiring twenty-three-year-old graduate student was, presumably, just so satisfying! Plus, Bridget and Henry had become involved at a time when Nell and Henry could go months without sex. They still got along well enough, but if they had ever felt passion or excitementand truly, in retrospect, she cant remember if they didthey didnt anymore. Actually, what she remembers from their courtship is dinners at a not very good Mexican restaurant near campus, during which she could tell that he was trying to seem smart to her in exactly the way that she was trying to seem smart to him. Maybe for them that