Martha Karelius - A Better Version of You: A Life-Changing Guide to Personal and Professional Fulfillment

Copyright 2015 Martha Karelius
All rights reserved.

ISBN: 151412209X
ISBN 13: 9781514122099
Library of Congress Control Number: 2015908739
CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform
North Charleston, South Carolina

To my husband, John, who lives and
breathes self-organization,
and who, by doing so, enjoys a rewarding,
self-actualized life.

Go confidently in the direction of your
dreams. Live the life youve imagined.
As you simplify your life, the laws of the
universe will be simpler.

HENRY DAVID THOREAU (1854)

T ime management is as elusive to modern man as that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I believe that the concept of managing or controlling time is a fallacy. We can only manage or control what we do with that time. My focus is to do the little things every day that move me closer to my goals. This might be spending time with family and friends, building my career, learning something new, or pursuing fun adventures and personal hobbies. As an example, at the height of my career I was the number-two agent in the United States for CENTURY 21. That same year I managed the number-seven office in the CENTURY 21 system, 120 agents strong. I was a member of two book clubs and a quilting club. I visited my son in Germany when he completed his tour in Iraq, spent a week at a cooking school in Italy, and celebrated New Years in Japan with my daughter. And so it can be said, and in fact it has been said, that I am very good at time management. I appreciate that, but I think it takes more than managing time. I feel my success lies in excellent self-organization.

Not that long ago news traveled only as fast as it could be physically shared. Neighbors chatted over back fences and employees exchanged juicy tidbits at the water cooler. Today we can transmit verbal information and data to the far corners of the earth at the speed of light. Consider the way our daily lives have changed in recent years with regard to mail. For the longest time it was delivered to our homes once a day, every day except Sunday. If we worked in an office, it was delivered once a day, weekdays, as well. The entire process required a mere few minutes and had a start and a finish. Circulars and ads went directly into the trash. The bills went into one stack and personal cards or letters were read and cherished. Done.

Today mail pops into our inbox relentlessly, 24/7. It has become such a distraction that it is possible to lose an entire day checking and responding to e-mail. We get involved in e-mail conversations that volley back and forth ending with a series of parting words, including a few have a nice days. Its as if no one wants to be the first to hang up. Eventually someone sends a happy face emoticon and the e-mail thread finally ends.

While youre checking (and rechecking) your e-mail, you receive a message to alert you that someone has commented on a photo you are tagged in on Facebook. Curious about that photo, you follow the link to the post only to find that you arent actually in the photojust tagged. But while youre there

And so it goes.

The distractions are relentless. How will we ever have time to follow our hopes and dreams or do the things that make our hearts sing if we cant even keep up with our mail? We will do it through self-organization. This starts with excellent personal goals and thoughtful daily plans. We will learn to prioritize and hold ourselves accountable. In other words, we will run our lives instead of chasing our tails, and by doing so, live the self-actualized life we have imagined.

In this book I will share a number of ideas that work for me. My hope is that some of these concepts resonate with you. Try them out, adjust as necessary, and implement the systems that you feel will make you a better version of the person you were yesterday. There is no one right way to live life. By forming good habits and living in a purposeful way, we can enjoy a richer, more fulfilling existence. And that is our pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Always be a first-rate version of yourself and
not a second-rate version of someone else.

JUDY GARLAND (1988)

F eel free to be your authentic self. We acknowledge that nobodys perfect, so lets agree to lower the bar on perfectionism. Not every day is the best day ever. You dont have to be perfect to be positive, forward thinking, and human. Its OK to admit that you cant be everything everyone needs you to be, and do everything that needs to be done, all the time. We try not to make mistakes, but we do. If we are genuine, transparent, and human, we cant go too far wrong.

When I was growing up, children were expected to be seen and not heard. We were told that boys did not cry, and even on bad days, my mother was expected to put on a happy face for my father when he came home from work. After all, he held down a real job. No wonder we struggle with authenticity. From our very early years, we are trained to rein in our emotions and adopt a slightly altered version of our true selves.

Many people are afraid to let their guard down because they dont want to appear vulnerable. Being vulnerable somehow implies that we are weak. We are most comfortable demonstrating that we are capable and confident even in situations where we are in totally over our heads. For example, when shopping Im usually on a mission to find something specific or something for an occasion. My default answer when a salesperson offers assistance is, No, thank you. Just looking. Because I do need help, regret sets in as soon as the words come out. Its as if accepting help from someone who specializes in customer service is a disgrace. We arent required to have all the answers, and allowing an expert to guide us is not only smart, but much more efficient than wasting time trying to figure things out for ourselves. There is nothing wrong with being authentic and admitting that we could use a little help. Knowing where to go to get the answers is the next best thing to having them.

I have a tendency to buy the same clothes year in and year out. Its a running joke shared with my daughter. If we are shopping together, or I text a photo of something that catches my eye, her response is usually, Dont you already own that? I usually do. Perhaps not literally, but I am admittedly stuck in a clothing rut. Theres a reason for that. Its just me.

I was invited to a retreat in Lake Arrowhead with about fifteen very powerful, confident women. It was intimidating and inspiring at the same time. A few of the ladies hit the boutiques for a little shopping fun and discovered a silk jacket made of very bold, bright-red/orange prints. It was quite a work of art. They agreed that the jacket should represent the new, vibrant me and they persuaded me to buy it. The minute the purchase was complete, buyers remorse set in. The jacket was definitely not me and it never left the hanger. Frankly, whenever I put it on, it felt like it was wearing me. Im simply not the bright, bold person they wanted me to be. I prefer tailored, unpretentious clothes and accept the fact that trendy, fun, exotic, or otherwise interesting clothing doesnt work for me. Im fine with that and agree with Ralph Waldo Emerson that to be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.