Aryanne Oade - Managing Workplace Bullying: How to Identify, Respond to and Manage Bullying Behaviour in the Workplace

Aryanne Oade

Director, Oade Associates Limited

Aryanne Oade 2009

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First published 2009 by
PALGRAVE MACMILLAN

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ISBN-13: 978-0-230-22808-5

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Aryanne Oade is a Chartered Psychologist, coach, workshop facilitator and author. She is the owner of a successful and established coaching and development practice which mixes business psychology with the skills of professional actors. Aryanne set up her business in 1994. Since then she has designed and delivered over 130 bespoke executive coaching programs and over 100 tailored professional skills workshops for leaders, managers and employees of client organizations across the UK, Europe and North America. Some of these projects have involved working with clients on the reality of handling bullying behavior at work. Aryanne has coached people being bullied, those employing bullying behavior, team colleagues of peoplebeing bullied and the managers of bullies.

This book focuses on how to identify and manage bullying behavior at work. In writing the book I am offering you, the reader, my experiences and know-how as someone who has coached and worked with clients on many issues involving workplace bullying. I am not seeking to advise you on how to handle your specific workplace relationships, but rather to offer you my insights as someone who has coached and worked with many clients on these challenging issues.

Every situation is unique so, in addition to reading this book, those of you who are subject to workplace bullying might want to consult your HR department or refer to your employers anti-bullying policy, should these resources be available to you. You might also want to seek the services of a professional advisor skilled at helping people with the psychological, emotional and physical effects of workplace bullying: a therapist, business psychologist or health professional who should be able to offer you tailored, detailed and impartial counsel on the particular interpersonal and intrapersonal issues you might be facing as a result of your workplace experiences.

I would like to acknowledge a number of people who have played a part in my work and the writing of this book.

Firstly, my thanks and gratitude go to all the clients who have spoken with me over the years about their experiences of handling bullying behavior at work. These are among some of the most rewarding coaching conversations I have had and I appreciate that, from a clients point of view, perhaps some of the hardest to be involved in.

Next, I would like to thank the very many clients, contacts and friends with firsthand experiences of workplace bullying who allowed me to pick their brains at the start of the writing process. These conversations gave me valuable material for the examples in the book and helped me decide how to structure and focus its chapters. I send my thanks to each one of you gratefully and anonymously.

Finally, Id also like to send my special appreciation to Julie Perry for her helpful and thoughtful critique of each of the chapters as I wrote them and to Stephen Rutt and the entire team at Palgrave Macmillan for being such effective and enjoyable coworkers.

This book is about bullying behavior at work: what it is; how to handle it effectively; how to respond if you find yourself subject to it; what to do if you work with, for or alongside a bully; what to do if you manage someone who uses bullying behavior in the workplace; and what to do to effectively support someone you know who is being bullied at work.

I wrote this book for the increasing numbers of people at work across all four continents who are experiencing bullying behavior at work. Specifically I wrote it for those of you who:

• Think that you might currently be subject to bullying at work or worry that you could be in the near future.
• Have already been bullied at work and want to learn from the experience.
• Witness bullying behavior in your workplace and would like to know what to do to make sure that, should the bully turn their attention onto you, you will know how to respond constructively.
• Find yourself managing someone who uses bullying behavior.
• Are the friends or family of people being bullied, want to understand more about what your loved one is experiencing from the inside out, and want to know how to effectively support them during and after they are subject to bullying at work.

My aim in writing the book is four fold.

• Firstly: for those of you who have firsthand experience of the debilitating effects of workplace bullying, my wish is to equip you with effective tools, strategies, insight and knowledge which will give you the confidence to handle bullying behavior as and when it happens.
• Secondly: for those of you who have organizational seniority over a bully, my aim is to provide you with some effective management strategies so that you can confront the bully in a way that does convince them to alter their behavior and stop bullying or convinces them to seek help to stop bullying.
• Thirdly: for those of you witnessing bullying behavior at work, and/ or those of you who are close to someone who is being bullied, my aim is to furnish you with enough knowledge about what your friend or loved one is going through that you find ways of supporting them which they experience as supportive, understanding and helpful.