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Paul Axtell - Make Meetings Matter: How to Turn Meetings from Status Updates to Remarkable Conversations

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Make Meetings Matter: How to Turn Meetings from Status Updates to Remarkable Conversations: summary, description and annotation

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Meetings should matter.
No one wants to be called in for a meeting that couldve been an email. No one wants to sit in a meeting where everyones distracted or talking over each other. If youre going to attend or lead a meeting, dont you want it to...well, matter?
Meetings are a chance to initiate a conversation with your teammates. You can communicate information with them that wouldnt have the same hold digitally. You can foster new relationships with your coworkers, and learn from their new ideas and perspectives.
So why do so many people dread meetings? Because theyre doing them all wrong.
Change the way people think about meetings. Transform their opinions by holding a meeting that is efficient and productive, that is open and communicative, that is useful and important.
Revolutionize the definition of a meeting. Learn to make them matter.
Paul Axtell affirms the importance of meetings, and he redesigns them using the vital foundation of conversation. With real-life examples and actionable advice, he shows you how to design meetings for results, lead them to achieve agendas that move projects forward, and even allow time for building the relationships that make working together in a remarkable way possible. Based on his award winning efficiency training, this book will revolutionize the meeting--moving it from that dreaded obligation to a powerful way to get things done in business and in life.

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Copyright 2015 2020 by Paul Axtell Cover and internal design 2020 by - photo 1
Copyright 2015 2020 by Paul Axtell Cover and internal design 2020 by - photo 2

Copyright 2015, 2020 by Paul Axtell

Cover and internal design 2020 by Sourcebooks

Cover design by Ploy Siripant

Cover images New Vibe/Shutterstock

Sourcebooks, the colophon, and Simple Truths are registered trademarks of Sourcebooks.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systemsexcept in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviewswithout permission in writing from its publisher, Sourcebooks.

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional service. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought. From a Declaration of Principles Jointly Adopted by a Committee of the American Bar Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associations

All brand names and product names used in this book are trademarks, registered trademarks, or trade names of their respective holders. Sourcebooks is not associated with any product or vendor in this book.

Published by Simple Truths, an imprint of Sourcebooks

P.O. Box 4410, Naperville, Illinois 60567-4410

(630) 961-3900

sourcebooks.com

This edition is based on Meetings Matter, originally published in 2015 in the United States of America by Jackson Creek Press.

Contents

For Amy, Jesse, and Cindy.

I wrote this book for everyone who wants to be really good, for everyone who wants their organization to be successful, and especially for those who have endured countless meetings wishing they would be better and not quite sure what to do about them.

You and your meetings can be beyond good.

Preface

This book is about getting twenty people in a meeting to feel like five friends having a conversation over coffee. Not easy, but doable.

As a manager, would it make a difference if employees looked forward to your meetings? As an individual, would it help if you knew that every meeting on your schedule this week would add momentum to your priorities and projects?

Meetings are a competitive edge for every organization that gets them right. And for individuals, the ability to lead and participate effectively in meetings is at the heart of having influence in an organization.

Like anything worthy of mastery, it takes patience, persistence, and practice to take your meetings from ordinary to extraordinary. But it will not take years. Choosing a single thing to focus on in your next five to ten meetings will produce immediate change. This book sets you on the right trajectory. In three months, your meetings can be dramatically different.

Introduction

The ability to set up a conversation, manage the conversation, and wrap it up effectively is the missing piece in meetings everywhere. While most people think passion, knowledge, and drive are all they need to succeed, through my long career in organizational management, I am here to tell you: it is your meeting skills that will set you apart . Collectively, any organization that establishes a deep capacity for excellent meetings will have an edge in execution, accomplishment, and engagement.

Despite solutions being quite simple at their core, meetings continue to be a source of irritation and frustrationespecially when people end up taking work home to make up for time lost in unproductive meetings. These are the six most common complaints:

  1. My boss is terrible at leading meetings.
  2. A few people dominate the conversations.
  3. The group is too large to get anything done.
  4. We just pass along information. We dont talk about real issues.
  5. Too many people are distracted by devices.
  6. We dont make progress between meetings.

The online meeting scheduling firm Doodle found these to be the most prevalent irritants:

Biggest Irritations in Meetings*

  • 9%: People taking notes on laptops
  • 21%: People who dont contribute to the discussion
  • 24%: People eating
  • 46%: People who talk about nothing for long periods of time
  • 49%: Arriving late or leaving early
  • 49%: People who dont listen to others
  • 50%: People who interrupt others
  • 55%: Taking phone calls or texting

*The Doodle State of Meetings Report 2019, from research with 6,528 professional in the UK, Germany, and the USA

Given this broad list of complaints, its no wonder most people have given up hope that things could be different. Good people are no longer preparing for meetings or participating in ways that add value. They have moved to the sidelines.

This book will provide you the tools to solve each of these complaints. Its time to move meetings from frustrating to effective to remarkable. The ideas in this book work, and their impact will reach far beyond your meetings. The foundational ideas on perspective, conversation, and relationship will change your interactions with your family and colleagues and impact almost everything you do.

If we can make each of our conversations richer in terms of engagement, attention, candor, and respect, our meetings will improve.

Chapter 1: Choose the Perspective: This Matters

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

Dr. Wayne Dyer

_____

The first step on the journey toward effective meetings begins with choosing empowering new perspectives. Much of this book focuses on the techniques and practices required to make your meetings better. Unfortunately, even the best tactics cannot overcome a dis empowering perspective.

We all operate with certain perspectives in placevalues we learned from our parents, from our coaches, from friends, or from lines in movies or books that resonated with our thoughts about ourselves or about life. Such phrases remind us of who we want to be or how we want to respond to life. Here are two that have stuck with me:

  • From Adam Wainwright, St. Louis Cardinals pitcher: You fall into the trap of being mediocre. If youre OK with being mediocre, then youre going to be mediocre.
  • From Sir Edmund Hillary, New Zealand mountaineer: People do not decide to become extraordinary. They decide to accomplish extraordinary things.

These two broad perspectives point us forward. Simply noticing where we have settled for mediocre meetings and choosing to get on the path of being extraordinary will bring immediate change. In addition, throughout the book are perspectives that, if chosen and embraced, will impact your groups conversations. For example, as the person calling the meeting, you are responsible for the time and talent in the room; do not disrespect it . Or, as a participant, your participation could make all the difference in the outcomes and experience of this meeting .

Perspectives shape our experienceof life and meetings

A perspective for everyday life: Treat each person, each conversation, and each moment as though they matter

This is perhaps the most powerful perspective for shaping a positive experience in many aspects of life and work. You may be familiar with Tolstoys story The Three Questions from What Men Live By :

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