Carolyn Boyes - Communication

Secrects

The experts tell all!

Carolyn Boyes

Communication is at the heart of everything we do in business, yet poor communication is a huge problem for businesses and individuals, causing low morale, poor performance and high staff turnover. Much communication happens by accident, with the wrong messages coming across. If you want to be successful in business, it is worth learning about really good communication.

As a person working in international business throughout my career, I have seen how communication can help and hinder relationships within an organization, and impact on teams and goals for the business as a whole. Poor communication can cause stress and hardship for individuals within an organization.

With a background in languages and sales, I have always found words extremely important to me. People in business can earn big money from being skilled with words but can also lose their jobs if they have poor communication skills. Communication can often be distorted because people think they have said one thing but have really given a totally different message. During the last 10 years, as trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, I have become aware of the deeper communication that goes on between individuals and groups through non-verbal communication. Thats why its important that all business people consider the secrets of communication.

This book consists of 50 secrets in total, divided into seven chapters.

Firm foundations. Shows you the essentials of communication you can take into any situation.

Body basics. Explains non-verbal communication and what to look out for.

Team talk. Gives you the run-down on communicating with your colleagues or your boss.

Making the most of meetings. Tells you what to do in a meeting or presentation.

Selling successfully. Gives you the secrets of how you can communicate effectively with clients.

Dealing at a distance. Helps you with the ins and outs of telephone calls and emails.

Ditching the difficulties. Puts you in charge of difficult communication situations.

Do not take good com munication for granted, but rather plan and practise your communication skills.

Pay attention to the fundamentals of communication to get your message across in the way you want to, both for yourself and for your business. With good communication, you will avoid being misunderstood and expressing inconsistent or unclear messages, ideas, feelings and instructions. Instead, you will become more effective in your career and form stronger relationships with both colleagues and clients.

Yes, it sounds basic, but most of us just open our mouths and speak without prior thought. Yet, whether you are talking or just standing around, you are communicating. So take responsibility. Everything you say and do gives a message in business about how you see yourself and your job.

It is said that we:

Hear half of what is said; listen to half of that; understand half of that; believe half of that, and remember half of that. (Anon)

Face to face or on the telephone, business is won and lost by communication. If you dont communicate well enough to a customer or to your boss, you might lose money or your next promotion. The real communication is the message the other person picks up. Take these steps to make sure you always are in control of your message.

one minute wonder One of the first steps you can take to improve your communication is to make it two-way. Sometimes you need to hold back from telling others about all the wonderful things you know and start listening instead.

Use your ears. Remember, communication is not two monologues. If you are talking to someone, listen as well.

Take your time. Pause, ask questions, negotiate, sell, respect the other persons point of view.

Get in tune. Good communicators are very flexible. They monitor the other persons reactions and vary their delivery according to the understanding and background of the person.

Be focused. Have a reason to communicate. Dont just open your mouth. What outcome do you want from your communication? If you know what you want, you are more likely to be focused in how you communicate.

Pay attention to the medium. In business, how you communicate is often as important as what you communicate.

Choose your approach. Will your message be more effective if you speak face to face, have a meeting or write an email?

Think before you speak. People who think through what they are going to say can be a rarity in business. Many people talk in order to form thoughts; they produce a lot of noise but without much purpose.

Develop your natural inquisitiveness. Good communicators are genuinely interested in listening as well as talking. They want to gain new knowledge and hear what the other person has to say.

Take responsibility for what you say and how you say it.

One of the hazards in business conversations is falling into the habit of stating fact after fact in an assertive manner when the statements are really just opinions. To be clear in your communication and avoid misunderstandings, learn to distinguish your facts from opinions and assertions.

When you talk, there are only a few ways in which you can say something: by asking questions, stating facts or giving opinions. If you want to communicate well in business, you need to recognize when it is appropriate to be gentle, when you should be forceful and when to be probing and challenging.

Often people state facts or offer opinions when really they should be trying to pry out information through soft questioning. So lets be clear: a fact is something that is specific enough that you can prove it with evidence.

Fact. The economy grew by 10% year on year.

Opinion. I am always right and you are always wrong.

one minute wonder To add authority to your voice, pay attention to your tone. Questions, statements and commands all have their own intonation. Avoid making statements where your voice rises up at the end of the phrase as this will sound as if you are questioning or doubtful. Statements sound strong when using a voice that is level or falls at the end.

The first statement is a fact and can be backed up with evidence. The second statement, on the other hand, is not a fact; it is an opinion. It is important that you dont get confused between facts and opinions, whether as a manager or an employee, or when you are selling or negotiating. If you give an opinion, it should always be made clear, usually by saying something like, in my opinion or in my way of thinking as a way to introduce the theme. This allows the opportunity for discussion and others to hold different views to your own.

The poorest form of communication is the overuse of assertions, as an assertion is an opinion pretending to be a fact. Because they are not prefaced by any sign that they are an opinion, the other person is encouraged to accept them as being true even if there is no hard evidence to support them.

Weak communicators use assertions in order to close down debate and discussion. They close off any room for the other person in the conversation to give their opinion. Managers who use assertions all the time soon find that they are surrounded by yes people while never really finding out what is going on in their organizations.

Distinguish facts from your opinions in conversations by making it clear when it is just your view.