Darling - The Networking Survival Guide

THE NETWORKING SURVIVAL GUIDE

Practical Advice to Help You
Gain Confidence,
Approach People, and
Get the Success You Want

SECOND EDITION

DIANE DARLING

Copyright 2010, 2003 by Diane C. Darling. All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the United States Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced or distributed in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

ISBN: 978-0-07-175111-7

MHID: 0-07-175111-4

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To MomI miss you more than ever!

Its hard to believe that when I first wrote The Networking Survival Guide, social networking wasnt a term, friend wasnt a verb, and if someone asked for your Twitter handle, youd be quite puzzled.

All that has changed significantly in less than 10 years. Im often asked whether face-to-face networking will become extinct. My sense is that online networking will help to facilitate face-to-face and vice versa. There are mistakes we make, both in person and online. But at the end of the day, we all need others to get things done.

This book wouldnt exist without networking. Thank you to Martha Donovan, who told JoAnn Lublin at the Wall Street Journal about my workshops. And it was in that paper on December 4, 2001, that an acquisitions editor at McGraw-Hill read the story and called with a question that I never thought Id hear: Would you like to write a book?

I am also often asked who is better at networkingmen or women. I believe the differences arent identified by gender. You are either smart or... well, stupid seems harsh. But if you have a good network in place, when you need something, you have people to call.

As always, it takes a village to write a book. There are many to thank.

The crew at McGraw-Hill, who gave me freedom, trust, and feedback.

Thank you to Todd Randolph for his significant contribution to writing and editing. His clarity and fresh perspective kept me focused and reassured.

To the many introverts who have inspired me and helped me to be more comfortable in my own skin. I do like people, I really do! But sometimes they just wear me out. I now understand the difference between friendly and extroverted.

To the many newsletter subscribers who share their stories and insights, thank you! I wish I could meet each and every one of you. Please keep your stories coming.

Congratulationsyouve just made an investment in your life. While we may enjoy the fantasy that we can do everything ourselves, its just not realistic. We need other people. But how do we build and maintain relationships? How do we decide how much time to spend networking? What mistakes should we avoid?

Throughout this book are stories and examples of how people have used networkingboth online and off. These will give you insights into and ideas about how to make connections. You will have an opportunity to hear these peoples experiences firsthand.

There are exercises that I encourage you to do. Find a partner or group and practice some of the tips that I provide. If you are an introvert, find a networking buddy to go to events with you. If you are an extrovert, try to do some active listening.

You will also learn of the many ways to network that you may overlook. Here are a few examples:

Writing an article, blog, or book

Speaking

Connecting people to each other

Asking a question at an event

Being on a panel

Serving on a committee

Sending a thank-you note

Making a referral

Participating online, be it social networking sites or online groups or communities

Most important, just get started. Whether you are beginning your career, looking to advance, or even finding ways to retire, other people are your best resource for getting anything accomplished in a cost-effective, time-efficient way.

Even outside of work, we associate with people that we like and get to knowoften through friends or friends of friends. Think about your last vacation or restaurant experience. We frequently learn about opportunities through word of mouth.