Jonathan Raymond - Good Authority: How to Become the Leader Your Team Is Waiting For

how to become the

LEADER

your team is waiting for

AUTHORITY

JONATHAN RAYMOND

Copyright 2016 by Jonathan Raymond. All rights reserved.

Published by IdeaPress Publishing, Washington DC

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ISBN: 978-1-940858-19-7 MHID: 1-940858-19-4

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No animals were harmed in the writing, printing, or distribution of this book.

The trees, however, were not so lucky.

The privilege of a lifetime
is to become who you truly are.

C.G. Jung

CONTENTS

THE GOOD AUTHORITY
MANIFESTO

GOOD AUTHORITY IS

The presence to name the things
that most people overlook

The kindness to speak up today
instead of waiting until tomorrow

The patience to meet each person
where they are on the journey

The generosity to challenge them
to go a little bit further

The fortitude to not accept excuses
in place of responsibility

The curiosity to ask questions that you
dont know the answers to

The wisdom to resist the comfortable answers
and hold out for the right ones

The willingness to make an unpopular stand
if it helps one person grow

The transparency to share what you feel
with each member of your team

The strength to wait for others to discover
their own truth for themselves

The integrity to never ask someone to live up
to a standard that you dont yourself

The vulnerability to say what you feel even if
you think it wont change anything

The audacity to assume that you can change the world

And, the humility to be wrong about all of it
and start over again tomorrow

Jon Versus the Volcano

Homeis where I want to be.
But I guess Im already there.

Talking Heads

It seemed like the perfect day to hike up a volcano. But as we swallowed the last few bites of our pack-lunch the skies opened up. The gentle dirt path wed been hiking up the last few hours was instantly transformed into a rapidly flowing river of Central American mud. We probably couldve waited out the storm before heading back to the lodge. We probably shouldve. But we were 28 years old. So we made a run for it.

It was one of those experiences that starts out awful but becomes wonderful; awful for as long as you try and control it, wonderful when you finally let go. After a few minutes of repeated tripping and falling, I found my stride. If I lifted and stepped with just the right amount of force I could stay near the surface of the mud river, a kind of surf-walking. Pull too hard and my shoes were summarily sucked back downand more than a few times pulled clear offby this surprisingly sticky stuff. My traveling companions discovered it too. There was only one way to do it. And then the physical surrender turned to a mental one. My mind started to wander, freed up by the rhythmic monotony of motion. I started to feel how much pain I was actually in.

The pain was not in my legs. It was in my life. The year was 1999, and Id graduated from law school the year before. I was one year into my first real careerslaving away in the bowels of a large, prestigious Manhattan law firm. I was drawn in by the money and the high stakes. When I faxed a copy of my first paycheck to my grandmother she called me a minute later to let me know it mustve been a clerical error and that I should just keep quiet and hope they didnt notice.

I loved the negotiations, the intellectual challenge of organizational structure, high finance, and the opportunity to learn from people at the very top of the game. But the personal price was impossibly high. Everyone around me was miserable. There were unbearable tyrants in the corner offices. But, like every other business Ive ever come across, this one was mostly filled with kind and dedicated people trying to make the best of a tough situation.

The problem was the inhumanity of it all: the unrealistic expectations of leadership; a team of people who might otherwise be friends forced to compete with each other over resources; a toxic mix of power and unconscious behavior that left people feeling like they didnt matter, that they didnt have a voice, and that the only way to survive was to put their heads down and bear it. It was a profitable business. And a human disaster area.

That law firm was an extreme workplace in one way. But, as I would come to learn over the next few decades, when it came to the things that really matteredto the emotional world where human beings liveit was far more the norm than I ever wouldve imagined.

But I didnt have the life experience to know that while we were sliding down the volcano. The experience I had was far more simple: I was single, stressed-out, and depressed. And while I was no authority on soulsmy familys bible was The New York Times I was certain that mine was seriously adrift. Somehow, in this one moment, I realized that continuing down the road I was on was no longer an option. I had to leave. I was still young enough to not worry too much about what would happen when I did. We were halfway down the trail when the words reached my lips.

Im done! I threw my head to the sky and screamed out loud into the torrential rain. My very own Shawshank moment. I continued on with my personal pep talk. I cant spend another day pretending that this is okay. Everyone I work with is miserable. And nobody is doing anything about it. There has got to be a better way. Im going to walk into Dougs office on Monday morning and give my two weeks notice.

Monday morning arrived. I was back at work and it was time to put my new-found resolve to the test. Quitting meant telling the bossthe senior partner in my department and one of the Top 100 Lawyers in New York (yes, thats a thing). He was a small man and scary as hell. The screaming, brutish, Napoleon type. He was not what I would call a Good Authority.

I walked past his office three or four times, trying to work up the nerve, his secretary eyeing me and wondering what this was all about. Finally, I knocked on his open door. Come on in, he said, in a friendly tone that more than a little took me by surprise. What can I do for you? he asked.

Ive decided to leave the firm.

And with those six little words, all of a sudden we were equals. Just two guys in a room. I wasnt afraid anymore.