Georgia Witkin - The Modern Grandparent’s Handbook: The Ultimate Guide to the New Rules of Grandparenting

the modern grandparents handbook

the modern
grandparents
handbook

The Ultimate Guide to
the New Rules of Grandparenting

Dr. Georgia Witkin
Senior Editor, Grandparents.com

New American Library

N EW A MERICAN L IBRARY

Published by New American Library, a division of

Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street,

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First published by New American Library,

a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

First Printing, January 2012

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Copyright Dr. Georgia Witkin, 2012

All rights reserved

REGISTERED TRADEMARKMARCA REGISTRADA

LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGINGINPUBLICATION DATA:

Witkin, Georgia.

The modern grandparentss handbook: the ultimate guide to the new rules of grandparenting/Georgia Witkin.

p.cm.

EISBN: 9781101559642

1. Grandparenting. 2. Grandparent and child. I. Title.

HQ759.9.W58 2012

306.8745dc23 2011032114

Set in Garamond

Designed by Patrice Sheridan

Printed in the United States of America

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To my grandparents, Ida and William, Sadie and Sam,
for making me feel like the smartest and most talented
grandchild in the world, and to my grandchildren, Jake,
Ty and Natewho really are.

And in loving memory of my mother, my daughters
grandmother, and my grandchildrens great-grandmother,
Dr. Mildred Hope Fisher Witkin. You will read about her.
Her lan lives on!

Quotes in the book are inspired by actual
comments on Grandparents.com. Some may be
paraphrased or combined, and names and some
details may be changed to preserve anonymity.

introduction

A new grandparent is created every twenty seconds.

And if you are one of them, welcome! There are a lot of us alreadyone-third of the U.S. population. There are now 70 million grandparents in the United States, and 1.7 million more every year. And while there are lots of books to help parents who worry about their babys health, their babys size compared to the charts, and what IQboosting toys they should buy for their toddlers, there are very few books for us. Their parents. The grandparents!

But do we really need a book about grandparenting? After all, werent we parents already? Arent we founts of help and advice? Thrilled and devoted? Ready to jump in and help, but wise enough to know when to bow out and be silent? The givers of gifts, and guardians of family history? Mature? Mellow? And marvelous?

Yes, but

And isnt grandparenting natural? Werent there grandparents long before there were books? Isnt it instinctive? Basic? And builtin?

Yes, but

And havent we grown up watching our own grandparents in action? We had grandparents, our children have grandparents, and now our grandchildren have grandparents. Its the way of the world, isnt it?

Yes, but

Youll find that while your emotions may be universal and the problems are timeless, one thing is very different for todays grandparents. We are different!

Who We Really Are!

We are young.

Not just young in age, though we are. The average age of a first-time grandparent in the United States is only forty-eight years old. If you doubt it, do the math. If most mothers and fathers start their families in their twenties and their sons and daughters do also, most brand-new grandparents will be in their forties. And because we live so long now, we can expect to grandparent for at least half of our lives, and grandchildren can expect to enjoy three and four generations of family.

Not just young in appearance, though we are. When we were kids, grandparents looked old. They often had short gray hair, wore sensible shoes, sat a lotand often ate soft food. Well, not anymore! Our hair is any color we want (usually blond), and as long as we want. Our shoes may be sensible by day, but look fabulous at night. We only sit still when were doing yoga or at the movies or computer. And the soft food we eatsushi and gelato.

But most important, young at heartmuch younger in our lifestyles than most of our grandparents were at the same age. Let me give you some reasons why I say that. Grandparents.com recently commissioned a survey of todays grandparents, and here are our vital stats:

We are dynamic.

We are dating and divorcing and remarrying, just like our grown children. My own three grandsons have eleven grandparents, thanks to their grandparents divorces and remarriages! And by the way

• Ten thousand of us say we were part of a demonstration last year or attended a rally.
• About seven thousand of us say weve gotten a tattoo.
• And, despite teens thinking that we have sex twice a year or not at all, according to studies, 38 percent of us say we have sex at least twice a weekwhich I think also counts as exercise.

We are financially powerful.

Thought we were retired? Think again. Most of us still have a full- or part-time job and we have money, honey!

• We control 75 percent of the wealth of this country.
• We spend $2 trillion every year on consumer goods and services.
• We have the highest average net worth of any other age group ($254,000).

We are generous.

Advertisers and fund-raisers go after the young consumers, but they should be pitching us!

• We make 45 percent of the nations cash contributions to nonprofits.
• We spend $52 billionwith a bon our grandkids alone.
• We spend, on education-related costs, $32 billion a year. Yes, with a b.