Chrys Howard - Rockstar Grandparent: How You Can Lead the Way, Light the Road, and Launch a Legacy

1. Actions have consequences; you reap what you sow. Your actions affect others. I am responsible.

2. Respect God.

3. Family is important; there should be mutual respect and consideration within the family.

4. Respect government. Salute the position, if not the person.

5. Respect your employer. Salute the position, if not the person.

6. Do your duty. Some things we must do, like it or not.

7. Have faith. Trust God no matter what happens.

8. Be reverent. Worship God with all your strength, mind, and soul.

9. You have significance. You are made in the image of God.

10. We all have opportunity and the potential to do great things (risk/reward concept).

11. Be content. Happiness should not depend on your circumstances. Let it come from within.

12. Be self-disciplined. You shouldnt have to be told to control yourself.

13. Have courage. God will always be there. Take godly risks. You must step out and try things that are good.

14. Be responsibleand respond properly to your responsibilities.

15. You are not an owner but a manager. Treat all possessions as such. Give the owner (God) a fair return on His investment.

16. Its better to have little and be in Jesus than to have much and lose eternal life.

17. Be flexible.

18. Keep your priorities straight. Make first things first.

19. Recognize individual differences and accept them. Be tolerant and patient.

20. Practice active listening.

21. Be a good sharer; confess your sins, your fears, and your victories.

22. Have a sense of humor and use it correctly. Dont make fun of others.

23. Be a balanced individual. Have a balanced life.

24. Be committed to God, family, and others.

25. Always have a positive attitude and a can-do spirit.

26. Have a good prayer life. It will help you through every problem.

27. Have a healthy lifestyle. Take care of your body. Eat right and get plenty of good exercise.

28. Have an urgency for the lost.

29. Never stop learning. Get a good education and study on your own for the rest of your life.

30. Practice what you preach.

31. Dont be selfish or self-indulgent.

32. Be considerate of others and their belongings. Respect their privacy.

33. Persevere. Never give up. Be diligent.

34. Never intentionally hurt peoples feelings.

35. Remember that people are more important than things.

36. Be honest and truthful. Doing what is right is never wrong!

37. Be hospitable. Open your home to others.

38. Be benevolent. Help those less fortunate. Be willing to share anything you have. Be compassionate.

39. Focus on the eternal, not the temporary.

40. Dont be afraid to be different.

41. All you need is love; love your neighbor as yourself.

42. Be gentle.

43. Never forget what Jesus did, is doing, and will do for you.

44. Be merciful and forgiving.

45. Be humble.

46. Have the heart of a servant; think like one; act like one. Dont serve only when asked.

47. Be mindful of Gods creation and respect it.

48. Guard your mind. Think pure thoughts.

49. Check all beliefs and principles against the Bible.

50. If you cant say something nice, dont say anything at all. Dont gossip. If you wouldnt say it to a persons face, dont say it at all.

51. Accept criticism and correction graciously, and use them to your advantage.

52. Handle guilt; dont let it handle you.

53. Dont be afraid to admit you are wrong.

54. Say you are sorry first.

55. Dont worry. Dont be anxious.

56. Dont keep records of wrong.

57. Let Jesus be your example. Be known as a follower of Christ. Be like Him. Always ask, What would Jesus do?

58. Pass this legacy on to your children and your childrens children.

I want to talk a little here to grandparents who are raising their grandchildren. Bless your heart if you are one of these amazing grandparents. The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy said that there are approximately 2.4 million grandparents raising 4.5 million children. This is a staggering statistic and one that brings me sadness as I consider all the reasons children might be living with their grandparents instead of their moms and dads. Other statistics point to the many challenges both the children and the grandparents in this situation face. One factor is the difficulty that grandparents face in stepping back and thinking like parents again instead of grandparents. After all, grandparents are supposed to have all the joy but not much responsibility, right? Were supposed to be able to send them home. But if you find yourself in the drivers seat again, you cant send them home. You are in charge, and basically, it can stink on many levels.

If you have been given this challenge, its probably because there are no other solutions. If thats the case, you have no choice but to rise up and be thankful you are there for your grandchildren. I recently met a couple who accepted the challenge and took in their twelve-year-old grandson after a bitter divorce. There were three children in this family, but this one was struggling the most. He was angry and defiant. This wasnt going to be an easy job. Still, these wonderful grandparents put aside their vision of dream retirementtraveling in a motor home to see their childrenin order to stay home and parent a sad, belligerent middle schooler. They both beamed as they proudly told me he is graduating from high school this year with straight As and they are busy looking at colleges for him to attend. The grandpa said, It was the best decision we ever made. We know we changed this boys life. The life in the motor home would have been fun; this life made a difference.

One of my dearest friends found herself in this situation when her grandchildren were ten and eleven years old. All other means of intervention had not worked, and her grandchildren were in a very bad, even dangerous, situation. After much prayer and conversation, the children were taken from their home and placed with their grandparents. Raising two children when the luxury of an empty home and quiet nights was part of their lives wasnt easy, glamorous, or even fun on many days, but it was necessary. My friend and her husband did what they never dreamed they would have to do to invest in their grandkids. They eventually adopted both children, who are now in college, well adjusted, and forever thankful for the role their grandparents played in their lives.