Table of Contents
Also by Caroline Fertleman, MD, and Simone Cave
Potty Training Boys the Easy Way
We dedicate this book to our daughters,
Natalie and Betsy.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
With thanks to Paul Johnson, Judy Cave, and Barbara Levy
Introduction
Little girls are known to be sensible, mature, and generally more advanced than little boys the same age. This is because their brains actually develop earlier than boys. Boys tend to use just the left-hand side of the brain, which thinks analytically. Girls use both the left-hand side and the creative right-hand side at the same time because the neural pathway between the left and right side is more efficient. This is why girls generally develop language skills earlier, and this difference continues until the age of five, when boys catch up. If this sounds like your daughter, it certainly bodes well for potty training. With a bit of encouragement from you, she should leave her diapers behind with a minimum of fuss and puddles.
Unfortunately, things dont always go by the book. Life can get in the way of the most carefully laid plans. Its well known, for instance, that stressful events such as a new sibling or a move to a new house can have a big impact on potty training. Also, although you hear fewer problems about girls learning to use the potty, all children are different; just because your child is female, it doesnt guarantee she will be mature and sensible. Plenty of little girls are boisterous, slower to mature, and struggle to concentrate.
Weve taken all this into account and have written this book to guide you gently through the process of potty training, whatever your situation. Our flexible approach makes the transition from diapers to the toilet smooth, stress free, and fun for all little girls. If you hit a stumbling block, well show you step by step how to deal with the problem. By following our potty-training program, your daughter will learn to use the potty in just a couple of weeksor, if youre particularly lucky, even sooner.
It tends to be Mom who potty trains her daughter, but anyone caring for your little girl can use this book. Weve included a special section for dadsits not always easy for fathers to take their young daughters to the bathroom, so weve given lots of tips.
What Age Should She Begin?
This is the million-dollar question. In the United States, the average age for little girls is around two and a quarter (two and a half for boys). As all children are different, your daughter may not be ready to potty train until she is oldersometimes nearer her third birthday than her second. She may, however, be ready from as young as eighteen months. Theres nothing you can do to change the age at which she develops and becomes readythis is a function of nature. What you can do is observe her carefully and spot the signs that shes ready to begin (see Chapter 1).
Getting the timing right is key to successful potty training. If you push your daughter too early, shell probably take longer to learn and may even have to go back into diapers for a few weeks. A US study published in the journal Pediatrics found that training before the age of twenty-seven months nearly always takes longer than training a child after this age.
Dont be in too much of a rushits not a competition. Your daughter wont turn around in twenty years and thank you for the fact that she was out of diapers three months earlier than her best friend. On the other hand, she may well have something to say about the fact that you pushed her into using the potty too soon and she ended up getting stressed and frustrated, still wetting herself at the age of five.
Be patient, wait until your daughter is ready, and the process will be swift with no tears.
Our Method
Our method consists of having potty-training sessions, beginning with just an hour a day without a diaper and gradually building up until your daughter never wears a diaper at home during the day. The next stage is to leave the house without a diaper (see Chapter 6).
Its a very gentle approach that can be fitted around a busy schedule, even if you work full-time or have other children. You dont have to do a session every dayour method will work if you just manage weekends and perhaps a couple of sessions during the week at bath time. Unlike more intensive methods that take an all-or-nothing approach, theres no need to take a week off work and cancel social engagements while you spend time locked indoors with your daughter, mopping up accidents. Our much more laid-back approach allows potty training to fit around your family and situation.
Bottom, Urethra, or Private Parts?
Choosing a name for girls private parts is never easy. Youll need to think of something by the time your daughter is about one because this is the age shell probably start playing with herself on the changing table. Theres no need to stop her doing this because its entirely normalits natural, inquisitive behavior. She is just exploring in the same way that she may also have discovered and played with her toes, hair, or belly button. Its a good opportunity to begin teaching her the name of her different body parts.
While urethra is the anatomically correct name for the opening from which urine comes, most little girls wont use this term. Another downside of getting too technical is that you could find yourself having to refer to the vagina, labia, and perineum. This would result in a lot of complicated names for a young child to learn, and even if she manages, chances are few other people will understand what shes talking aboutparticularly her peers.
Try to think of something easy to understand that your daughter will be comfortable saying at school. Its also got to be appropriate to say in front of your pediatrician, as well as other family members. Weve found that private parts is a good choice.
Other choices that work include bottom or fannyagain, simple but accurate descriptions. Weve also heard all sorts of other nicknames, including twinkle and minkie, which are fine to use if this is what your family is comfortable with. However, do give your daughter an alternative name for when she starts preschool so that she wont risk being teased.
You may also decide to call urine and feces pee and poopas we have done in this book. Everyone understands these terms, including teachers, doctors, and children.
Is She Ready?
If you try to coax your daughter out of diapers before shes ready, you may run into problems. As weve said before, the average age for little girls to come out of diapers is about two and a quarter, but how do you know if your daughter is going to be one of the early ones or if she needs to wait a bit longer? Well, there are lots of signs to watch out for that indicate she is both physically and mentally ready. If you monitor your daughter closely and get the timing right, youll find that potty training takes only a couple of weeks with very few accidents.
Although its known that girls are easier to train than boys, the downside of this is that it puts more pressure on them to come out of diapers earlier. So its particularly important with girls to ignore competitive friends and family who tell you when they think your daughter should start using the potty. The very best person to decide when the time is right is you.
