Haskvitz - Eat by Choice, Not by Habit: Practical Skills for Creating a Healthy Relationship with Your Body and Food

Eat by Choice, Not by Habit:

Practical Skills for Creating a Healthy Relationship

With Your Body and Food

2005 PuddleDancer Press

A PuddleDancer Press Book

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other mechanical or electronic methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except for use as brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses as permitted by copyright law. To request permission, contact the publisher at the following address, Attention: Permissions Coordinator.

PuddleDancer Press, Permissions Dept.

2240 Encinitas Blvd., Ste. D-911, Encinitas, CA 92024

Tel: 1-760-652-5754 Fax: 1-760-274-6400

Ordering Information

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Fax: 312-337-5985; Email: or visit

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about ordering online

Author: Sylvia Haskvitz, M.A., R.D.

Manuscript Development: Jan Henrikson

Editor: Dan Shenk, CopyProof,

Index: Phyllis Linn, Indexpress

Cover and Interior Design: Lightbourne, Inc., www.lightbourne.com

Cover Photograph: Big Cheese Photo /www.fotosearch.com

Manufactured in the United States of America

1st Printing, October, 2005

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3

ISBN: 978-1-892005-20-5

Gratitude is when memory is stored in the heart and not in the mind.

SAM N. HAMPTON

A fter writing and rewriting this book with deadlines, urgency, and passion, Ive come to understand the meaning of acknowledgment and gratitude in a whole new way. I was always a bit surprised and confused when I read acknowledgments by an author of a book. How many people does it take to write a book anyway? I might as well ask: How many people are involved when we buy a loaf of bread? The farmers raise the wheat. The bakers bake the bread. The suppliers bring bread to the stores. The people at the grocery stores make it possible for us to have food. It sounds like a childs fairy tale, but its true. It does take a village.

I want to celebrate my villageall the players who collaborated on this project with me. This process has been yet another reminder of how deeply connected we all are.

I would like to offer gratitude to Jan Henrikson, whose tireless hours of meeting, emailing, editing, rewriting, coaching, and encouraging made this whole project a meaningful delight. When I would spout hysteria about feeling overwhelmed or about my fears of having nothing to say, Jan would calm my inner critic and offer reassurance of the value of this project. Jans connection to the topic and her fluency in Nonviolent Communication (NVC) were dream gifts in allowing this project to unfold in a precious, even delicious, way. Thanks also to her mother, Lois Henrikson, who generously provided her proofreading expertise and sadly passed away before the book was released, though not before the editing was done.

To Linda Prout, my friend, food buddy, and colleague, I was graced with your presence for a few days when you graciously offered to edit the first half of the bookespecially Sylvias Soapbox. Lindas interest in and knowledge of anything related to nutrition fascinates and astounds me.

To my partner, Tim Lewis, deepest gratitude to you for enduring countless stirrings in the middle of the night while I raced to my office to capture my thoughts on paper before they escaped. I enjoyed your support of my work and your musings about your own experimentation with food and its impact. Thanks for always being a willing partner in taste-testing my latest concoctions.

To Mark Schultz, Katy Byrne, Elin Rydahl, Mary Mackenzie, Marie Miyashiro, and everyone else who shared their stories, asked questions, made comments, offered their support, friendship and excitement, I send waves of gratitude and acknowledgment.

To Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D., founder of Nonviolent Communication, I am eternally grateful. You brought to life the consciousness and language I was searching for from age fifteen. To Kim Alison, my mentor and the one who I witnessed living the process in her everyday life, you were an inspiration for my own growth. I send special thanks to my dear friends, Bonnie Karlen, Lori Weinberg White, and Sedona Sunrise, who embody the meaning of friendship to me. And to my parents, Marvin and Dorothy Haskvitz, and sisters, Bonnie Belkin and Esther Haskvitz, from whom I developed my special connection with food and learned the role food plays in family, community, and health. If you were not named and know of your contributions to me, please include yourself in the acknowledgements with my gratitude.

Thank you!

I am thrilled and deeply thankful to be playing in my field of passion. I look forward to meeting you in the field of compassion!

CATHY HARTMAN

A s a registered dietitian and trainer in Compassionate/Nonviolent Communication, Ive been asked every imaginable food and behavior-related question. Since I couldnt answer every question in one book, I turned to friends, neighbors, colleagues, the clerk at the grocery store, and others for what they most wanted to know about changing eating habits with compassion. What simpler way to experience this process of discovery than through a series of questions and responsesa dialogueas Neill Gibson, a consultant for PuddleDancer Press, suggested.

Jan Henrikson, a freelance writer, editor, creativity coach, pet-sitter, and former NVC yearlong course participant, agreed to play the role of interviewer. She asked the selected questions. I answered spontaneously (for the most part). Two Basenjis and a Rhodesian ridgeback quietly cheered us on, as the interview took place at one of Jans dog-sitting gigs. This was sheer joy to me. Had Zera, my golden retriever and constant companion of thirteen years, not died recently, she would have been cheering us on, too. Maybe she sent me to these dogs instead!

While Jan transcribed the interview, adding generous helpings of rewording and editing, I ruminated during the night to bring her additions in the morning. We took turns stirring the words until we created something we hope youll find flavorful and nourishing.

Now its your turn. Focus on the questions that pique your curiosity, read them in order, or let the book fall open to just the right page. The point is: This is your journey now.

Bon apptit!

Face your stuff or stuff your face.

ANONYMOUS

M any of us are habitually at war with our bodies, treating them in ways we would not want to be treated or in ways we would never consider treating anyone else. We think were meeting our needs by either satisfying our food cravings or bullying ourselves into denying them. In a dieting frenzy, we jump off and on the latest fad diets without ever stopping to discover what our real needs are. But we can feel something is missing. Chronically dissatisfied, we turn to the latest doctor, diet guru, tennis partner, or magazine article to tell us what to do.