Reynolds - Party Planning for Children and Teens on the Autism Spectrum: How to Avoid Meltdowns and Have Fun!

I often quote Tom Lehrers line, sliding down the razor blade of life thats what Im doing, and I wish Id worn reinforced trousers! I didnt. So this section is to thank those whove thrown in some verbal padding, the odd practical cushion and an occasional rhinos hide to deflect the blade.

My daughter, Francesca, heads the list for being my companion through the joys of her brothers autism I include his full-body cleaning of local streets (otherwise known as meltdowns), jumping in a river and igniting a small house fire.

Where would I be without my parents? Probably in a far less grammatically correct personal world, so thanks to Sandra and Peter Reynolds. Oh! And thanks for the love and support as well.

As the youngest of five children, I could fill the entire acknowledgements with my siblings alone. Shirleys searing wit lifts me. Davids intellect, pranks and love of the daft make life fun even when its tough. Graemes dry humour and ability to answer even the most obscure of general knowledge questions keep me buoyant and informed! Lesleys listening ear, empathy and forthright opinions make her my confidante shes also pretty witty.

The late Joyce Watson, my childrens grandma, was adoring of my daughter and consistently optimistic about my son something for which Ill always be grateful.

Thanks to my Uncle Gordon and Auntie Anne McLellan who actively supported my efforts to get published this may not be a literary masterpiece but I got there in the end.

We all do things in life that we regret and only sometimes have the opportunity to remedy our actions I thank Anne Fligelstone (ne Middleton) for allowing me to do this.

Being a single parent to two children with additional needs and having no local family has been a strain. I particularly want to thank Sharon Butler, my friend and neighbour, for her consistent help, donated furniture and strength to carry my daughter into the house with me!

Lee Wiltshire has provided my family with technical support resurrecting numerous computers that died, several phones my son has drowned and accessing a huge document Id inadvertently lost, in the nick of time for a deadline.

My friend, Anne Callahan, has wholeheartedly accepted my son an attitude that can be scarce.

Angela Gabriel has made me laugh with her anecdotes, which, surely, should be the subject of her own book.

Several professionals have prevented my careering into an abyss:

Sue Turville, Speech and Language Therapist, who enabled my son to be diagnosed early

my family doctor, Christine Voss of Rowden Surgery, Chippenham

Jo Burton, Amanda Sperritt and David Sperritt, who run North Wilts Holiday Club on a shoestring and provide much-needed respite for caregivers

youth workers who run Young Carers, for their support of my daughter, Francesca

Jean Groves, who is Judes caregiver

my sons social worker, Lisa Moore

Miranda and the late Bob Sidwick, Donna Blackey, Sam MacInnes, Rachel Crowder, Hannah White and the many dedicated staff at The Manor School in Melksham, Wiltshire.

Rosalie Allen used Son-Rise techniques to enable my son to produce his first approximations of words aged five years. (Son-Rise is a play-based programme that focuses on developing a relationship with the child, primarily by joining with them and experiencing their world. It acknowledges the purpose and meaning of repetitive behaviours.) She also peer reviewed this book thank you.

Vicki Hocquard reviewed my sample chapter and Vicki Wells, who tirelessly fundraises for children with autism at my sons school, peer reviewed my manuscript.

Jacqui Thomas gave me the benefit of her writing experience when it felt like I was trying to squeeze a giant squid into a purse in the final stages of writing the manuscript.

My Bath nursing friends have seen the very worst and the best of me and theyre still around. So thank you to Maggie Ade, Jane Brooke, Sarah Davies, Rachel Howell, Carrie Norton, Vinny Ringrose, Cathy Roberts, Mandy Sharp and the late Cath Scanlon, whose incisive sense of humour will stay in my memory.

In the words of radio phone-in guests, Ill say thanks to anyone else who knows me!

Kate E. Reynolds

December 2011

Introduction

The background

I stepped into the world of autism six years ago when my three-year-old son was diagnosed as being on the spectrum a phrase that meant nothing to me at the time. The A word (autism) was described as classic and the doctor assured me Jude would be in an institution within a year. He might as well have told me it was a terminal condition, the impact was that great.

Support from professionals was minimal, negative or vague, as if no one felt able to commit to giving advice or daring to suggest how or if my son might improve. I was left feeling utterly alone with my only friend, in terms of information, being the internet.

Autism support sites, and the helplines of the major charities (such as, in the UK, the National Autistic Society), seem to be a main forum for learning about autism spectrum disorders (ASDs), therapies and how medical and educational services relate to each other (see Chapter 12). One of the most lively and challenging debates for parents/caregivers is parties events that once brought fun or enjoyment, now dreaded and anxiety-ridden.

This book is designed to answer some of those questions and help parents/caregivers use parties and social gatherings to the benefit of their autistic kids. ASDs affect individuals in different ways theres no set pattern. The challenges of children with Asperger syndrome are vastly removed from those whose ASD accompanies complex physical issues, for example. Of course, every child has their own personality, so there is no single presentation of ASDs.