McDowell - The father connection how you can make the difference in your childs self-esteem and sense of purpose

Dear Dad,

It is an honor and privilege to be writing you this letter. I am overwhelmed with appreciation for the way you love Mom, my siblings, and me. You always make me feel important. I cherish so many childhood memories of spending time together, such as playing with water balloons, jumping on beds, styling your hair, and going out for hot chocolate with ice cream in it. The way you consistently treated Mom with respect, spoke openly with me about sexual purity, and the dates you took me on as a teenager have imprinted on my mind how I want a man to treat me and has given me a healthy view of marriage. I pray that I will marry someone with your compassion and integrity.

I will be forever grateful for the way you demonstrated to me that my value comes from being created in the image of God. Knowing that I have inherent value helped me growing up to have the freedom to try new things and to fail without feeling like a failure. Thank you for giving me the tools to make right choices but loving me unconditionally when I make mistakes. You have modeled what it's like to admit mistakes and to seek forgiveness when needed, along with allowing others to make mistakes and being quick to forgive without resentment.

The time you spent with me while I was growing up showed me that you valued being my dad. The unconditional love you give me has allowed me to feel secure and be able to love others. I appreciate you so much and will always treasure the long talks and lots of laughter. You taught me to love God, care for others, and embrace life while living it to the fullest. I know this book will motivate other fathers to invest time in their kids and will give them the tools they need to empower their children to make right choices. I am so proud of you and grateful that you are my dad.

Love, Kelly

Dear Dad,

Even though I have heard you speak on parenting many timesand, of course, have been one of your personal subjects!reading this book was a real eye-opener for me. Now that I am a dad, I find myself thinking, How did my parents handle this? What would my dad do in this situation? My heartfelt prayer is that God would enable me to be as good a father to my kids as you have been to Kelly, Katie, Heather, and me.

People often ask me what it's like to be the son of Josh McDowell. To the surprise of some, that's not the primary lens through which I see youas your son. My first thought of you is as my fatherthe man who loves my mom, who sacrificed greatly to be at my basketball games, who overcame incredible challenges from his childhood, who said he was sorry when he was wrong, who laughs and enjoys life, and who boldly stands up for what he believes. For these reasons, I am proud to call you my dad.

One of the important points you give in this book is how critical it is to build memories with your kids. As I think back on my childhood, I am amazed at how many incredible memories you built for us as a family.

I remember many fun times, such as eating popcorn in the Jacuzzi, going on double dates, sleeping under a tarp in the rain in Kauai, and going to the Final Four. Yet I also remember when we brought a Christmas tree and some small gifts to Terry, since she had no family that cared for her. Seeing her cry and feeling the joy of giving will be forever etched in my memory.

You've had some amazing accomplishments in your life, Dad. But to me, the most impressive accomplishment is that you've been a father who truly connects with his kids. You don't just write about fathering. You live it. I love you!

Your best (male) friend,
Sean

Dear Dad,

I'll never forget the day you came to pick me up at my elementary school in a horse-drawn carriage to take my friends and me out for banana splits. I remember riding in the carriage through our small town, feeling unique and special. I have so many great memories of moments when you went out of your way to communicate your love and acceptance to me. I have always known that you love me and are proud of me.

I am often amazed at the way you relate with our family. Kelly, Sean, Heather and I have a far different relationship with you than you did with your father. In the first chapter of this book, you write:

As a child, I never knew a father's love. I never benefited from a father's example. I can't remember a single time when my father took me somewhere alone and spent time with me. I can't remember feeling proud of my father, or imitating him.

It is painful for me to read those words because I know the deep hurt you have experienced as a result of your broken family, especially in your relationship with your father. But as I read these words I also rejoice. I rejoice in God's grace that he has shown me through you. It is because of this grace that I can say:

As a child, I always knew a father's love. I consistently benefited from a father's example. I remember many times when my father took me somewhere alone and spent time with me. I am proud of my father, and I hope to imitate him in my parenting.

Dad, I am so thankful for the many times you went out of your way to communicate your love and acceptance to me. Your unconditional love for me has given me the freedom to live without fear of failure. I live each day knowing that I am loved and accepted, a blessing I do not take for granted.

I am so proud of you. I love you, and I love being your daughter.

Love, Katie

Dear Dad,

I've been thinking through our life together, and there are two very distinct things you have said to me over the years that have played a huge part in the amazing relationship we have as Daddy and daughter.

You once told me that I could sit in your lap anytime, anywhere. At the age of nine, and now at the age of twenty-one, you have held onto and been faithful to that promise. But those many years ago, it was much more than reserved seating; it was the foundational promise that my dad would always be there for me anytime, that no matter where he was, no matter who he was speaking to, he was my dad. While I'm sure you didn't expect me to be twenty-one and still needing to sit on my dad's lap, there is something in me that has always needed you. I love you so deeply, and I know that God intended you to be my dad long before I became a McDowell.

The second one is this: Do you remember when I was about thirteen, and I asked you what you would do if I got pregnant? At the time, I thought that this would be the most terrifying mistake I could ever make. But you responded so quickly and confidently. You said that you would love me no matter what happened, and that in any circumstance we would work it out together, because that's what daddys are for.

Over the years, I have called you upset about school and boys, broken cars and papers, rental house issues and roommates, and with each call you have been eager to give wisdom and love to mebecause that's what my daddy is for.

I love you so much and am thankful that God picked you to be my dad.

Love, Heather

CHAPTER 1

More than thirty years ago, I held my firstborn child in my arms.

I vividly remember the thoughts and emotions that washed over me at that time. I looked down into the face of my newborn daughter, Kelly, wrapped in a soft yellow blanket. I counted her fingers and marvelled at the completeness and intricacy of her tiny form. She was helpless. She was priceless. And she was mine.