Bodé Aboderin - Fatherhood by Papa B: A Game-Changing Guide for Parents, Father Figures and Fathers-To-Be
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- Book:Fatherhood by Papa B: A Game-Changing Guide for Parents, Father Figures and Fathers-To-Be
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Fatherhood by Papa B: A Game-Changing Guide for Parents, Father Figures and Fathers-To-Be: summary, description and annotation
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A relatable and game-changing guide for parents that redefines what it means to be a present-day father.
Father of three, Motivational Speaker and Influencer Bod Aboderin (A.K.A. Papa B) is on a mission to show the world that Black fatherhood is not only compatible with ambition, but can inspire, nourish and amplify it too.
Eradicating the negative stereotypes associated with being a Black dad in Britain, Papa B is using his natural flair for motivational speech to share the joyful and transformative journey of starting a family, including the challenges involved and the opportunities to grow along the way. In this passionate parenting book for dads, Bod reflects on how his own upbringing, alongside stigmas about fatherhood, race, and masculinity, have impacted his experiences of being a father, whilst talking candidly about how to overcome the challenges commonly experienced by parents - from breaking generational cycles and adapting to modern-day family dynamics to communicating with your child and achieving a healthy work-life balance.
Explore the pages of this parenting guide to discover:
- 10 chapters that discuss what it means to be a father in the present day
- A specific focus on shifting the narrative away from stigmas and stereotypes about fatherhood, race, and masculinity.
Fatherhood by Papa B addresses fatherhood in such a way that is hard-working and practical, yet incredibly down-to-earth. According to a recent study conducted by the BBC, whilst half of parents are fathers, 99% of the research on parenting focuses on mothers. This brilliant book for dads is working to even the balance as studies have demonstrated that supportive father-child relationships matter just as much as mother-child relationships for childrens well-being and development.
A must-have volume for all parents, father figures and fathers-to-be, Fatherhood by Papa B is set out to teach what studies have revealed, in the sense that involved fatherhood can also improve a mans cognitive skills, health and capacity for empathy, whilst building confidence, self-esteem and enhancing emotional regulation and expression. This brilliant book looks at how a fathers own upbringing and well-being can impact and revolutionize the relationship with their child.
Bodé Aboderin: author's other books
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TO MY CHILDREN
RENAE, ESM-OLIVIA & RICHARD-JUNIOR
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Im meant to start this book by telling you who I am, but thats a really open question. What does that mean? I feel like Im in therapy and as much as youll find out that I am a fan of therapy, its also not my first instinct to bare all so easily. But Im Bod. Im a father of three Renae whos thirteen, Esm whos eight, and RJ whos three and husband to Candice, business owner. Im well into cars, I like to play a bit of golf in my spare time, and I dabble in a bit of venture capitalism. Im a boring geezer really, but this actually works in my favour when it comes to this book because, well, Im like everyone else.
My life experiences may differ slightly from yours in the details, but I think youll find theyre relatable. Hopefully that makes the different stages Ive gone through deconstructing and reconstructing myself and my ideas about fatherhood, family, and masculinity accessible to you too.
When I moved to the UK from Nigeria in 2003 for university, it was an absolute culture shock. I saw things Id always longed for growing up in Nigeria, but did not know how to express at the time. I saw a balanced family set-up that I wished was practised back home. Accepting this was difficult at first, I must admit, but that is what this book is about: it is about my journey from boyhood to manhood and then fatherhood. How I transitioned from one to the next, and how I realised that what I felt back then the unease that came from my dads expectations versus my desire to live differently was real and valid.
In all honesty, Im not coming here to preach, expecting you to listen and follow everything I say or have done. Im just hoping youll relate. I believe weve all got things to share with the world, no matter how boring we may be, so maybe theres something you can learn from me and my mistakes.
I wanted to write this book to dispel myths. There are loads of myths and beliefs that, in the grand scheme of things, when you deconstruct them, are a load of crap. There is all this stuff that was constructed to protect the male ego, further promote the patriarchy, and protect the status quo as a whole.
My goal is for people for men most especially to read this book and start to question their beliefs, or what theyve been taught to believe. I want you to look closely at these ideas and question them. Im not expecting you to finish this book and be completely changed or be more like me, but I just want to get you thinking, to get your thought process started, to look at things another way.
Because things can always change for the better.
So now Im going to ask you a question.
Who are you?
What do you believe about fatherhood and masculinity, and why do you believe it? Think deeply about this. A lot of the time, when we really begin to think on these things, many of us realise that somethings not working how wed like it to.
This is my journey. This is what I realised. This is what wasnt working for me. And this is how I changed it.
I want this book to be thought-provoking, sure. I want it to encourage you to think about parenting in a different way. But I also want it to be helpful. Its not just about the ideas but about the steps big and small you can take to make real changes to your mindset, and to your life. Each chapter ends with some practical ideas quick tips, questions to ask yourself, or ideas of things you can do with your kids that I hope will help you feel confident to start making a change.
Take from it what you will, but spoiler alert I will unapologetically tell you that the concept of the alpha male and all the toxic masculinity associated with it helps no one not you, your partner, your children, your family, or society as a whole. Dont believe me? Dont worry, well get into it later, but first, a bit more about me and where I come from
LOOK AT THINGS ANOTHER WAY
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Those who forget their past are destined to repeat it.
Robert A Heinlein
I was born and raised for half of my life in Lagos, Nigeria. Lagos is the largest city and former capital of Nigeria and the largest megacity on the African continent in terms of population (estimated at 14.3 million people).
Lagos is a city where people come from neighbouring towns and villages to chase a dream, to find work, to make something of themselves, and to provide the means to build something back home home meaning whatever town or state they are originally from. In my case, I trace my roots back to Ibadan, the most populous city in Oyo State, about a two-and-a-half-hour drive from Lagos.
Ibadan is a city with a rich history. It was originally a military base for Yoruba warriors in the 1800s but grew into a bustling trade centre and an important transit point within Nigeria. It is home to many firsts: the first TV station in the whole of Africa opened there in 1959 and Nigerias oldest surviving newspaper, the Nigerian Tribune , is also published there. Nigerias first skyscraper Cocoa House is located there, as is Nigerias first university, now known as the University of Ibadan.
My father has always been quite proud of where our family is from. The Aboderin name is a pretty well-known name in Ibadan, in Nigeria and beyond, and this is largely due to the success of many of the familys sons and daughters, and also quite a few historical events that I didnt care enough to know as a youngster.
One of the historical events to note began with a late, well-known first cousin once removed of mine, Chief James Olubunmi Aboderin. He studied history in the mid-fifties at North Western Polytechnic in the UK, a precursor to London Metropolitan University. While in the city, he took the Institute of Chartered Accountants exam and was admitted in May 1964. He later went on to start one of the most successful newspaper houses in Nigeria, the widely read Punch newspaper, which still remains in circulation today. Olu Aboderin was instrumental in my fathers upbringing. He was Dads older cousin, and he even paid for Dads education in the UK, where he studied from 19771980. Afterwards, Dad returned to Nigeria to take on the job of marketing and advertising manager at Punch . My mother was the newspapers librarian and they met and got married in 1981, and I was born four years later.
The Aboderin family is what some might class as elite. The English translation of the Aboderin name is we walk with the hunters, and our family has always had an entrepreneurial spirit that is present to this day. Your family name can take you really far in Nigeria, and sometimes further in the world, and I have lost count of how many times the mention of my name has opened doors for me. I dont share this to boast, but to explain why, as a child, there was a huge focus on how I behaved outside of the home and I always felt a heavy weight in terms of trying not to bring shame to the family name. I still remember Dad saying over and over, Remember the son of whom you are!
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