Magda Gerber - Dear Parent Caring For Infants With Respect Expanded Edition

ABOUT EDUCARING, THE RIE APPROACH

Infant specialist MAGDA GERBER says:

If we could observe and see infants as completely competent for the stage at which they are, we would learn from and about them, rather than teach them. Being around infants reminds us how to, be real, genuine, authentic.

When we help a child feel secure, feel appreciated, feel that somebody is deeply, truly interested in me, by the way we just look, the way we just listen, we influence a childs whole personality, the way that child sees life.

A CENTER DIRECTOR says:

As a manager, I have been able to incorporate RIEs principles into our infant/toddler program and also into my own management style. Our center has been successful in developing teams that work together and feel appreciated by their peers.

PARENTS say:

RIE is not dogmatic; it is as flexible as each persons own inner voice. Theres nothing to buy; its a matter of seeing and hearing whats right before our eyes.

RIE has a commonsense simplicity that allows everyone in the family to be heard and respected.

RIE has strengthened our ability to learn directly from our daughter about her needs, interests and competencies.

A CAREGIVER says:

RIE helped me to support parents and their infants by relaxing, trusting, and tuning in to the needs of the infant and the concerns of the parent. It helped me respect myself and accept that this work is a lifelong process of awareness and reflection.

A PARENT-INFANT TEACHER says:

My work has become easier, more interesting, and more satisfying.

DEAR PARENTCARING FOR INFANTS WITH RESPECT

Expanded Edition

by Magda Gerber, edited by Joan Weaver

Additional chapters on Family Child Care and Center-Based Care

Published by:

Resources for Infant Educarers (RIE)

1550 Murray Circle

Los Angeles, CA 90026

(323) 663-5330, FAX (323) 663-5586

website:

Copyright 1998, 2002 by Magda Gerber

Publication coordinated by Ruth R. Money,

with Elizabeth Memel, Carol Pinto, and Bill Josephs.

Photos by Karen Ziskin.

Cover Design by Kristen Dietrick.

Additional Chapter 48 by Ruth R. Money, Chapter 49 by Catherine Coughlan.

Additional photos by Denise Kelton (pages 4 & 32), Melody Lawrence (pages 14 & 48), Jung Sun Wohn (page 89), Jude Keith Rose (page 122), Daisy Gerber (pages 128 & 202), Jody Perlman (page 150), Nina Arthur (pages 192, 201, 211 & 212); unknown photographer (inside front cover).

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form without the prior written permission of the publisher, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review.

Printed in the United States of America on acid-free paper.

Cataloging-in-Publication Data provided by Publisher
Gerber, Magda

Dear parent: caring for infants with respect / [written by] Magda Gerber; edited by Joan Weaver. Expanded ed., 2nd ed. Los Angeles, CA: Resources for Infant Educarers (RIE), 2002.

xviii, 223 p.: ill.; 23 cm.

Title from spine: Caring for infants with respect.

Includes two new chapters: A brief visit to a RIE infant center by Ruth R. Money; RIE in a family child care home by Catherine Coughlan.

Includes index.

ISBN 10: 1-892560-06-2 ISBN 13: 978-1-892560-06-3

1. Infants Care. 2. Parenting. 3. Child care. 4. Child rearing. 5. Caregivers Training of. 6. Day care centers. 7. Family day care. I. Money, Ruth R. II. Coughlan, Catherine. III. Weaver, Joan. IV Resources for Infant Educarers (RIE). V. RIE. VI. Title. VII. Title: Caring for infants with respect.

HQ744.G47 2002

649.122dc21

To the worldwide RIE and Pikler communities, supporting wellness from the very beginning of life,

and

to parents and professionals everywhere, may you be guided and inspired by the infants in your care.

Although the ideas in this book have worked for many families, not all suggestions may be suitable for you and your child. The author and publisher advise you to use your common sense and your intimate knowledge of your own child. We cannot be held responsible for the misuse of any information in this book.

Contents

Preface to the
Second Edition

T HIS EDITION HAS BEEN EXPANDED to include two new chapters on using RIE principles to care for infants in group settings. Although the situation in an infant day care center or family day care home is different from that within the family, the philosophy and even the methods are the same: each infant is given personalized, one-to-one care.

In the main chapters of the book, Magda Gerber explains in great detail how to care for an infant respectfully, focusing on the establishment of an authentic, trusting relationship between the adult and infant. This interaction between mother and baby, based on observation and reciprocal responsiveness, is the model for others who want to provide respectful one-to-one care for infants in groups. Respectful relationships among caregivers, parents, and administrators are also integral to the success of a child care center. Four chapters of the Appendix address the topic of caring for infants in various group settings.

When the idea of individual care in a group situation is proposed, the question is often asked, What do you do when all four infants are crying to be fed at the same time? This book shows infants in group care settings enjoying individual care rather than assembly-line treatment. It shows infants adjusting to a predictable rhythm where the infants know that they will each have an unhurried turn when their physical needs will be met by feeding, changing, or holding; and their emotional needs will be met by the Educarers individualized quality of attention.

As more and more mothers with young children have entered the work force in recent years, RIE has been actively dedicated to improving the quality of infant care in centers and other settings. This effort has been spurred on by research showing that secure attachment to one person is good, but to two is better, and by another study of infants in day care showing the importance of secure attachment to the other primary caregivers in addition to the parents. It is in the security of the relationship that the infant finds the freedom to develop optimally and to learn about the world.

The development of guidelines for putting RIE principles of Educaring into practice in infant care centers began with the founding of the first RIE demonstration infant care center in 1988. Other centers continue to use these guidelines today as part of RIEs accreditation process.

With the addition of these new chapters on group care and education, we hope that the book will open insights on how it is possible and practical to care for infants in an unhurried, one-to-one respectful way in a group setting. Caregivers who model and share this approach with parents can be a support to parents in their important job of establishing a lifelong relationship with their children starting in infancy.

RUTH R. MONEY

Acknowledgments
From the First Edition

F OR MANY DECADES, my work has focused on infants from birth until two years of age. Throughout my tenure as director of Resources for Infant Educarers, and previously with the Demonstration Infant Program, I have been surrounded by dedicated and hardworking volunteers. In the preparation of this book, I would like to thank:

All the parents who shared their experiences and those involved in publishing RIEs quarterly newsletter,