Mr. Ashiya - Congrats Dad!: A Guidebook For Expectant Fathers

CONGRATS DAD!

MR. ASHIYA

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Introduction

H ello, and let me be one of the first to congratulate you on your new status as an expectant father.

Not that you did much to get this newfound status, or will be doing any of the tougher tasks during the pregnancy. In fact, all you did to get here was have some sex.

That last sentence was not meant to take away any of the joy you should be feeling, but rather one of the strange emotional experiences you might be having at the moment. And I should know, as Ive been through this process twice now. Thats my main qualification for writing this book, in fact. Im not a doctor, nor a registered life coach, but just another dad. As such, you can expect many of my own adventures in becoming a father in this book.

I decided to write it because at the time there was nothing like it. Being readers, both my wife and I headed for the nearest bookstore after that pregnancy test came back positive. There was an entire shelf dedicated to her journey, but nothing for me. It was her idea to document my adventure(s) in fatherhood.

For now, back to your role in the pregnancy thus far. Im downplaying your role, because thats how I felt in the beginning, right after we started telling people. Id get handshakes, hugs, pats on the back and even presents, but I felt like a fraud. All I did was have sex with my wife, which seemed like an odd thing to be praised for.

To me, thats a common thing for a dad during a pregnancy. After the conception, theres not much for you to do. Your wife is going through the magical experience of creating life, and youre essentially benched for nine months.

That was my thought process during our first pregnancy, and I can tell you right now that its absolute rubbish. Theres no denying the fact that a woman does the brunt of the work when it comes to pregnancy, but you have a significant role to play as well. Both before and after.

Rid your mind of any notion that youre simply nothing more than a sperm factory. You might not feel that important at the start, but let me assure you that you have a lifetime of hard work ahead. At some point youll be looking back at these initial emotions and laugh at yourself.

Allow me to rather congratulate you on wanting to improve yourself in anticipation of the arrival. The very fact that you chose this book, and want to know more about what it takes to be a dad, makes you more qualified than most. You should be proud of the fact that youre already taking an interest in your child, even though your child is no bigger than a peanut. Thats worth a pat on the back. There are far too many fathers who simply have no interest in their children.

The National Fatherhood Initiative's statistics reveal how dire the situation is. According to their annual report, compiled from data received from the U.S Census Bureau, there are 19.7 million kids growing up without a father present. Thats more than one out of every four children in the U.S. In other countries around the world, the statistics are even worse.

There are numerous studies proving that life without a father figure can lead to psychological problems later in life. The fact that you are here, present, and ready to learn how to be a dad already makes you a fantastic father in my book. Youve already done so much more than just having sex.

For the record, thats the most depressing section of this book. From here on out, you can look forward to positive reinforcement, some first-hand advice, funny anecdotes and self-deprecating humor. Thats right, Im going to make fun of myself at certain points in this book, because Ive made some mistakes. You will too.

Before we move forward, Id like to share some of my favorite baby facts.

T he world record for the number of births from a single woman is 69 children. She was never named, however. Records from the Monastery of Nikolsk names her as a peasant woman from the village of Shaya in Russia. According to these records, she had seven sets of triplets, 16 sets of twins and four quadruplets. The record for the father with the most biological children belongs to Feodor Vissilyev, the above-mentioned peasant womans husband. After her death, he married another woman and had 18 more kids.

Even though these births are well-recorded, modern scientists arent convinced that this could have happened, and its impossible to investigate the lineage, since this supposedly happened in the late 1700s.

I include this fact to give you hope. Yes, a baby is extremely hard work, but whenever it feels overwhelming, think of Vissilyevs poor wife.

Lets move on to more modern times. According to the current figures, 255 babies are born every minute worldwide. On the flipside, only 107 people die every minute worldwide.

On average, children cant remember the first three years of their lives by the time theyre fully grown adults. The leading theory on why this happens is that as babies develop the ability to understand language, they start to build memories differently. The previous memories, built from nonverbal interactions, start to fade.

On the topic of memory, babies can remember the time they spent in the womb. New sounds tend to startle them, but they tend to remember the things they heard while growing. Thats why a baby often isnt startled by music, a dog barking or voices. For the record, babies find the moms voice the most soothing.

Babies can also develop self-awareness at a young age. The easiest way to test whether your baby is self-aware is to place a small sticker on their forehead. If they reach for the mirror, theyre not quite there yet, but if they touch the sticker on their forehead, they already possess some form of self-awareness.