Neil Sinclair - Commando Dad: New Recruits: A Guide to Pregnancy and Birth for Dads-to-Be

I would like to dedicate this book to my own unit.

To my wife, Tara: although our parenting adventures were always unplanned, theyre still brilliant because were having them together.

To Sam, Jude, and Liberty: I love you very much and hope that you use the lessons we learned together when you bring your own troopers into this world.

First published in the United States of America in 2015 by Chronicle Books LLC.
First published in the United Kingdom as Commando Dad: Raw Recruits in 2014
by Yellow Kite, an imprint of Hodder & Stoughton.

Text copyright 2014 by Neil Sinclair and Tara Sinclair.
Illustrations copyright 2014 by Matt Smith.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data available.

ISBN 978-1-4521-4552-5 (epub)

ISBN 978-1-4521-5798-6 (epub, mobi)

Designed by Ben Kither

The information in this book should not be treated as a substitute for qualified medical advice. Always consult a medical practitioner. Neither the author nor the publisher can be held responsible for any loss or claim arising out of the use, or misuse, of the suggestions made or the failure to take medical advice.

Chronicle Books LLC
680 Second Street
San Francisco, California 94107
www.chroniclebooks.com

I have written this book based on my own experiences. Where I reference the health and safety of your CO or your BTs, I have had the text reviewed and approved by health care professionals to ensure that the information is accurate and in line with current thinking and practice at the time of publication. However, the publisher, author, and experts disclaim any liability from any injury that may result from the use, proper or improper, of the information contained in this book. Guidance and guidelines on pregnancy and childbirth change constantly, and Commando Dad: New Recruits should not be considered a substitute for the advice of your health care professional or your own common sense.

Im an ex-Royal Engineer commando, and in my six years of service, I served 3 tours in Norway, a tour in the jungles of Belize, and 6 months in the mountains of Iraq as part of Operation Desert Storm. I cleared mines, tracked drug barons through the jungle, and skied across crevasse-riddled ice fields. But none of this prepared me for my most challenging mission: for the past 11 years I have been a stay-at-home dad to my three troopers: Sam, Jude, and Liberty.

I used all of my experiences to write a book for new dads called Commando Dad: A Basic Training Manual for the First Three Years of Fatherhood. Its a clear, concise manual offering straightforward advice on the practical skills needed to be an effective dad. Its the parenting equivalent of Basic Battle Skills, the no-nonsense field training guide issued to all soldiers in the British Army. It struck a chord with a lot of new dads. However, on the Commando Dad website forums there are a lot of dads-to-be looking for information and support, and this gave me the inspiration to write Commando Dad: New Recruits. This is the book I wish Id been issued with when I found out I was going to be a new dad. It will give you everything you need to know for the whole 266 days. And counting.

In todays society, dads are actively encouraged to bond with their babies while they are still in the womb and to be at the birth, acting as birth companions and offering support and encouragement to their partners throughout labor. But where do they get the skills to do this? Where do they have the opportunity to find out about what is going to happen to their partner and therefore how they can be most effective? How do they know what to expect when they see their partner in pain, or what to do when they bring their baby home from the hospital?

While there is an overwhelming amount of information on pregnancy and labor that can be accessed through books, forums, and the media, the majority is aimed at moms, or couples in general, not specifically at dads. As someone who works with fathers, I am continually aware of the need to make it relevant for them, to ensure that they are receiving the information that they need and that they have the opportunity to discuss the things that concern them.

I am therefore delighted that Commando Dad has used his winning formula of combining concise information, real-life experience, illustrations, and summaries to cover all the essential topics related to pregnancy, birth, and those first few weeks in this outstanding book. The number of subjects that he has managed to cover, and in such detail, ensures that this is one book no dad can afford to be without.

Those who work with dads know that if couples have the opportunity to make informed choices throughout pregnancy and during birth, they are better able to adjust to becoming parents. Commando Dad has provided all the essential information dads (and moms) need to make those choices.

Dads, I recommend you use the chapters in this book as the basis for discussions with your partner about the choices that are available to you as a couple: for example, where do you want your baby to be born? To deliberate over the types of pain management available and to know in advance of deployment day what your partner might wantor not want! To think and then discuss together how your lives are going to change as individuals and as a couple, and what you might feel on meeting your baby for the first time.

And with only 266 days to prepare for this life-changing experience, there is not a moment to lose. I recommend you start reading immediately!

New Recruits is simply the most essential toolkit for all dads-to-be, whether they are expecting their first or third baby.

Kate Bedding
BA (Hons), M.Res, PGDip, PGCE,
Diploma Postnatal Facilitation NCT,
Diploma Antenatal Education NCT,
PhD student (MidwiferyUCLAN)

TO ALL DADS-TO-BE (henceforth known as Commando Dads):

This book has been written for YOU.

When I first found out that I was going to be a dad, I felt a lot of emotions, the main one of which was definitely fear. We werent trying to start a familywe hadnt even been thinking about it. Id been married only 18 months. None of my friends were dads. Id never even held a baby. And yet in less than 266 days, I was going to be a dad.

Gentlemen, I dont use the word fear lightly. As a commando I experienced truly frightening situations. I soon realized that I didnt fear being a dadthat was now inevitablerather, I feared the unknown.

I wanted to get educated in the basics as fast as the situation demanded. I wanted to know what was going to physically happen to my wife (moms-to-be are henceforth known as COs or Commanding Officers); I wanted to know what I could do to help; I wanted to know the practicalities of pregnancyappointments and scans and classes; I wanted to know about labor.

The books that were available focused exclusively on this kind of mental preparation via huge amounts of detailed information. Although the content was essential, there was so much of it that it was overwhelmingI suffered sensory overload. Also, now that I have been through pregnancy and childbirth with my CO, I know that mental preparation is only part of the story. Men also need to be physically and emotionally prepared.

The manual that you are holding in your hands will provide you with clear and concise guidance on what to expect, from the moment you find out youre going to be a dad until the moment your baby trooper (BT) deploys. It will help to mentally, physically, and emotionally prepare you for fatherhood, but it will not saturation bomb you with information.