M.L. Nichols - The Parent Backpack for Kindergarten through Grade 5: How to Support Your Childs Education, End Homework Meltdowns, and Build Parent-Teacher Connections

Copyright 2013 by Marylisa Nichols

All rights reserved.
Published in the United States by Ten Speed Press, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.
www.crownpublishing.com
www.tenspeed.com

Ten Speed Press and the Ten Speed Press colophon are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc.

The Parent Backpack is a registered trademark of Marylisa Nichols.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Nichols, Marylisa.
The parent backpack for kindergarten through grade 5 : how to support your childs education, end homework meltdowns, and build parent-teacher connections / Marylisa Nichols.
pages cm
Includes bibliographical references.
1. Education, ElementaryParent participationUnited StatesHandbooks, manuals, etc. 2. Parent-teacher relationshipsUnited StatesHandbooks, manuals, etc. 3. Home and schoolUnited StatesHandbooks, manuals, etc. I. Title.
LB1048.5.N54 2013
371.192dc23
2012050585

eISBN: 978-1-60774-475-7

Design by Chloe Rawlins
Front cover photograph KidStock
Interior notebook paper photograph subjub

v3.1

IN MEMORY OF

Sandy Wade, my mom, to whom I promised a finished book; Sandy, the hurricane, which dared to hit the day my first draft was due; and the Sandy Hook Elementary children and teachers we will never forget.

I always thought I would have three children. What I didnt know is that the third would be a 300-page, nine-month labor of love, made possible through the generosity of many educators, parents, and writers. I am lucky and eternally grateful.

To the school administrators Ive worked with over the past decade from whom Ive learned so much: Candy Weiler, whose insight and encouragement shines through every chapter; Wayne Ogden, my wise coach who keeps me on course; Ed Walsh and Debbi Zetterberg, always there with answers and perspective; Suzanne Billingham, Gail Callahan, Kevin Clark, Bruce Cole, Blake Dalton, Andrew Stephens, Ann Taylor, Christopher Trombly, Karen Whitaker, and my three superintendents: Dr. Eileen Williams, Susan Skeiber, and Dr. Ben Tantillo, thank you for your support, your candor, and the many opportunities youve given me.

To my amazing teacher readers, Nancy Fenstemacher and Betsy McCarthy, who offered invaluable feedback on an endless stream of chapters. To the more than sixty brilliant psychologists, educators, and parenting experts Ive hosted through my nonprofit, The Parent Connection. To the excellent educators who have shaped my thoughts on teaching, learning, and family involvement: Sheila Arpe, Missy Bateman, Britta Bodine, Lisa Buchholz, Jay Craft, Chris Delano, Peggy Germain, Michele Glynne, Tom Gotsil, Dianne Hearn, Anne Henderson, Carol Jankowski, Meg Jordan, Ann Kalous, Kathleen Kedzeirski, Denise Lamare, Renee Lewin, Carole Love, Sara Madigan, Chris Maiorano, Karen Mapp, Kitty Marrone, Chris Naton, LeeAnn Nash, Stu Peskin, Susan Riser, Rachel Stadelmann, Nancy Stearns, Pat Tarantino, Michelle Taylor, and Liz Woollacott, thank you for all youve taught me. And to every devoted librarian, teacher, school nurse, counselor, office assistant, and custodian out there, thank you for putting children first.

To the parents who have helped me, especially Jamie Therrien, my sounding board, my brakes, my chief reader, and confidante who made this book possible. My co-founders on The Parent ConnectionSally Runci, Laura Smith, and Carrie Coutoand all the past and present board members whose contributions humble me daily. To the parents who read a chapter, provided input, or offered a shoulder: Maryann Aubrey, Kate Brewer, Marilyn Burnham, Mary Lynne Carson, Barb Desai, Robin Elliott, Anne Fleming, Mark Germain, Kim Hunt, Cari Kent, Christine Leonard, Brooke McDonough, Lynn ONeil, Jen Quinlan, Patty Roberts, Gay Shanahan, Jen Sullivan, Scottie Summerlin, Marci Teah, Selden Tearse, Michael Trottman, Anne Ward, Kristin Zaniboni, and Elena Zongrone. To the many other parents who participated in focus groups or workshops, shared their stories, or asked for my help somewhere along their childs journey. To my fellow moms on Parenting magazines Mom Congress on Learning and Education, thank you for all youve given me.

To my editor Julie Bennett, who understood and championed this book from day one. Your acumen for knowing just what a paragraph or a sentence needsand communicating that perfectlyamazes me every time. And to the terrific team at Ten Speed Press who brought this book to life: Michele Crim, Kara Van De Water, Ashley Matuszak, and Chloe Rawlins, and to copy editor Jean Blomquist and proofreader Molly Woodward, thank you.

To my agent and teacher, Mollie Glick of Foundry Media, whose vision and enthusiasm for The Parent Backpack never waned. Thank you for pushing me. To Katie Hamblin, who proved to be a stellar substitute. To Grub Street in Boston, Eve Bridburg, Lynne Griffin, and Katrin Schumann, who helped me find, shape, and launch this book, along with my fellow Launch Labbers, thank you for your inspiration and community.

Finally, to my family. For your unconditional love, encouragement, and tolerance of no matching socks throughout this journey. To my dad, Frank Germain, for your love and support at every turn. To Barry and Sara Nichols, for my Cape room-with-a-view and home-cooked dinners. To Emily, my oldest daughter and title creator, for all of your understanding of the book. To Olivia, my junior editor and bundle of love, for whom I will delete half my dashes. To Evi, my Fresh Air Fund daughter who will go to college. And to my devoted husband, Tom, my toughest editor, a fabulous dad, and launderer extraordinaire, I am forever indebted.

We need a revolution in this country when it comes to parenting around education. THOMAS FRIEDMAN, The World Is Flat

When my forty-two-pound, forty-two-inch, five-year-old Emily hoisted herself onto that big yellow bus to begin her journey through elementary school, I had a few questions. I was, admittedly, not one of those trusting just send her to school, shell be fine kind of parents. I was nervous, curious, and, yes, a little intimidated. What really goes on behind those big walls? How has school changed since I went? How do I support my childs learning? When do I talk to the teacher? What can I do to make sure my daughterboth my daughtersget the best education possible?

Besides having a baby, one of the biggest milestones in this parenting journey is sending our children off to school. I devoured parenting books on what to expect when my kids were little. But as I watched my oldest head off to kindergarten over a decade ago, my nightstand sat empty. I had no trusted resource to guide me through those emotional and important elementary years, no book to coach me on how to be involved in my kids education or what to expect. I did find lots of books on educationthe problems with it, what makes effective teaching, urban-suburban performance gaps, the perils of standards-based testingall written by educators, for educators. And I found books on parenting related to educationthe child with behavioral issues, what to do when your child doesnt like to read, and grade-by-grade curriculum books.