Liane Kupferberg Carter - Ketchup is My Favorite Vegetable: A Family Grows Up With Autism

Its rare for someone to be able to write about life with a special needs child and make it an enjoyable read, but Lianes prose is so goodso smart and funny and lucid and elegantthat even when shes exploring the fears and anxieties a parent faces, she makes it all somehow entertaining. Theres real information in these pages for parents going through similar journeys, but its accompanied by so much empathy and warmth that even those whose lives are untouched by this kind of thing will enjoy reading this. I would recommend it to every parent I know.

Claire LaZebnik, author of Overcoming Autism

Liane Kupferberg Carters book is a touching, compelling, and ultimately uplifting account of parenting an autistic son. It is breathtakingly honest about the emotional upheaval and about the many practical and legal difficulties, but also warm and funny. The observations are constantly astute and the book importantly demolishes some of the myths surrounding autism.

Adam Feinstein, Editor of Looking Up (The International Autism Magazine) and author of A History of Autism: Conversations with the Pioneers

Liane does a masterful job leading us up the twisted stairway from denial to acceptance; chaos to freedom. Raising a child with autism can at times feel like weve been thrown in at the deep end. But as we learn in Ketchup is My Favorite Vegetable , the waters eventually recede and we can stand on dry land again.

Arthur Fleischmann, parent of an adult daughter living with severe autism and author of the bestselling Carlys VoiceBreaking Through Autism

In Ketchup is My Favorite Vegetable , Liane Kupferberg Carter gracefully articulates the hopes, the disappointments, the frustrations, and the triumphs that are inherent to raising a child on the spectrum and negotiating with the powers that be. The reality of life in a household dominated by autism is artfully conveyed. By the end of the book you are rooting for Mickey and his family, and hoping to read a sequel. Highly recommended!

Chantal Sicile-Kira, author of A Full Life with Autism

Liane Kupferberg Carters Ketchup is My Favorite Vegetable is both moving and instructive. It will serve as a helpful and inspirational guide for all parents of special needs children as they transition to the adult world.

Priscilla Gilman, author of The Anti-Romantic Child: A Memoir of Unexpected Joy

I will always remember the day that Liane Carter first emailed me an essay for the New York Times blog, Motherlode. I knew from the first few paragraphs that I was in the company of a special writer. Her words shine a bright but embracing light on life with a grown son with autism. Never treacly, often funny, always direct and honest, she speaks to parents who have and will walk her specific road. That companionship is a gift to families who are navigating autism. But shes also a gift to parents of all children in every variety. This parenting stuff is joyous and hard, whatever the particulars. Liane captures the whole of that, and gives us all permission to struggle and celebrate at the same time.

Lisa Belkin, Senior National Correspondent at Yahoo, former reporter and columnist at the New York Times

KETCHUP IS MY FAVORITE VEGETABLE

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eISBN 978 0 85700 435 2

Infantile Autism

The Syndrome and Its Implications for a Neural Theory of Behavior by Bernard Rimland, Ph.D.

Edited by Stephen M. Edelson

Forewords by Temple Grandin, Margaret L. Bauman and Leo Kanner

ISBN 978 1 84905 789 9

eISBN 978 1 78450 057 3

The Complete Guide to Creating a Special Needs Life Plan

A Comprehensive Approach Integrating Life, Resource, Financial, and Legal Planning to Ensure a Brighter Future for a Person with a Disability

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eISBN 978 0 85700 684 4

LIANE KUPFERBERG CARTER

FOREWORD BY SUSAN SENATOR

Jessica Kingsley Publishers
London and Philadelphia

Portions of the book were previously published in slightly different form in the New York Times , 20102011.

Some names and identifiable details have been changed to protect peoples privacy.

First published in 2016

by Jessica Kingsley Publishers

73 Collier Street

London N1 9BE, UK

and

400 Market Street, Suite 400

Philadelphia, PA 19106, USA

www.jkp.com

Copyright Liane Kupferberg Carter 2016

Foreword copyright Susan Senator 2016

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form (including photocopying or storing it in any medium by electronic means and whether or not transiently or incidentally to some other use of this publication) without the written permission of the copyright owner except in accordance with the provisions of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 or under the terms of a licence issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency Ltd, Saffron House, 610 Kirby Street, London EC1N 8TS. Applications for the copyright owners written permission to reproduce any part of this publication should be addressed to the publisher.

Warning: The doing of an unauthorized act in relation to a copyright work may result in both a civil claim for damages and criminal prosecution.

Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data

Carter, Liane Kupferberg.

Ketchup is my favorite vegetable : a family grows up with autism / Liane Kupferberg Carter ; foreword by Susan Senator.

pages cm

ISBN 978-1-84905-715-8 (alk. paper)

1. Carter, Liane Kupferberg--Family. 2. Autism in children. 3. Autistic children--Family relationships. 4. Parents of autistic children--Biography. 5. Autistic children--Biography. I. Title.

RJ506.A9C388 2016

618.92858820092--dc23

[B]

2015026133

British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

ISBN 978 1 84905 715 8

eISBN 978 1 78450 209 6

For my beamish boys

The wound is the place where the Light enters you.

RUMI

CONTENTS

FOREWORD

Lets face it. There are many autism memoirs out there, but so many of the stories are about families who were lost in the autism maelstrom, but who stumble upon That One Thing, and thentheir kid is basically saved.

The non-recovery autism book is the one I hungered for. What Id been through with my sonfairly severe autism with cognitive delays and sensory issueshad been painful, mystifying, challenging. And it remains that way. At 25 Nat is still deeply autistic. New problems keep popping upwith health, caregivers, housing. But still, he has a worthwhile life, sharing an apartment with a terrific caregiver his own age, and he works part-time at a supermarket.

Along came Liane, with her book Ketchup is My Favorite Vegetable . I know Liane, I know her work. In reading her story, I found myself nodding my head in recognition, rather than thinking Been there, done that . Like me, Liane has been through the wars, the days of Prehistoric Autism, with little known, little information out there, few books, and a fledgling internet.