William Stillman - The Everything Parents Guide To Children With Aspergers Syndrome: Help, Hope, And Guidance

THE
EVERYTHING
PARENT'S GUIDE TO
CHILDREN
WITH
ASPERGER'S
SYNDROME

Help, hope, and guidance

William Stillman

Copyright 2005, F+W Publications, Inc.

All rights reserved. This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher; exceptions are made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.

An Everything Series Book.

Everything and everything.com are registered trademarks of F+W Publications, Inc.

Published by Adams Media, an F+W Publications Company 57 Littlefield Street, Avon, MA 02322 U.S.A. www.adamsmedia.com

ISBN 10: 1-59337-153-5

ISBN 13: 978-1-59337-153-1 (paperback)

ISBN 13: 978-1-60550-449-0 (EPUB)

Printed in Canada.

J I H G F E D C B

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Stillman, William

The everything parent's guide to children with Asperger's syndrome / William Stillman.

p. cm.

(An everything series book)

ISBN 1-59337-153-5

ISBN 13: 978-1-60550-449-0 (EPUB)

1. Asperger's syndrome. 2. Asperger's syndrome Patients Family relationships. 3. Parents of autistic children. I. Title: Parent's guide to children with Asperger's syndrome. II. Title. III. Series: Everything series.

RJ506.A9S7595 2004

649.154 dc22

2004013570

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information with regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional advice. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought.

From a Declaration of Principles jointly adopted by a Committee of the American Bar Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associations

Many of the designations used by manufacturers and sellers to distinguish their products are claimed as trademarks. Where those designations appear in this book and Adams Media was aware of a trademark claim, the designations have been printed with initial capital letters.

This book is available at quantity discounts for bulk purchases.For information, call 1-800-289-0963.

THE PARENT'S GUIDE TO Children with Asperger's Syndrome

Dear Reader,

When I was a little boy, I loved The Wizard of Oz more than anything. At every opportunity, I would endlessly recite related facts and statistics, or I would draw my favorite characters over and over again. However, as I grew, my passion remained constant while the interests of my peers became typical of preteens and adolescents. As you can imagine, this led to a number of social conflicts and challenges.

When I was growing up, there was no such term as Asperger's syndrome, at least not that anyone actively applied to my way of being. Fortunately, that has changed and today's parents desire information about Asperger's syndrome more than ever before.

The Everything Parent's Guide to Children with Asperger's Syndrome is a fresh, basic introduction for parents of children newly diagnosed with Asperger's.

I am grateful to many parents, kids, educators, and care- givers who have validated the contents of this book. And, along the way, I've had the good fortune to meet more than a few really cool little boys as equally passionate about The Wizard of Oz as I was!

Best wishes,

For Jay, my ally and protector

Welcome to THE PARENT'S GUIDES

As a parent, you're swamped with conflicting advice and parenting techniques that tell you what is best for your child. THE EVERYTHING PARENT'S GUIDES get right to the point about specific issues. They give you the most recent, up-to-date information on parenting trends, behavior issues, and health concerns providing you with a detailed resource to help you ease your parenting anxieties.

THE EVERYTHING PARENT'S GUIDES are an extension of the bestselling Everything series in the parenting category. These family-friendly books are designed to be a one-stop guide for parents. If you want authoritative information on specific topics not fully covered in other books, THE EVERYTHING PARENT'S GUIDES are the perfect resource to ensure that you raise a healthy, confident child.

Visit the entire Everything series at www.everything.com

Asperger's syndrome

Asperger's syndrome: the natural way by which some perceive the world from an alternate perspective and logic, creating misunderstandings, misinterpretations, and social challenges when one attempts to assimilate with the world at large.

All the examples and dialogues used in this book are fictional and have been created by the author to illustrate disciplinary situations.

Acknowledgments

I am grateful for the generosity and enthusiasm of the following people who helped make The Everything Parent's Guide to Children with Asperger's Syndrome possible: Debra Andreas; Kate Burgo; June Clark, literary agent extraordinaire; Dr. Michael Glew; Bill Kaiser, Police Training Specialist, Pennsylvania State Police Academy; Trieste Kennedy; Chris Khumprakob; Linda McCormick; Patrick Moore; Angela Uliana-Murphy, Esquire; Jim Murphy; Gina Rattle; Susan Rockwood; Noel Schaefer; Bonnie Schaefer; Richard Shull; Mark Sachnik; Dr. Barney Vincelette; Stephen Shore; and Barbara Scott-Mazza

Introduction

Long ago and far away, kids who drew detailed diagrams of spacecraft, created intricate models of the human digestive system, spent all their free time reading about medieval cathedrals, or enjoyed reciting complex dinosaur names and preferred those isolated activities over playtime with peers were labeled. The labels were a reflection of a so-called socially inappropriate desire to be absorbed with things, instead of people. Words often used to describe such kids may have included gifted, moody, antisocial, irritable, obsessed, geek, brainiac, or even stoic. They may have been thought of as outsiders, with no or few friends. As adults, they may have been considered odd and eccentric, loners or hermits.

Fortunately, today we are shifting our perception of what we now know to be Asperger's syndrome. We are learning more about Asperger's as a milder cousin on the autism spectrum. (Some equate Asperger's and the phrase high-functioning autism.) We are accepting Asperger's as a legitimate framework to describe a unique experience. Slowly but surely, we are moving beyond stereotypes in our collective understanding of children with Asperger's. We are recognizing their different ways of thinking, different ways of perceiving the world, and different ways of being. As we grow in our sensitivity and understanding, we are better able to support and celebrate the child with Asperger's syndrome. Instead of labeling a child as obsessed, we may now praise her giftedness and balance her needs to find a social niche.