Robert Callaway - Through the Eyes of Aspergers: A Latter-day Saint Perspective

through the eyes of aspergers

through the eyes of aspergers

A Latter-day Saint Perspective

Robert Callaway

atmosphere press

2021 Robert Callaway

All rights reserved.

Published by Atmosphere Press

Cover design by Beste Miray Doan

No part of this book may be reproduced without permission from the author except in brief quotations and in reviews.

atmospherepress.com

Note: This book contains information pertaining to people with disabilities and other issues, explaining the purpose of their lives here on earth, and how they can have successful, happy lives, while it focuses on those with Autism Spectrum Disorder. It contains inspiring information for anyone involved with any disability.

In the interest of protecting the privacy of certain people whose real identities are not essential to this true account, most names have been changed. All stories contained herein are based on actual life events. Ethans account has been adapted. Any similarity of names in this account to actual people and families is purely coincidental.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Forewordi

Preface iii

Introduction vi

My Own Life Experience Being a Member of the Church with Aspergers Syndrome/Autism Spectrum Disorder

Chapter One: My Aspergers Characteristics

Childhood Aspergers

Intense Sensory Sensitivities22

Communication Difficulty 33

Unawareness of Involuntary Movements41

Schedules and Routines48

Side Disorders53

Chapter Two: Experiences as a Member of the Church

with Aspergers Syndrome/ASD

Childhood Experiences with Aspergers

My Aspergers Experiences as an Adult78

Ethans Experiences with Aspergers100

Our Savior Loves All of Us117

Marriage and Aspergers119

Dealing with Stress and Aspergers124

Chapter Three: How I Have Dealt with Challenges,

Having Aspergers Syndrome/ASD

The Social Issue

A Safe Person and a Safe Place138

Its Not My Fault146

New Social Experiences153

Aggression and Aspergers Syndrome163

Chapter Four: How I Accomplished Major Events

in My Life, Having Aspergers Syndrome/ASD

Lifes Milestones

Dating and Becoming Engaged181

Prayer and Church192

My Sisters Perspective

Chapter Five: Living with My Brothers Aspergers

Syndrome (Susans Experiences)

Early Childhood

Elementary School217

Junior High and High School224

Young Adulthood225

Adulthood229

My Personal Concerns237

The Choices of Others242

What Can Be Done?244

Married Life248

Conclusion251

My Sweet Wifes Wonderful Assistance

Chapter Six: Robert and Jeanenes Special Life

and Journey Together

Meeting Robert

Our Life Together258

Spirituality262

Perspectives from Our Counselor

and another Close Friend

Chapter Seven: Mercury and Jupiter,

Heidi K. Rodriguez, LCSW

Aspergers Characteristics

Chapter Eight: My Dearest Friends

A Very Close Friends Association with Robert

and Jeanene273

Chapter Nine: A Therapists Perspective

Heidi K. Rodriguez, LCSW

What is Aspergers/Autism Spectrum Disorder?280

Physical Challenges and Coping Skills281

Emotional Overload and Coping Skills285

Mental Challenges and Resources288

Social Difficulties and Coping Skills291

Spiritual Challenges and Rewards297

Our Continuing Journey

Chapter Ten: Life in Passing

Lifes Trials

Helping Jeanene in Her Life311

Other People Care About You315

Chapter Eleven: The Greatest Challenge

Chapter Twelve: Blessings Always Follow Trials

The Power of Family

Bibliography

FOREWORD

BY BRAD WILCOX

I first met Robert when he arrived in Chile as a new missionary. I was serving in the same zone where he was assigned. I noticed he was different from other missionaries and I worried. The transition to mission life is difficult and I wondered how he would weather it. I knew learning Spanish and adjusting to the culture would stretch himespecially because some Chileans have a way of being brutally honest when pointing out someone's weaknesses. I was afraid it all might prove too much for him. I was wrong. Robert rose above every challenge in remarkable ways. He had the love of his family and our wonderful mission president and his wife. He had the support of some faithful members of the Church who took him under their wings. Most important, he had the help of heaven. God and Christ were with him every step of the way.

Reading Robert's book has left me amazed at his courage, perseverance, and service. His life has not been easy, but he has never given up. He has learned, adapted, adjusted, and hung in there, and now he is reaching out and striving to help others do the same. He is strong in the Church. If he were one to look for excuses to be offended and leave, he could find plenty. Instead, he and his wife are serving in the temple. Robert's bookand his lifefill me with hope because I have an autistic grandson. I see the challenges ahead of my little guy and I worry, but I keep thinking, "If Robert can do it, so can my grandson." My grandson also has the love and support of family and Church members. Most important, he also has the grace and help from heaven that will get him through. It is the blessing that gets us all through.

Thanks for writing this book, Robert. Thanks for your courage and faith. Thanks for never giving up and for being a light to so many. Thanks for giving me hope. I am confident every reader will feel it as I have.

Con amor,

Brad Wilcox,

Author of The Continuous Atonement

and Changed through His Grace

PREFACE

This is a unique book in that Robert, the main author, has Aspergers Syndrome/Autism Spectrum Disorder himself. He writes about what it actually feels like to have Aspergers, about how it affects his emotions, and about the unique difficulties he had and is having as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, having Aspergers. He has stayed close to the Spirit of the Lord, which has helped him to better understand the role of Aspergers in his life, and which has also greatly helped him to know how to overcome many of the unique difficulties he encountered, being a member of the Church.

Robert wrote this book with the encouragement of various people in his life, and directed it to an increasing number of individuals in or out of the Church who have Aspergers Syndrome/Autism Spectrum Disorder, as well as to all those who are involved in their lives in any degree. He has done this to provide a great resource to all those involved with Aspergers/ASD who are at a great loss as to what to do to resolve extenuating situations, as he explains the processes of how to accomplish positive results. He details many helpful ideas as well as action steps to follow, based on our Saviors teachings, which bring great results in their lives. These are also illustrated in various, touching stories. He has proven how these steps work, and how this plan has worked in his own life.

In this book, Robert takes the person with Aspergers Syndrome on a journey, identifying with his emotions through similar experiences, and then he shows him how to work through and resolve problems, which the Aspergers person has an extreme desire to do every day of his life in order to feel more secure. The person with Aspergers actually does not know how to resolve many of his own problems, and he will need help from other good people. These problems arise from many of the more unique, odd situations encountered by having Aspergers, and especially by being a member of the Church, along with other issues he and other people would normally experience. During this process, Robert also gives much enlightening, helpful information to family members, friends, leaders, and teachers in the Church, as well as to any others who are involved with those who have Aspergers Syndrome, as he can relate through his eyes to what it personally feels like to have Aspergers Syndrome. Through this book, many of these people can also really help the person with Aspergers to resolve most of his problems. There are a great number of people who may not know about Aspergers with its associated characteristics, and may not even know that certain people have this disorder, as this Syndrome can be difficult to recognize. This contributes to some of the issues the Aspergers person experiences.