Bonnie Zucker - Anxiety-Free Kids: An Interactive Guide for Parents and Children

Library of Congress catalog information

currently on file with the publisher.

Copyright 2017, Bonnie Zucker, Psy.D., All Rights Reserved

Edited by Lacy Compton

Cover design by Raquel Trevino and layout design by Allegra Denbo

ISBN-13: 978-1-61821-563-5

No part of this book may be reproduced, translated, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, microfilming, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the publisher.

At the time of this books publication, all facts and figures cited are the most current available. All telephone numbers, addresses, and website URLs are accurate and active. All publications, organizations, websites, and other resources exist as described in the book, and all have been verified. The author and Prufrock Press Inc. make no warranty or guarantee concerning the information and materials given out by organizations or content found at websites, and we are not responsible for any changes that occur after this books publication. If you find an error, please contact Prufrock Press Inc.

Prufrock Press Inc.

P.O. Box 8813

Waco, TX 76714-8813

Phone: (800) 998-2208

Fax: (800) 240-0333

http://www.prufrock.com

I dedicate this to my husband, Brian, and our two radiant sons, Isaac and Todd. You three are my everything, and you bring me unimaginable joy. Your love is the greatest of all gifts.

And to my Mother, who taught me my two greatest lessons: how to love and how to be compassionate.

W RITING this book, and its revision, has been an incredibly rewarding experience. In 1998, I discovered my love for treating anxiety disorders. Since that time, I have had the privilege of helping many children and adults who entrusted me with their well-being. They have taught me so much about life from their ability to grow and achieve psychological freedom. Their resilience and strength are extraordinarily impressive. Their progress is at the root of my motivation to write this book. It is my hope that it inspires the same growth in others.

The mentors and colleagues who have shown unending confidence in me have allowed me to become a stronger clinician. Dr. Bernard Vittone and Dr. Mary Alvord are chief among them. A special thank you to Dr. Vittone for sharing his expertise in the medication portion of the parent book. Drs. Rudy Bauer, Bill Lee, and Bill Stixrud have contributed to my growth, both personally and professionally. A special thank you to Dr. John McPherrin, who taught me how to be authentic and real with clients. I cannot thank Rich Weinfeld enough for connecting me with Prufrock, and for his continued enthusiasm. Finally, I want to thank Dr. Harvey Parker, who is the reason why I became a psychologist. His warmth, compassionate nature, and mastery of cognitive behavioral therapy make him an extraordinary psychologist and a phenomenal person.

Thank you to Dr. Judith Rapoport and Dr. Golda Ginsburg for their willingness to review and support this book. Their dedication to childhood anxiety disorders and expertise in the field is exceptional. I am honored by their endorsement of this book.

Lacy Compton, my editor at Prufrock, has been a pleasure to work with from the beginning. Her enthusiasm for this project and her superb skill as an editor shaped this book (and its previous version) in wonderful ways. I am extremely grateful for her contributions and guidance.

My husband, Brian, has shared my passion for this project and has supported me at every level. He has demonstrated unconditional belief in me and my work as a psychologist, and has been patient and understanding during the many times I have needed to go and write. Brian, and our little loves, Isaac and Todd, fill my life with love and warmth, and this makes me a better person in every way, including in my role as a clinician.

My mother was a constant source of love and encouragement throughout my life. The direction she provided, the confidence and security she gave, and the model of strength and goodness she demonstrated were instrumental in helping me to carve my own path in life and to become the person I am today. She always cheered me on and taught me how to be resilient; although she is no longer here to see the second edition of this book, she loved the first edition and it was a great source of pride for her.

I will forever be grateful for the sisterhood and best friendship that I have shared with Emily Celler. Her love and unfailing support mean more to me than she could ever fully realize. A special thank you to Ilene, Norm, Lisa, Scott, and Shawn, who have always celebrated my achievements with enthusiasm and pride.

Finally, I am influenced every day by the light and warmth of several individuals whose love constantly surrounds me though they are no longer here. My fathers memory brings me strength. The way he lived his life motivates me to succeed and work hard, and to be unwaveringly ethical. My stepfather, Irv, taught me how to live in awareness. His capacity for equality consciousness has influenced me in immeasurable ways. Most of all, his generosity of spirit and unconditional love have impacted me greatly. My grandparents, Ruth and Ben, nurtured me and nourished me with love and sweetness and modeled how to live a good and honorable life. These influences shine brightly in my life.

I N the 9 years that have passed since writing this book, I have had the privilege of treating hundreds more children with anxiety. I get to go to work every day and witness the growth and transformation of so many children and teens as they look deeply within themselves and find the courage and strength to face their fears, negotiate a new relationship with their thoughts, and create a new life of liberation and freedom. In doing so, I have learned so much more about anxiety and how it is overcome. I have become a better clinician, more knowledgeable, and even more confident in the power of cognitive-behavioral therapy. These insights and knowledge are reflected in this second edition.

In addition to a revised first edition, I have added two additional chapters: one on sleep and one on how to best parent a child with anxiety. Given how many kids have trouble falling asleep on their own in their own beds, or falling asleep in general, and how many parents struggle to help their children with this issue, a chapter on the subject seemed necessary. My work with anxious children always involves working with their parent(s). Being an effective parent to a child with anxiety not only supports the child in overcoming it, but facilitates more growth in the parents; by becoming successful in their parenting role around the anxiety, they develop more confidence and competence as parents in general.

W ELCOME to Anxiety-Free Kids: An Interactive Guide for Parents and Children (2nd ed.). This book features a unique companion-book approach, offering both an information book for parents and a tear-out workbook for kids. Congratulations on the selection of this books program to help your child overcome his or her anxieties, fears, and worrying behavior. It is a sign of resourcefulness and good parenting to take this step to assist your child in improving his or her experience in life, including his or her self-confidence and overall feeling of safety. This program is based on the cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) approach to treating anxiety disorders and it involves teaching strategies and techniques to overcome anxiety. CBT is problem-focused and solution-oriented and considers anxiety to have three components: physiological reactions, faulty and irrational thoughts, and avoidance or other nervous behaviors. It goes beyond figuring out the