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Sherrie Eldridge - 20 Things Adoptive Parents Need to Succeed: Discover the Secrets to Understanding the Unique Needs of Your Adopted Child-and Becoming the Best Parent You Can Be

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Do I have what it takes to be a successful adoptive parent?
Does my child consider me a successful parent?
Will I ever hear my rebellious teen say, I love you?
What tools do I need to succeed?

In her groundbreaking first book, Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew, Sherrie Eldridge gave voice to the very real concerns of adopted children, whose unique perspectives offered unprecedented insight. In this all-new companion volume, Eldridge goes beyond those insights and shifts her focus to parents, offering them much-needed encouragement and hope.
Speaking from her own experience as an adoptee and an expert in the field of adoption, Eldridge shares proven strategies and the moving narratives of nearly one hundred adoptive families, helping parents gain a deeper understanding of what is normal, both for their children and themselves. By first strengthening yourself as a parent, youll be able to truly listen to your child, and to connect with him on every level, by opening the channels of communication and keeping them open forever. Then you and your child can grow closer through the practical exercises at the end of every chapter.
Discover how to
be confident that your role in your childs life is vital and irreplaceable
pass on the legacy of healthy self-care by assessing and regulating your stress
communicate unconditional love to your child
talk candidly with your child about her adoption and her birth family
teach your family how to respond positively to insensitive remarks about adoption
connect with other adoptive familiesand build a support network
plus learn to become a warrior parentsettle the real parent questioncope with emotional triggerswhat to do when you lose it . . . celebrate the miracle of your familyand much more

Sherrie Eldridge: author's other books


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Praise for Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew As a - photo 1

Praise for

Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish
Their Adoptive Parents Knew

As a psychiatrist who has worked with dozens of adoptive families, and as an adoptive father myself, I can appreciate the sensitivity, understanding, common sense, and helpful suggestions given in this book. Sherrie has thrown the light of appreciation and understanding on the unique issues that often lie buried in the corners of adoptees lives.

F OSTER W. C LINE , M.D., internationally acclaimed child and adult psychiatrist and coauthor of Parenting with Love and Logic

What a useful book! Sherrie Eldridge has illuminated many issues adoptees and adoptive families face Many books have addressed problems in adoption, but Eldridge tackles the real villain: unresolved loss and grief issues and the trauma that precedes all adoptions. [This book] is a gift to everyone involved in adoption. Eldridges personal disclosures add a level of warmth and genuineness and yet do not overshadow her message but rather focus and heighten it. I am adding this book to my list of highly recommended books.

G REGORY C. K ECK , Ph.D., founder/director of the Attachment and Bonding Center of Ohio and author of Parenting Adopted Adolescents

This is the book Ive been waiting for! For those of us who have an adopted child, it is crucial we understand what the adoption process means to the adoptee. Sherries book warmly compels us to do just that. This information will be enormously beneficial to parents who want and need to embrace the heart concerns of their adopted child.

M ARILYN M EBERG , speaker and author of Id Rather Be Laughing

Sherrie Eldridge has opened my eyes widely to the unique needs of my daughter and how to meet them. This book is so clear on the needs of adopted children. I hope every adoptive parent like me will read it.

S TEPHEN A RTERBURN , founder of New Life Clinics and Women of Faith, and author of Addicted to Love

This is a landmark publication in the adoption field. Sherrie Eldridge has given us a sensitive, down-to-earth guide to the core issues adoptive parents want and need to understand as they respond to the genuine needs of their adopted sons and daughters. It provides a rare opportunity for the reader to share the inner feelings of adoptees and will be read by all members of the adoption triad and helping professionals.

D IRCK W. B ROWN , coauthor of Clinical Practice inAdoption and founder of the Post Adoption Center for Education and Research (PACER)

Sherrie Eldridges book is a lucid guide to many of the issues caused by the bonding disruption inherent in adoption. The possibility of complete healing through re-bonding between adoptive parent and child is enhanced when parents understand the phenomenon Sherrie so sensitively describes.

M ARTHA G. W ELCH , M.D., assistant clinical professor of psychiatry, Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons

Here at last is a book adoptive parents have been waiting for. Sherrie Eldridge has reached into her own experience as an adoptee and come forth with twenty important issues that adoptive parents need to know in order to effectively parent their adopted children [She] brings a ring of truth and immediacy to this complex and often painful subject. A book all adoptive parents should read!

N ANCY V ERRIER , adoptive parent, therapist, and author of The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child

So many questions about adoption remain unspoken, leaving children and parents paralyzed with confusion. Sherrie Eldridge gives voice to these questions as well as answers, offering hope and help. A must read for all parties touched by adoption.

E LISA M ORGAN , president and CEO of MOPS International

Adoptive relationships have for too long been encumbered by secrets and pretense. This book reveals the importance of dealing with what is true, and offers wonderful ideas for strengthening interpersonal bridges.

C ONNIE D AWSON , Ph.D., coauthor of Growing Up Again

[This] is a book written with passion and insight from the personal perspective of Sherrie Eldridge. Throughout the book, the author deals with the issues of adoption with amazing frankness and honesty.

S USAN S OON -K EUM C OX , Holt International Childrens Services, and author of Voices from Another Place

ALSO BY SHERRIE ELDRIDGE

Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their
Adoptive Parents Knew

Twenty Life-Transforming Choices
Adoptees Need to Make

Questions Adoptees Are Asking

Forever Fingerprints:
An Amazing Discovery for Adopted Children

Dedicated with love to John and Lisa Michael and Chrissie our adult - photo 2

Dedicated with love to
John and Lisa
Michael and Chrissie,
our adult children, amazing parents
to our six precious grandchildren

FOREWORD

I have read Sherrie Eldridges other books and have talked with her for years. We have undertaken so many discussions about issues in adoption, it is amazing that we have not resolved everything that complicates adoption. Unfortunately, neither has anyone else. Everyone in the adoption arena continues to look for creative and effective ways to remedy the many problems facing everyone involved in the adoption triad (the adopted person, the birth parents, and the adoptive parent) and the many professionals with whom they interact. When Sherrie approached me about writing a foreword for the sequel to the original Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew, I enthusiastically agreed.

The reader will be very quickly engaged by Sherries early pages; by page thirteen, I was sending her an email saying how much I liked what she wrote. I think it is uncommon for a person doing a foreword to comment about the authors choice of a title, but I am driven to do just that. By about page twenty, Sherrie had already addressed twenty things. By the end of the book, she had provided wise insights into about twenty thousand things that would be helpful for adoptive parents and their children.

20 Things Adoptive Parents Need to Succeed is uniquely poised to be helpful to everyone involved in adoption. As an adoptive parent, I found this book profoundly movingparticularly when I think that Sherrie, an adopted person, provides absolute validation for adoptive parents and thus for adoption. Too many individuals in the adoption triad represent only their perspective when writing or discussing issues related to adoption. Sherries well-integrated presentation provides an essential bridge for all members of the triad as well as for adoption professionals. She attends to each perspective with respect, grace, and sensitivity. She draws readers into not only what she is discussing but into their own stories, feelings, and experiences. As a parent, I found myself on somewhat of an emotional roller coaster, but then so comfortable with where the ride took me.

As a professional in the field of attachment and bonding, and as founder of the Attachment and Bonding Center of Ohio, I specialize in working, both nationally and internationally, with adoptive families whose children have experienced early trauma. Im also an adoptive dad to two sons, Brian and James.

Sherrie provides sound information based on research, family anecdotes, and existing adoption literature. For years we have spoken of adopted children with special needs; she enumerates the special needs that adoptive parents have. What an interesting and refreshing dimension! In fact, much of what Sherrie shares with her readers will allow them to reframe their current understanding of their own parenting. Readers may experience a sense of disequilibrium as personal feelings they thought were resolved emerge again. Not to worry, however; as you read on you will find a new level of understanding and resolution.

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