Elisabeth OToole - In on It: What Adoptive Parents Would Like You to Know about Adoption: A Guide for Relatives and Friends

Praise for In on it: What adoptive parents would like you to know about adoption

Written with humor and honesty, we found In on it to be very helpful and instructive. We are in agreement: we feel more protective toward our coming grandchild and more involved in the adoption after reading In on it.

Gary and Chris, grandparents-to-be, Kansas

In on it helped me to better understand the adoption experience of a dear friend of mine and what her adoptive parents experienced. It provides helpful suggestions and ideas of ways I can be more involved and supportive of adoptive parents and their children.

Kelly B., close friend to several adoptive families, Iowa

In on it sparked surprising and meaningful conversations about adoption issues. It touched on subjects that were important to a shared understanding of adoption and the heartfelt discussions that resulted strengthened our connection as mother and daughter. We recommend In on it to any friends or relatives who want to understand adoption and support adoptive families in their incredible journey.

Del and Judith, grandmother- and mother-to-be,
Florida and Minnesota

I enjoyed In on it more than I can say. I found it enlightening and welcoming. As a future adoptive grandmother, its an adoption book written with me in mind.

Kathi, grandmother-to-be, Washington

In on it is a much-needed and appreciated tool for adoptive parents, relatives and friends. It is insightful, educational and thought-provoking. I strongly recommend it to anyone considering adopting and to their family and friends.

Carolyn, grandmother, Florida

As an adoptive mother, I found In on it to be a wonderful tool for introducing friends and relatives to our adoption.

As a grandmother, though adoption is not unfamiliar to me, In on it offered new insights and understanding, as well as an opening for conversations around sensitive adoption topics.

We both strongly recommend In on it to other families and their loved ones lucky enough to be touched by adoption.

Tania and Joan, new mother and grandmother,
California

In on it made me realize that, in my haste to adopt, I had overlooked the needs of my extended family. They need time to think about and process the changes taking place. This is why In on it is so important. It made me both cry and smile. I see it becoming a must-read for all of those in the adoption circle.

Lara, adoptive mother, Alabama

A fantastic read. I want to buy a box full of this guide and put it on our doorstep! Its a great guide for everyone in the adoption circle.

Rhonda, mother-to-be, California

In on it is a great resource for friends and family of those who have adopted or are in the process of adopting. I cant wait to share this book with my own friends and relatives.

Kelly G., mother-to-be, Iowa

In on it is very informative, easy to read, and filled with helpful suggestions and insights. An excellent resource for the friends and family of anyone who has adopted or is adopting.

Dana, expectant adoptive mother, Kansas

I wish I could have everyone I know read this book! Its a great introduction to adoption, especially for people who want to know how to help and support an adoptive family.

Tamra, expectant adoptive mother, Ohio

A wonderful read, sensitively written, full of important information. We wish wed had it to give our sons grandparents when we adopted.

Krista and Philip, parents, New York

Elisabeth OTooles clear, insightful, and comprehensive guide to adoption is written expressly for andr to a readership generally overlooked: the extended family and friends of new adoptive parents. Grandparents and neighbors anxious about what to say or do will be heartened by this fine books conversational tone and generous spirit. Theyd be wise to accept the welcome into the adoption circle that In on it extends. And adoptive families will be glad they cared enough to read it.

Cheri Register, author of Are Those Kids Yours?
American Families with Children Adopted from Other
Countries and Beyond Good Intentions: A Mother Reflects
on Raising Internationally Adopted Children.

Excellent. Practical and sensitive wisdom for anyone supporting a loved ones adoption process.

Corrie L. Wold, MSW, LISW, Information and Education Director, Childrens Home Society and Family Services, Minneapolis

Elisabeth OToole addresses the complex and emotional experience of adoption with humor and respect, opening a path for friends and relatives to become insiders to the process. In on it is a well-written resource for people who want to support their loved ones, but arent always sure what to do or say. This book will remain on my recommended reading list for adoptive families and their friends.

Janna Annest, adoptive parent and adoption law columnist, Adoptive Families Magazine

A needed reference for families and friends.

Abbie Smith, LCSW, Director of Clinical Services,
Holt International, Eugene (OR)

In on it demonstrates how adoption is something both ordinary and extraordinary. The author, an adoptive parent herself, speaks to her readers with optimism, sensitivity and humor.

Emily Hollidge, LICSW, family therapist

In on it

In on it:

What adoptive parents
would like you to know
about adoption

A Guide for Relatives and Friends

ELISABETH OTOOLE

Fig Press St. Paul, Minnesota

Copyright 2011 Elisabeth OToole. All rights reserved.

Published by:
Fig Press
St. Paul, Minnesota
www.InOnAdoption.com

WHOS MY PRETTY BABY
Words and Music by Woody Guthrie
TRO- Copyright 1964 (Renewed) Ludlow Music, Inc., New York, NY
International Copyright Secured
Made in U.S.A
All Rights Reserved Including Public Performance For Profit
Used by permission
Lyrics cited are not entirely the original lyrics of the song.

Omaha Indian prayer is used with the permission of the Smithsonian Institution.

Cover design by Amy Kirkpatrick, Kirkpatrick Design
Interior design by Dorie McClelland, Spring Book Design

ISBN: 978-0-9828765-0-3
Ebook ISBN: 978-1-9346904-1-3

Printed in the United States of America

This is for you three.
Wholl be my little man
Wholl be my nice lady
Wholl be my funny little bunny, hey hey, pretty babe.
Youll be my little man
Youll be my nice lady
Youll be my funny little bunny, hey hey, pretty babe.
Woody Guthrie, Whos my pretty baby

Sun, moon, stars,
you that move in the heavens,
hear this mother!
A new child has come among you.
Make its life smooth.

Omaha Indian ceremony for children
Smithsonian Institution Press

O ne afternoon, while I was wandering through the neighborhood grocery store with my son, an elderly woman approached us. White-haired and cardigan-sweatered, she was the whole package: Sweet Little Old Lady. She looked intently at my baby, who was calmly surveying things from the seat of our grocery cart, then at me, happily basking in my new motherhood, and said, Look at that beautiful skin. Is he adopted?