Mike Berry - Honestly Adoption: Answers to 101 Questions About Adoption and Foster Care

Honestly Adoption is like a conversation with an old friend. Mike and Kristin Berry candidly answer your most pressing questions, sharing what they have learned along the way. Its a must-read for anyone on the journey of adoption and foster care as well as those considering it.

Joshua N. Hook, PhD, coauthor of Replanted: Faith-Based Support for Adoptive and Foster Families

What an incredibly comprehensive book Mike and Kristin Berry have written for adoptive and foster parents! I love it. Filled with a plethora of questions, this user-friendly book is like a manual that every parent would welcome and use periodically over the years as questions arise. Give parents time with this book, and youll see many dog-eared pages! It will be a favorite!

Sherrie Eldridge, author of Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew

This amazing book is a treasure trove of wisdom in bite-size nuggets that will help us all understand the good, bad, and ugly of foster care and adoption, as well as how we can love everyone around us and ourselves better. Thank you, Kristin and Michael (and all the adoptees) for answering real questions with intentionality, honesty, vulnerability, transparency, humility, and a whole lot of love, and for clearly providing guidance for our parenting, marriages, foster/adoption support, and self-care.

Philip Darke, host of the Think Orphan podcast and author of In Pursuit of Orphan Excellence

The conversation of foster care and adoption requires excruciating honesty. Honesty that starts from a desire to see others succeed. Honesty that challenges us to be our best selves, especially in our hardest moments. Honesty that refreshes us with the simple notion that we are not alone. I adore Mike and Kristin, and I am so glad they sat with the hard questions, challenged optimistic expectations, encouraged courageous families, and gave dignity to the stories of the most vulnerableour children. Honestly Adoption is a must-read regardless of where you are in the process of caring for vulnerable children. Thank you, Mike and Kristin, for your vulnerability and honesty.

Pam Parish, author, speaker, and founder of Connections Homes

With the conversational style and candor weve come to expect, Mike and Kristin Berry have delivered once again. With the wisdom that comes from years of lived experience, they ask all the right questions in Honestly Adoption. But they dont just ask the questions; they answer them too. Adoption and foster care should not be entered into lightly. In Honestly Adoption, Mike and Kristin provide answers to the questions that everyone should be asking.

Ryan North, cofounder, One Big Happy Home

The dynamic Berry duo have written a wonderfully practical guide for foster and adoptive parents in Honestly Adoption. They combine head, heart, and spirit knowledge with years of experience in the parenting trenches. Whether you are a parent just considering the idea of adopting, or your toddlers wont sleep alone, or your teenagers are engaging in risky behaviors, you will find hope, encouragement, and practical wisdom in digestible bites. I frequently found myself reading a nugget of truth and thinking of a specific family in my care who could benefit from the words shared. A must-have for clinicians and parents alike.

Paris Goodyear-Brown, MSSW, LCSW, RPT-S, founder of Nurture House, director of the TraumaPlay Institute, and author of Trauma and Play Therapy and A Safe Circle for Little U

As a foster parent of many children, I can honestly say that this is a book I needed when I first began this journey. Mike and Kristin Berry accurately and honestly cover just about every major question that new and experienced parents alike have. This is a book you must have on your shelf!

Jamie Finn, speaker and author of Foster the Family

As an adoptee who has read a lot of content geared toward adoption, I believe this is a book for the ages. Mike and Kristin address the questions many parents have, and they capture the hearts and perspectives of adoptees as well. I highly recommend this book for families who want an accurate and in-depth perspective on the foster and adoptive journey.

Tony Wolf, comedian, speaker, and author of Serve One

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS

EUGENE, OREGON

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Cover design by Bryce Williamson

Cover photo manley099 / Getty Images

Honestly Adoption

Copyright 2019 by Mike Berry and Kristin Berry

Published by Harvest House Publishers

Eugene, Oregon 97408

www.harvesthousepublishers.com

ISBN 978-0-7369-7679-4 (pbk.)

ISBN 978-0-7369-7680-0 (eBook)

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Berry, Mike (Parenting blogger) author. | Berry, Kristin, author.

Title: Honestly adoption / Mike Berry and Kristin Berry.

Description: Eugene, Oregon: Harvest House Publishers, [2019]

Identifiers: LCCN 2019000378 (print) | LCCN 2019004764 (ebook) | ISBN 9780736976800 (ebook) | ISBN 9780736976794 (pbk.)

Subjects: LCSH: Adoption. | AdoptionReligious aspectsChristianity. | Adoptive parents.

Classification: LCC HV875 (ebook) | LCC HV875 .B474 2019 (print) | DDC 362.734dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019000378

All rights reserved. No part of this electronic publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any otherwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The authorized purchaser has been granted a nontransferable, nonexclusive, and noncommercial right to access and view this electronic publication, and purchaser agrees to do so only in accordance with the terms of use under which it was purchased or transmitted. Participation in or encouragement of piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of authors and publishers rights is strictly prohibited.

CONTENTS

D ear friends,

We are so excited that you have decided to join in this conversation. Our hope in this book is to ask questions and share perspectives that further the conversation and open the door to new ways of thinking.

These questions have come directly from our readers, and they have prompted many thought-provoking conversations in our home. We have been married 20 years and are the proud parents of eight children, all of whom are adopted. We have two sons-in-law and three grandchildren. We were foster parents for nine years and have had 23 children enter our home over the past 17 years. We have both worked in church ministry as our profession.

Mike began writing full-time five years ago, and Kristin left her job in late 2017 so we could work together. Writing and speaking about foster and adoptive parenting has been a dream job for both of us. We are learning and growing each day as parents, and we want to share what we learn with others.

These pages have been a joy to write because our readers have contributed to the content in such a tangible way. We first started writing about adoption because we knew our family was different from those around us. We often felt alone. We began to write about our experiences as a hobby, but the response to our writing was overwhelming. We were not alone, and others didnt need to feel alone either. Over the years we have used this platform to connect with other families like ours. Here we can share resources, encouragement, and lessons learned.