Kristin Berry - Keep the Doors Open: Lessons Learned from a Year of Foster Parenting

Table of Contents

How could a book be inspiring, practical, educational, and motivational all at the same time? Kristin Berry makes that challenge a reality in Keep the Doors Open . I began reading one Sunday morning and finished by dinnertime. I couldnt put it down, and frankly, that rarely happens for me. Thank you, Kristin, for this beautiful contribution. It is a must-have for those considering becoming foster and adoptive parents.

Sherrie Eldridge , author of Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew

Kristin Berry has written an honest, hope-filled book about the joys and heartbreak of foster care. Keep the Doors Open offers a transparent look into her life as a foster momshe doesnt hold back about the challenges or the wonder of caring for children in desperate need. Youll love her for the way she nurtures the children who come through her door and for her sorrow when they leave. Keep the Doors Open may light a fire in your soul to say yes to fostering a child for the first time or to keeping your own doors and heart open to the next child needing a safe place to land.

Lisa Qualls , author, speaker, and creator of the One Thankful Mom blog

Kristin Berry is a master storyteller. Keep the Doors Open poignantly weaves the tale of a familys journey through foster care and adoption. More than that, it serves as a window into the heart of a mother. Kristin shares her familys story with grace and compassion, wit and wisdom. I could not put this book down and found strength, inspiration, and direction in its pages.

Jamie C Finn , creator of the Foster the Family blog and Real Mom podcast

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS

EUGENE, OREGON

Cover design by Kara Klontz Design

Cover photo Alexandre Zveiger, Tr1sha, Africa Studio, Patricia Hofmeester, P Maxwell Photography, Lora liu, JIANG HONGYAN, Fedorovekb, John Andrus / shutterstock

This book includes stories in which peoples names and some details of their situations have been changed to protect their privacy.

Keep the Doors Open

Copyright 2019 by Kristin Berry

Published by Harvest House Publishers

Eugene, Oregon 97408

www.harvesthousepublishers.com

ISBN 978-0-7369-7669-5 (pbk)

ISBN 978-0-7369-7670-1 (eBook)

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Berry, Kristin, author.

Title: Keep the doors open: lessons learned from a year of foster parenting / Kristin Berry.

Description: Eugene, Oregon: Harvest House Publishers, [2019]

Identifiers: LCCN 2019022552 (print) | LCCN 2019022553 (ebook) | ISBN 9780736976695 (paperback) | ISBN 9780736976701 (ebook)

Subjects: LCSH: Berry, Kristin. | Foster parentsUnited States. | Foster childrenUnited States. | ParentingUnited States.

Classification: LCC HQ759.7 .B469 2020 (print) | LCC HQ759.7 (ebook) | DDC 306.874dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019022552

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019022553

All rights reserved. No part of this electronic publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any otherwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The authorized purchaser has been granted a nontransferable, nonexclusive, and noncommercial right to access and view this electronic publication, and purchaser agrees to do so only in accordance with the terms of use under which it was purchased or transmitted. Participation in or encouragement of piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of authors and publishers rights is strictly prohibited.

When you think of the foster care system, what comes to mind? Do you imagine overworked caseworkers and tired caregivers, scared kids and discouraged birth parents? Yes, its all of that.

Do you also feel the quiet stirring of a passion deep within you? Do you wonder what it would be like to do something daring or maybe a little risky? What if you opened your vulnerable heart to help others? Have you ever pondered the path of foster care and wondered if it was time for you to venture in a new direction?

Mike and I faced these questions and fears when we considered becoming foster parents 16 years ago. We decided to go for it, knowing that it would be difficultand it was. In fact, after several years of foster parenting and many bumps in the road, we considered closing our license.

After months of wrestling with our decision, we realized we just werent ready to give up. We made a commitment to open our doors to whomever needed us for one more year. We faced that year with a thrilling sense of stepping into the unknown. Opening our doors to help others felt both terrifying and exciting. We learned that opening our doors to those in need often forced us to come face to face with our own weakness. We learned not only to welcome others but to allow ourselves to be loved as well.

This book is a compilation of stories from our nine years as foster parents. As you read these stories, I hope that you too will face your calling and the future with an openness that changes the world around you.

Wishing you adventure,

Kristin

CONTENTS

I closed my eyes and tried to remember the beginning. The memory is kept so far back that its hard to grasp. With my lids pressed together, I reached further than I thought possible, and then, there it was. The first memory of my grandfather. Yes, that is where my story begins.

My grandfather was the tallest man I had ever known. At least thats how it seemed from where I stood. I craned my neck to look up at his soft white hair. He grinned down at me from his favorite rocking chair. How are you, tweetie? he asked in a soft voice. I crinkled my nose at the mispronounced word and reached my arms up to him. I crawled onto his lap and waited for him to turn his hearing aid down. His red cardigan smelled like soap and Old Spice.

Its sweetie, Grandpa, I corrected him gently.

Oh, I know, I know. Its just that my tongue doesnt say it quite right.

I raised myself up onto my knees and looked him square in the eyes. Show me your tongue again, Grandpa, I requested with unashamed curiosity. He smiled again and stuck his tongue out for me to examine. Just below the tip of his tongue, a bite-size piece was missing.

When I was littler than you, someone wasnt holding on tight enough. They dropped me, and I almost bit it right off. He paused for effect. At the hospital, the doctor wanted to remove the whole thing, but my mom wouldnt let that happen, so they did their best to fix me up. And with that, he lowered me to the floor, patted me on the head, and returned his focus to Wheel of Fortune .

When I was in early elementary school, I overheard my grandfather talking about his plan to meet his biological siblings for the first time. The adults were standing around the kitchen table long after the Thanksgiving dinner had ended. My grandmother was wiping the counter down, and my aunts were drying the silverware. My mom and dad were returning chairs and tables to storage, and I was supposed to be folding the tablecloth. The steady dance of cleaning, folding, and putting away stopped abruptly. I was keenly aware that this was not a conversation for me, and yet I inched closer, straining to hear. I tucked the half-folded tablecloth under one arm and braced myself against the doorframe so I could lean in just a little closer. I couldnt understand how my grandpa had never met his own brothers and sisters. At the moment, mine were chasing one another relentlessly through the basement playroom with several of my cousins. They were making it difficult to eavesdrop, but nevertheless, as I tried to imagine not knowing them, my heart filled with a sense of vast emptiness.