Dr. John Degarmo - Fostering Love: One Foster Parents Journey

F OSTERING L OVE

One Foster Parents Journey

Dr. John DeGarmo

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2012 Dr. John DeGarmo. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by CrossBooks 5/24/2012

ISBN: 978-1-4627-1854-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4627-1855-9 (e)

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Contents

For Jessica, where ever she might be; and for Daniela, whose inner drive to succeed is inspiring.

For I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat; I was
thirsty, and you gave me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you took me in.

Matthew 25:35

I would like to thank my wife for her unwavering support and patience as I wrote this book. I would also thank my own dear children for being remarkable foster siblings. Finally, I thank Kathy, who took time to read through this book and gave valuable insight.

The call came while I was at work. After much training, a great deal of prayer, and a large amount of waiting, our house was finally set to have a foster child come live with us. In fact, we werent just getting one foster child, we were getting two; two little girls. I was nervous, confused, and anxious. How would they act in our house? Why were they in foster care? How long would they stay with us? Many questions flew through my head as we prepared our hearts, and our home, for them.

Our own children were excited, as well, though for different reasons. They were excited to have two new sisters come live with them. Kelly, my Australian wife of nine years, and I were certainly depending on them to help in little ways. Ways like helping to keep the house clean, help feed the new additions to our home, and most importantly, help love these hurting children. We had moved into our new house only a few months beforehand, and already we had to reshuffle some rooms around. Our two daughters, Kolby (aged six) and Jace (aged five) both had their own separate rooms. Our son, Brody (aged three) had the largest room upstairs, let alone the entire house. The room is a long one, stretching from one side of the house to the other, though it is a narrow one, with a slanted ceiling.

He will have to share his room with the oldest girl, said my wife, her bright smile radiating from her petite figure. Her brown hair had recently been cut short, making her ever more beautiful than ever before.

Yeah, youre right, I replied. Ill have to put another bed up there. Ken and Cathy, friends of ours from church, had donated an old single bed, so we decided to place the older girl in it, on one side of the room. Brody would sleep on the other side, in a small toddlers bed. The other foster child, a baby, would sleep in a crib in our bedroom, on the main floor.

I hung the phone up, said a silent prayer, and went back to work. It was my sixth year as an English and Drama teacher at the local high school in Eatonton, Georgia, a forty five minute drive from our house in Monticello, a tiny rural town an hour south of Atlanta, and an hour north of Macon. Kelly had recently opened up her own business as a massage therapist, in our fair town of 2,000 residents. As I expected, her charm, her warmth, and her many gifts, given by God, made her an instant success in her business, and her schedule was always full. After all, everyone in the small town knew Kelly from Australia, and we were very blessed that her career and business was as successful as it was. Indeed, her income was essential to us.

I arrived home and gave Kelly and each of the kids a kiss and hug. Kolby and Jace were at the table, having a snack, and Brody was playing in the lounge room. Kids, come here, I said, we have something to talk to you about.

Kelly and I sat across from them in the lounge room. Children, you know how mommy and I decided to help out other children in need, and you know how we told you we would be foster parents? Well, two little girls are coming to stay with us for awhile.

Hooray! Their reaction was immediate, as they jumped off the couch, whooping and hollering. What time are they coming? Jace asked between missing teeth.

Whats their names? was Kolbys question. She was excited to be an older sister to even more siblings.

Where are they going to sleep Brody wanted to know. His gentle and caring young nature had him concerned for all who were in need.

Well, one little girl is four, and the other is six months, Kelly told them. We dont know their names yet. Brody, the four year old is going to sleep at the other end of your room. How does that sound, son?

Okay, Mommy, my three year old boy replied.

At church that Wednesday night, our church family was quite interested, as well as supportive. So many questions were flying at us, and we had no answers. The only thing that DFCS, or The Department of Family and Children Services, could tell us is that it would be sometime tonight when they would come. As we were to find out many more times later, as many more foster children would pass through our house, it is often a guessing game when it comes to foster children and DFCS.

It was 10:30, and our own kids had long gone to sleep, when the caseworker arrived with the two girls. The girls were scared, both of them; and why not? They had been taken from their home late at night, taken away from their mother, and placed in a strange home with strange people now looking at them.

The caseworker, Linda, sat across the table from us, sipping a cappuccino I had made for her. Sarah is four, and Mary Sue is six months, Linda said. They suffer from poor nutrition and neglect.

Why were they taken from their homes? I wanted to know.

Well, Linda began, their mother and father were homeless, and moving from one hotel to another. There was also an incident with a knife, and the children were left in a hotel by themselves for awhile, while the parents were out.

Is the father the father of both children? They look nothing alike, I wanted to know.

No, there are two different dads. The mother lives with Mary Sues father, and Sarahs father is in jail, Linda said.

Is this all the clothes they have? Kelly asked, pointing to the black plastic bag Linda brought with her.

Yes, its not much, but it is all I could get. We had to go into the house with a police escort, as the mother was trying to prevent us from removing the children. If you buy the children new clothes, just keep the receipts and put them with your monthly invoice, and you will be reimbursed.