Dr. John Degarmo - Faith & Foster Care: How We Impact Gods Kingdom

Through transparent sharing, Dr. DeGarmo reveals the startling, costly, yet rewarding realities of fostering hurting children. No minced words or pious platitudes. No guilt-ridden pleas that all are called. Instead, a moment-by-moment dependence on the Lord through prayer is key to enabling a parent to go from strength to strength. Indeed, a much-needed resource for potential foster parents as well as a comfort for struggling parents. Highly recommended for DCS workers, social workers, and adoption agencies.

SHERRIE ELDRIDGE, author, 20 Things Adopted Kids Wish book series

Faith & Foster Care was a real shot in the arm for me as I read it and reflected on my years as a foster parent. Reading so many real-life antidotes from others who shared many of the same experiences as my family was validation of our work, commitment, and the role our faith played in everything we did as foster parents. This is a must-read book for foster parents and other caregivers. It is honest about the challenges of fostering while speaking eloquently to the blessings it is to the foster parents, the children, and the birth parents of the children receiving foster care services. Job well done, Dr. DeGarmo, job well done.

IRENE CLEMENTS, executive director, National Foster Parent Association

Faith & Foster Care is truly an inspirational book directed toward the Christian foster parenting audience. The personal stories woven throughout the book from other foster parents make the book relatable and inspirational. Reading stories from those who have walked the faith-filled fostering journey provides a unique, profound voice to the book. The added Scripture passages help readers identify areas of the Bible that directly relate to foster care, adoption, and the call that many foster parents experience. This book is definitely ideal for those looking for a Christian-based perspective on foster parenting and a deeper, more inspirational look at how fostering impacts lives.

KIM HANSEL, editor, Fostering Families Today magazine

The Bible calls Gods people to care for widows and orphans in their distress. This book is a helpful tool to move us from talk to action. For those who are opening their hearts and homes in foster care, Dr. John DeGarmo provides a guide to navigating the difficult issues and potential challenges that arise from this kind of ministry. I recommend this book for anyone considering answering Gods call to care for these children in need.

DANIEL DARLING, vice president of communications for the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission and author of The Original Jesus

FAITH & FOSTER CARE

DR. JOHN DEGARMO

New Hope Publishers

PO Box 12065

Birmingham, AL 35202-2065

NewHopePublishers.com

New Hope Publishers is a division of WMU.

2016 by John DeGarmo

All rights reserved. First printing 2016.

Printed in the United States of America.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwisewithout the prior written permission of the publisher.

New Hope Publishers serves its authors as they express their views, which may not express the views of the publisher.

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016933810

All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.

Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (ESV), copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2007, 2013 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NKJV) are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Book design: Parapalla Design Shoppe

ISBN-10: 1-59669-472-6

ISBN-13: 978-1-59669-472-9

N164112 0516 2.5M1

For tiny Marquez,

who brought our family

hope, wonder, and love.

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.

And what does the LORD require of you?

To act justly and to love mercy and to walk
humbly with your God.

Micah 6:8

CONTENTS

I would like to thank God for His love and wisdom during my journey as a foster parent and for His guidance with this book. I would also like to thank Trish Heron for her help with the children as I wrote this book. Finally, thank you to all who contributed to this book with your personal stories. Each of you is not only an inspiration to many but also a light in the foster care world.

INTRODUCTION

My first exposure to what I would later learn had been foster care was to go stay with the nicest people I had ever met. That husband and wife were a wonderful couple who had lost their only child in a car accident. I dont remember their names or what they looked like. I dont know where they lived or anything else about them. But I vividly recall one conversation, one moment in time that changed me forever. The foster father told me that I was put here for a reason. Until then I believed that I was an accident of biology. Unwanted, unloved, un-purposed. Although I couldnt have articulated it at seven or eight years old, I felt worthless and unworthy of the food I ate or the air I breathed. Suddenly, in one sentence, a person I liked and respected suggested that there was a purpose for my life.

The time I spent with those people was a time of firsts. It was the first time Id been in a clean house. The first time Id seen a shower. It was the first time Id seen people eat with utensils. It was the first time Id seen sheets and pillowcases and bedspreads that matched. It was the first time I could fall asleep knowing that I was perfectly safe. It was the first time Id had plenty to eat. And it was the first time I met Jesus.

I was removed from that home because those lovely people took me to church. My atheist grandfather filed a complaint, and I never saw those people again, but the seed they planted in the brief time I was there took root. I was placed back in the custody of the abusive people from whom Id been removed, and I lived in abuse and poverty until I emancipated at age 16. But the root of faith in Christ grew, and God made arrangements for me to stumble right into the purpose for which I was born, the purpose to which that foster father had alluded many years before.

Because of one brief conversation with one man, the entire trajectory of my life changed. Since 1989, I have dedicated my career to protecting the good people and organizations that help children who have been abused. And since the day I was baptized, July 4, 1976, I have done my best to fulfill the purpose for which I was born and perfectly matched, which is to help others find and fulfill Gods perfect plans for their lives. Every good thing Ill ever do, every impactful word Ill ever speak, and every accomplishment Ill ever enjoy is because of those faith-filled people who took a dirty, difficult little girl into their home for a very short time.