Velma M. Stewart - A Mothers Love: A Foster Mothers Life Time Experience

A Mothers Love

A Foster Mothers
Life Time Experience

By Velma M Stewart

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Copyright 2011 Velma M Stewart .

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored
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Printed in the United States of America .

isbn: 978-1-4269-6013-0 (sc)
isbn: 978-1-4269-7681-0 (e)

Trafford rev. 12/16/2011

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Contents

Dedicated to:

My Husband Donald G. Stewart

And to all my children; especially Shalanda, DJ, and Eric

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

There are a number of wonderful people who encouraged me to write this book. My gratitude to my family, especially Auntie Dr. Edith Hines, Mavis Burns, Carolyn Moore. To my late Pastor Bishop Charles Thomas from Victory in Christ Church he gave me confidence and encouraged me to continue with my book no matter what. With this encouragement I will always appreciate their love and support.

Foster Parents Prayer

Heavenly Father show me the path that leads to being The Best Foster Parent and help me journey through the good times and the bad. Help me to understand my foster children as I would my own; to listen to them carefully when they have something to say and answer their questions to the best of my ability. Help me to be strong and to hold my head up high to be looked upon by my foster children as a constructive influence. My I accept them for what they are and not for what they could be? Show me how to teach them right from wrong and that being honest leads to a better life filled with happiness and joy. May I grant them the right to make some decisions for themselves and to learn to accept responsibility? When I am angry or upset, help me to control my temper; and shall I not punish them to show my authority over them. Help me to prepare them for when they leave to deal with lifes uncertainties. Amen

I think this was to be a guide. I only remember hearing this prayer one time at our first meeting. Other prayers of our own choosing were followed at other times. We were asked to meet once a month after supper. For me, it was a short walk down the block. Sharing a prayer time together set a tone for our guidance from the agency. Each parent would share a moment of their time with their responsibility. The childrens behavior was a prominent conversation. The group interaction showed us the different ways of handling each childs behavior. The children are looking for love! showing temper, teasing and getting on your last nerve. Example one of my ten year old was constantly telling me I wasnt his mother and that I was ugly and that I could not cook. After his tirade he would laugh and point directly at you. The foster parents would be reminded that they were to be accommodating to the childrens needs.

A Mothers Love

A mothers love is unconditional. She will do without just to make sure her children are well taken care of. A mother comforts her children. She loves her children even when she has been hurt by them. She realizes, she cant give up now but must keep her faith and hope for the best. She sometimes feel like all hope is gone but realizes that with prayer, fasting, reading God word and asking God for understanding she can make it. No one said it would be easy raising children. There is going to be ups and downs that we must go throw. A mother cant throw in the towel on her children because she knows help will be on the way. The bible tells us to ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be open to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knock, the door will be open. I believe if I do ask seek and knock I will find help for my children when in need. There is someone who has more experience than you do when raising children.

As a mother you must keep yourself available at all times for your children. I dont mean put your life on hold but do the best you can for them. A mother knows her children even when they think she doesnt. A mother knows the voice of her child. She knows when something is wrong by the tone of her child voice. She knows even if that child doesnt say a word. She knows by the look on her child face. A mother is precious; there is no amount of money that can buy a real mother love for her children. A mother seeks wisdom. She trust in the lord with all her heart, and she leans not on her own understanding but ask the lord to help her with her children, if she does that then God shall direct her in the right way.

A mother will always love her children in good and bad times; just as our heavenly father loves us we must love our own the same way unconditional. A mothers love is real, you can tell by the things she does. You can feel her love for her children even if she doesnt say I love you she shows it. For the nine months she carried you inside up until you became a young adult. She still took care of you and there is no charge for loving you the way a mother do. A mothers love will never die. She will take that love to the grave with her.

Introduction

Title: A Mothers Love: A Foster Mothers Life Time Experience

I had fifty-five foster children in five years. This was due to me taking in siblings group so the children could all stay together. The experience I had before becoming a foster mother was helping raise my six siblings. My husband and I have two children of our own. I joined an agency in Brooklyn, N.Y. to become a foster parent. The agency was Miracle Makers. The Miracle Makers required you to take classes in order to become a foster parent. After taking classes and you have passed the requirement, they would let you know if you will be getting children in your home. My home passed the requirements. Some of the requirements were: Have a regular income. A background and a criminal check on everyone living in the home. Administration Childrens Services was checked to make sure that we didnt have a case against us. Good health was required and also being medically cleared before any child enters our home. Most important was my desire to help those in need. To take children for money and not because you love children and want to show love to those children who never knew love in the home would be detrimental. After having a child in your home for two years or more you fall in love with that child and its hard to let go, when its time for that child to return home to his or her family. You are told not to get attached. But how can you not become attached? As a mother it was very hard not to get attached to the children that are in a family situation twenty four seven (24/7).

It was not easy being a foster mother because the children didnt allow you to help them at first. You have to win their trust; you need a lot of patience. The children test you in every area. They would make up untruth to the caseworker. Most times the caseworkers believe them. The caseworker wont tell you anything the children told them. However sometimes the caseworker acted as if you have committed a crime because of what the children told them. The workers would come to our home unexpected in trying to catch you unaware.