Casey Hardman - Thirteen Years Fostered: A Young Mans Struggle for Life

What is life, but an adventure down an endless road with many possible turns. Like a road, a persons existence consists of different paths, and the decision that has to be made is done so by either their intuition, peer involvement, or just plain luck. When just starting out, the end result is always unpredictable, and can always differ depending on what path one takes. A persons start is important, and that process involves much guidance from those around them, and shouldnt be taken from whims of judgment.

At times will hear that a first-time mother will automatically know what to do from intuition and or from within, because something inside of her will truly know what is best. Well, what exactly does that mean? Is it that her intuition is telling her that she would be fine raising a child by herself; that having a low paying job wont matter because somehow she will be able to; that leaving it be to tire itself out will help. Thats a load of bull and we both know it. Dont get me wrong, Im not trying to prove that women cant have mothers intuition, rather, Im just stating that thats not always the case. As great as it would be for every woman to experience the tranquility and peace that the mothers intuition has to offer, its just not realistic. There are quite a lot of women out there who need help and guidance from others because they arent prepared or ready to bring a child into being. Not only are there women out there who are not ready to take care of a child but also men who arent. Thats where I come in, as both my parents werent ready for any of the three children they brought into this world.

Over my short and painful life, I have experienced some pretty dark and yet empowering situations. I use the word empowering because I find it has that quality of really affecting something. In my life, I had always been overpowered. Overpowered by law, by ways of life, by acts of instinct, by mothers intuition. I know without a doubt that everything I had been through isnt even comparable to some, where the grim of what theyve had to go through is beyond injustice, but still. I feel as though what I have witnessed, can really speak to what could be found behind closed doors. And who knows, perhaps my story could inspire others to speak out, to move on, to find importance in their own lives, or to just be grateful.

In the course of my life, Ive had to make some pretty horrific and questionable decisions, and have been faced with many troublesome situations. I just hope that in some way I can touch and open the minds of others to the understanding that there are people out there without a voice, without others to be by their side, all while going through a struggle. My life wasnt given to me to live how I wanted, how my parents had hoped it would turn out. Then again, the choices my parents kept making, made everything difficult, as they were no longer able to make any decision for me.

The actions of my biological parents werent something I had any control over. The state they were in, was not to be rectified by anyones actions but themselves. For some time, they didnt even realize what they were doing. The wrong in their behavior. Still, actions have consequences, and their three innocent children were the ones to pay for it. Thirteen years in and out of foster care was the life I had endured because of the actions of my biological parents.

For over a dozen years, I had to deal with situations and witness things most parents would never want for their children. As a parent, it is believed that one would do anything to protect the child in question. Protection from hate, violence, fear, all of the badness in the world. My siblings and I never had that from our parents. For most of our lives, we didnt even have each other. Being moved around in separate homes made life difficult. We had the constant feeling of being alone in the world.

Actions laid against us from infancy, and yet we were the ones poorly viewed from those who didnt understand our situations. Too often outsiders who didnt care to know the truth about why we were in foster care, viewed us as troublesome orphans. Often I had other kids tell me their parents didnt want them hanging around me because of my situation. Little did they know it was not in my control, and yet again, I was the one to suffer. Perhaps if they read my story, they will finally be able to understand foster children arent always at fault, rather the victim. Thats the hope. Hope. Prayer. Faith. Patience. These were the only things I had to hold on to in order to get through my life.