John McPherson - The Get Well Book: A Little Book of Laughs to Make You Feel a Whole Lot Better

Close to Home is distributed by Universal Press Syndicate.

The Get Well Book copyright 1998 by John McPherson. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of reprints in the context of reviews.

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Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 97-74516

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Foreword

I have long been a fan of John McPhersons cartoons. Because we find them insanely funny, Mark Victor Hansen and I have used a lot of them in our Chicken Soup for the Soul series of books. I own every collection of his cartoons that has been published, and I can safely say that this collection is certainly one of Johns bestand also most useful.

Scientists have been telling us for years that when we laugh, our brains secrete endorphinsa natural opiate that reducespain and accelerates healing. In other words, reading this book is good for your health!

When we are faced with an illness or a serious health challenge, it is important to laughat ourselves, our disease, ourdoctors and nurses, and the many forms of treatment to which we are subjected. Laughter allows us to face our fears and gain some distance from and perspective on our illnesses and then treatments. The Get Well Book will help you accomplish this in just seventy-five pageswhat a wonderful gift to give to yourself and those you care about.

Get ready to enjoy a really hilarious look at the foibles of the medical world.

Jack Canfield, coauthor, Chicken Soup for the Soul

For Griffin.

The doctor says its just a pinched nerve.

Teds balloon angioplasty procedure gets off to a rough start.

When Fufus head droops down and touches his knees, you buzz me!

Oh, my! This is much worse than I thought! Imafraid we may have to pull all of these lower teeth!Take a look and see if you agree, Ms. Cornstock.

Stop the tape! See what George Clooney is doing with that catheter? Thats the procedure I think we should try with Mr. Simkins.

Here you go! T-bone steak, mashed potatoes, and fresh asparagus! Whoops! What am I doing? This is for Mr. Cagner in room 173.

There are two divergent opinions on how best to treat you. Im convinced you need a triple bypass. Your HMO says all you need to do is rub this $14 tube of salve on your chest.

Barry does his trick of clenching all his muscles at once and getting his IV bag to expand.

Joyce, write this down in Mr. Cutlers file: thump... thump-thump... thumpety thump... boink.

Everyone... ah, ha, ha!... get out of here! Weve got a... ha, ha... leak in our... hee!... laughing-gas tank! Ooo-wee! Ha, ha! Go on, you scamps! Shoo!

Okay, Mr. Feldman. Youre all prepped for surgery.

Were going to try to disintegrate the kidney stone with a three-hour barrage of music by the rock band Pearl Jam.

I told you not to pick at it!

Urology department. Can you hold?

Dr. Vernley prides himself on his commitment to 100 percent organic dentistry. Today hell be using bamboo drill bits, a yucca extract painkiller, and adobe fillings.

Congratulations! Youre going to have a disease named after you!

Surgeons at Wilton Medical Center prepare for the worlds first beer-bellyectomy.

We were pretty worried about you until we discovered that the power on the X-ray machine was set way too high and we had actually gotten an image of a coatrack in the room behind you.

Mr. Farnsley, I havent got the slightest idea what song youre humming. Please take the stethoscope out of your mouth.