Adam Carpenter - Pregnancy for Dads-to-Be: The Essential Pocket Handbook to the First Nine Months of Fatherhood and Beyond

Copyright 2016 by Adam Carpenter

First Skyhorse Publishing edition 2017

Originally published by Summersdale Publishers, Ltd. in the United Kingdom.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without the express written consent of the publisher, except in the case of brief excerpts in critical reviews or articles. All inquiries should be addressed to Skyhorse Publishing, 307 West 36th Street, 11th Floor, New York, NY 10018.

Skyhorse Publishing books may be purchased in bulk at special discounts for sales promotion, corporate gifts, fund-raising, or educational purposes. Special editions can also be created to specifications. For details, contact the Special Sales Department, Skyhorse Publishing, 307 West 36th Street, 11th Floor, New York, NY 10018 or .

Skyhorse and Skyhorse Publishing are registered trademarks of Skyhorse Publishing, Inc., a Delaware corporation.

Visit our website at www.skyhorsepublishing.com.

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available on file.

Cover design by Jane Sheppard

Print ISBN: 978-1-5107-1707-7

Ebook ISBN: 978-1-5107-1712-1

Printed in China

CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

There is, I suspect, one common emotion that every man across the world feels to some degree when their other half utters those life-changing words: Im pregnant. Happiness? Joy? A teary-eyed appreciation of the miracle of life? Most likely that first emotion is pure, spine-tingling, stomach-churning, limb-shaking fear.

Well, dad-to-be, its time to embrace this fear and this book will help you to do it. First ask yourself just what it is thats making you feel this fear. Is it fear of the unknown? You know that in a few months time your partner is having a baby but not very much about what goes on in between. The following chapters will guide you through the whole process, trimester by trimester.

Maybe it is money worries that are scaring you. If this is the case, then this book will advise what to buy, cutting out any unnecessary expenditure.

Or maybe its the fear of losing your freedom? Hopefully this book will help you to realise over time that the joy of fatherhood is worth the change of lifestyle. Nothing else in your world will really compare to creating and nurturing a new life.

Another fear is of something going wrong. Of course it can happen, but out of the 3.98 million babies delivered in the United States in 2014, just 500,000 were miscarriages (unsurviving babies delivered before 20 weeks), with the figure for stillbirth (after 20 weeks) being under 1 per cent. We will discuss this topic but for the most part, this book presupposes that you will have a beautiful baby at the end of the pregnancy.

Thats not to say it wont be a bumpy ride; over the next nine months or so, there will be tensions, worries and much uncertainty, but there will also be unforgettable memories to cherish, such as the moment you hear your babys heartbeat for the first time.

And slowly you will feel more justified in saying: I am going to be a brilliant dad.

So come on, dont be afraid. Lets do this!

CHAPTER 1

PREPARE YOUR PARTNER (AND YOURSELF) FOR PREGNANCY

Whether you are reading this book as a confirmed dad-to-be or a hopeful one, this first chapter will help you and your partner to prepare for a baby, however imminent this may be.

There are certain changes to your everyday routines that you can make that will not only help your partner cope more easily with the pregnancy and the birth but will also benefit the baby. You may have already made a start in this direction but, if not, it really isnt too late.

These changes apply equally if you are still trying to conceive and, of course, will be of continued benefit once your partner does become pregnant.

Just as it is not too late to implement such changes, it is never too early to start preparing your home to accommodate a little person. This chapter will guide you through some of these preparations with the aim of helping you have less to do as the pregnancy progresses and avoid a last minute panic.

Of course, its not all going to be so easy, and we will look at some of the obstacles you might face and how you can overcome them.

LIFESTYLE CHANGES

The lifestyle choices you make now wont just ensure a better start for your baby but they will also have long-term benefits for your and your partners own health. Below are the lifestyle choices which require extra consideration during your partners pregnancy.

SMOKING

Your partner has probably done so already, but have you stopped smoking? Or have you assured yourself that you wont smoke around your partner or the baby? Even second-hand smoke can reduce a babys birthweight and it has been proven that it carries an increased risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), whilst more than 17,000 children under five are admitted to hospital every year due to the effects of second-hand smoke.

ALCOHOL

Your partner is likely to have already stopped drinking by now after all, what she drinks will make its way into your babys bloodstream. According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) guidelines, drinking any amount of alcohol while pregnant increases the risk of miscarriage, stillbirth and your baby being more prone to illness not just in childhood but throughout her life. If your partner is partial to a drink, seek out alternatives such as alcohol-free lager, ginger beer or an elderflower soda. Be considerate stop drinking alcohol at home, curb your own social drinking (limit after-work drinks to once a fortnight) and find alternative ways of socialising with friends such as cinema trips. Your partner will really appreciate it.

CAFFEINE

Perhaps the one on the list that is easiest for us to forget, especially when doing the tea round! A moderate caffeine intake doesnt have any negative effects on your baby it wont increase the chance of a miscarriage or cause any birth defects but it will make it harder for your partner to absorb iron and calcium, both of which are good for the baby.

EXERCISE

If your partner is yet to become pregnant, there are ways she can exercise to best prepare for the physical onslaught of carrying and delivering a baby and you can support her by doing these exercises with her. Although, as always, she should run them past her doctor first, just in case there is a history of any problems that could be aggravated by doing these sorts of exercises.

Its the stomach that takes the most pounding during pregnancy so working on strengthening her deep abdominal muscles and the muscles in her lower back together will reduce back problems as the pregnancy progresses and perhaps even help her cope better with the labour itself. It will also make it easier to get her body back in shape once the baby arrives.

Think of your body as a core and these deeper muscles wrapping themselves around the spine, giving it support and strength like a corset. Its worth spending time to look up and master the exercises that will benefit these areas, or even consider enrolling in a yoga or Pilates class.

Toning the pelvic muscles will also help theyre the muscles we use to stop ourselves urinating, and by doing daily Kegel exercises, where you tighten these muscles and hold the contraction for three seconds, then release for three seconds, and repeat a few times, your partner is less likely to experience incontinence problems after she delivers.

Once your partner is pregnant, however, it is not advisable to start doing any strenuous exercise that she isnt used to doing. If, for instance, she wants to start an aerobics programme, make sure she starts slowly and informs her instructor that she is pregnant.