Alan D Wolfelt - Healing a Childs Heart After Divorce: 100 Practical Ideas for Families, Friends and Caregivers

(Please share this with a grieving child you care about.)

1. I have the right to have my own unique feelings about the divorce. I might feel mad, sad, or lonely. I might feel scared or relieved. I might feel numb or sometimes not anything at all. No one will feel exactly like I do.
2. I have the right to talk about my grief whenever I feel like talking. When I need to talk, I will find someone who will listen to me and love me. When I dont want to talk, thats OK, too.
3. I have the right to show my feelings about the divorce in my own way . When they are hurting, some kids like to play so theyll feel better for a while. I can play or laugh, too. I might also get mad and misbehave. This does not mean I am bad, it just means I have scary feelings that I need help with.
4. I have the right to need other people to help me with my grief, especially grownups who care about me. Mostly I need them to pay attention to what I am feeling and saying and to love me no matter what.
5. I have the right to get upset about normal, everyday problems. I might feel grumpy and have trouble getting along with others sometimes.
6. I have the right to have griefbursts. Griefbursts are sudden, unexpected feelings of sadness that just hit me sometimeseven long after the divorce. These feelings can be very strong and even scary. When this happens, I might feel afraid to be alone.
7. I have the right to use my beliefs about God to help me with my grief. Praying might make me feel better.
8. I have the right to try to figure out why my parents got divorced. But its OK if I dont find an answer. Why questions about life are the hardest questions in the world.
9. I have the right to think and talk about my memories of our family before the divorce. Sometimes those memories will be happy and sometimes they might be sad. Either way, memories help me understand my past so that I can live and love in the present and the future.
10. I have the right to move toward and feel my grief and, over time, to heal. Ill go on to live a happy life, but the divorce will always be a part of me.

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Center for Loss and Life Transition
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Transcending Divorce

Ten Essential Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing Your Heart

After years of being encouraged to contribute a book on divorce loss, Dr. Wolfelt has responded with this compassionate new guide. When it comes to grief and loss, divorce is one of the most heartbreaking for many people.

With empathy and wisdom, Dr. Wolfelt walks the reader through ten essential Touchstones for hope and healing. Readers are encouraged to give attention to the need to mourn their lost relationship before moving on to a new relationship.

If youre hurting after a divorce, this book is for you. Warm, direct and easy to understand, this is a book you will not want to put down.

ISBN 978-1-879651-50-0 195 pages softcover $14.95

All Dr. Wolfelts publications can be ordered by mail from:
Companion Press