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Bonnell - The co-parenting handbook: raising well-adjusted and resilient kids from little ones to young adults through divorce or separation

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A practical manual for parents transitioning from being a married couple with children to being solely co-parents together. This guide helps them navigate difficult emotional terrain, create boundaries, and establish guidelines so that together they can be the parents their children deserve. The Co-Parenting Handbook helps parents confidently take on the challenges of raising children when they live in separate homes. Addressing parents questions about the emotional impact of separation, conflict, grief, and recovery, the author skillfully provides a roadmap for all members of the family to constructively navigate through separation/divorce and beyond. Through practical and reassuring guidance, parents discover how to move on from being angry and hurt partners to constructive, successful co-parents who are able to put their childrens needs first--;A practical manual for parents who are transitioning from being a couple with children to being co-parents. This guide helps those parents navigate difficult emotional terrain, create boundaries, and establish guidelines so that together they can be the parents their children deserve--;The journey through separation -- The journey from parenting together to co-parenting apart -- The journey through separation for kids -- Settling into a two-home family -- Communication protocols that work -- Decision making -- Managing finances -- Co-parenting at holidays and life-cycle events -- Co-parenting in public spaces -- New adults in your childrens lives -- The co-parenting relationship : skill, acceptance, and maturity -- Raising well-adjusted and resilient kids in a two-home family.

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Praise for The Co-Parenting Handbook from industry leaders The Co-Parenting - photo 1
Praise for The Co-Parenting Handbook from industry leaders:

The Co-Parenting Handbook contains the most powerful and important advice for any parent going through a divorce. If you are considering or starting down the divorce path, whether you are male or female, straight or gay, whether you have younger or older children, then this book is for you. It provides a road map to healing and carefully crafted directions about how you can protect your children throughout. It will teach you step by step how to dismantle your spousal relationship and build a co-parenting relationship. It is rare that we find a users manual for major life transitions, but Bonnell and Little have created a master accomplishment in this easy-to-digest handbook with concrete examples that all readers can begin using the same day they pick up the book. It includes a healthy dose of hope and love at its core, making sure the reader understands that Bonnell and Little are with them throughout this transformation from spouse to co-parent.

I assist clients with some of the most difficult divorce cases. While I will counsel them through the legal portions of their divorce, I firmly believe that the best possible outcomes require the skills set forth in The Co-Parenting Handbook; I will wholeheartedly recommend it to each of my clients in lieu of any other book on these subjects. The skills it teaches will not only benefit their families from an emotional standpoint but also help to substantially improve a clients ability to prepare themselves for the legal system by following some of the sage and concrete advice provided.

JUSTIN M. SEDELL, principal attorney at Lasher Holzapfel Sperry & Ebberson, PLLC, in Seattle, Washington; adjunct professor at Seattle University School of Law and University of Washington School of Law

Karen Bonnell, with the assistance of Kristin Little, has done a phenomenal job in The Co-Parenting Handbook. It speaks to all parents facing the transition to co-parenting: those doing this difficult task well, those who are struggling, and all those in between. The book addresses complex issues in a straightforward, easy-to-understand language. Karen and Kris tackle high-conflict emotion while assisting with the practical guidelines. They provide a compass, navigation skills, and everyday heres-how tools to meet the day-to-day challenges of two-home family life. They address real family-life challenges, including new romantic partnerships, without casting blame. They provide clear examples from a variety of families navigating this new and challenging territorylearning to do whats best for kids and creating a better future for all. I will buy this book in bulk!

NANCY CAMERON, QC, attorney, mediator, author, founding member of the Collaborative Divorce Association of Vancouver (Canada), and past president of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals

Until now, parents did not receive an owners manual for how to raise kids after divorce. The Co-Parenting Handbook is that owners manuala clear and practical guide on how to create and maintain a successful co-parenting relationship. It is filled with wisdom about how to make the most of post-divorce co-parenting and covers both the common questionssuch as how to tell the kids about the divorce and how to sensibly introduce new romantic partnersand the equally important questions that are less commonly askedsuch as how to make residential schedules really work and how to effectively stay on track as co-parents after divorce. If you want your children to thrive after your divorce, you owe it to yourself to read this book.

J. MARK WEISS, JD, attorney, mediator, Collaborative Law trainer, former chair of the Washington State Bar Association Family Law Section, fellow and former president of the Washington chapter of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers

The co-parenting handbook raising well-adjusted and resilient kids from little ones to young adults through divorce or separation - photo 2Copyright 2014 2017 by Karen Bonnell All rights reserved No portion of this b - photo 3
Copyright 2014 2017 by Karen Bonnell All rights reserved No portion of this - photo 4Copyright 2014 2017 by Karen Bonnell All rights reserved No portion of this - photo 5

Copyright 2014, 2017 by Karen Bonnell

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced or utilized in any form, or by any electronic, mechanical, or other means, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Published by Sasquatch Books

Editor: Susan Roxborough

Production editor: Em Gale

Cover design: Bryce de Flamand

Cover and interior photograph: iStock.com/Luckyraccoon

Interior map: Kathryn Campbell

Interior design: Tony Ong

Copyeditor: Kirsten Colton

The Seven Cs of Resilience is used with permission of the American Academy of Pediatrics, Building Resilience in Children and Teens: Giving Kids Roots and Wings, 2nd ed., copyright 2010 American Academy of Pediatrics.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

ISBN9781632171467

Ebook ISBN9781632171474

Sasquatch Books

1904 Third Avenue, Suite 710

Seattle, WA 98101

(206) 467-4300

www.sasquatchbooks.com

v4.1

a

We dedicate this book to our children

Ali

For your amazing strength to stand your ground and for teaching me about the invincible mother-daughter bond

Ben

For your call to justice, your strength to walk along a change-filled path, and your courage to face life even when it is nothing that you expected

KB

Sebastian

For teaching me that life is bigger than I am, and showing me that its more fun than I ever imagined

KL

and to your children

CONTENTS

Preface: Why This Book?

The question for the child is not Do I want to be good? but Whom do I want to be like?

BRUNO BETTELHEIM,

internationally renowned child psychologist

IVE NEVER MET a parent who didnt want what was best for their children. As a professional working every day with parents and co-parents, and as a parent who navigated a difficult separation, divorce, and post-divorce process, Ive experienced first- and secondhand a body of knowledge, skills, protocols, and practices worth sharing.

Ive dedicated my work to digging deep and learning everything I could about adults in the transition from parent to co-parent: figuring out what works and what doesnt, and finding ways to help them heal. This book contains the teaching stories and principles I share every day with parents going through some of the scariest, most uncertain, and change-filled transitions of their lives.

Kristin Little draws on her own experience with separation, divorce, and co-parenting as she listens daily to children tell their stories of changing families. As a child specialist, Kris has the vital role of helping children understand their experience of change, normalizing some of their concerns about their parents separating, and bringing information back to parents about their childrens needs, feelings, and adjustment in the safety of the divorce coachs office.

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