Andy Stanley - Parental Guidance Required Study Guide: How to Enhance, Advance, and Influence Your Childrens Relationships

PARENTAL GUIDANCE REQUIRED STUDY GUIDE
published by Multnomah Books

2004 by North Point Ministries, Inc.

eISBN: 978-0-307-56390-3

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from:
The Holy Bible, New International Version 1973, 1984 by International Bible Society, used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House Multnomah is a trademark of Multnomah Publishers, Inc., and is registered in the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.

Published in the United States by WaterBrook Multnomah, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House Inc., New York.

M ULTNOMAH and its mountain colophon are registered trademarks of Random House Inc.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

No part of this publication maybe reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, orotherwisewithout prior written permission.

For information:
MULTNOMAH BOOKS
12265 Oracle Boulevard, Suite 200
Colorado Springs, CO 80921

v3.1

I want you to know up front that Ive resisted teaching on the subject of parenting for many years. As a parent of grade-schoolers, Im a little hesitant to speak with authority on an issue that Im right in the middle of living myselfnot to mention, a lot has been written and preached about parenting already.

But as a fellow parent, I can honestly say that Sandra and I cling to a handful of key principles every day in our parenting. And even though were still works in progress ourselves, I am completely confident that you can also benefit from these principles.

Long before starting North Point Community Church, I worked in student ministry for many years. During that time, I saw many different parenting case studies lived out right in front of me. Some were examples of great parenting, and some were tragic mistakes. Through those experiences, I began to recognize several key principles at work in the relationships between parents and their children. Sandra and I quickly identified the models we wanted to follow and those we wanted to avoid. At the root of it all were these basic concepts about parenting. And in these next few weeks together, Id like to share each one of them with you.

Of all the assignments God may give you throughout your time on this earth, none is more sacred than the task of raising your children. And while the culture around you may offer many suggestions about parenting, God has much to say about how to navigate the road ahead of you. I pray that God will give you clarity and insight as we study together so that you may be able to give your children the parental guidance that is required.

Andy Stanley

In our culture, parents can feel tremendous pressure to give their kids the right package of experiences to help them get ahead in life. We go to great lengths to give them the best education available. But it doesnt stop there. We arrange our schedules around a myriad of practices, performances, games, and gatheringsall in an effort to create the ultimate experience for our children.

As society advances, the list of new activities expands. Forty years ago, Little League baseball stood unchallenged as the sport of choice for young children. Todays parents must choose from soccer, karate, hockey, gymnastics, swimming, lacrosse, and other programs that offer advanced leagues with the dream of Olympic gold and a jump-start on life. Over the years, these programs have grown in their sophistication and appeal.

To a large extent, weve come to believe that the key to success is finding our childs niche in the right combination of sports and/or art programs. There is a tendency to think that forgoing an activity might mean depriving your child of the opportunity of a lifetime.

While childhood experiences are important, something else is even more important. As well discover in this session and in the weeks to come, an experience-rich childhood is no guarantee of a rich childhood.

[EXERCISE] Is Experience Truly the Best Teacher?

1. In column A below, list the various activities that you participated in as a child. In column B, list the key people who have impacted your life. Evaluate the importance of activities versus relationships in preparing you for adulthood. Share your thoughts with the group. Which column has had the greatest impact on you in your adulthood?

From the video message, fill in the blanks.

. The activities that use up our time and resources in childhood have very little to do with what happens to us in ___________.

. The trend in our culture is to make our children experience-_____ and relationship-_____.

Take a few moments to discuss your answers to these questions with the group.

. Why are parents today so prone to making their families experientially rich and relationally poor?

. As you look back, how would you describe your childhood? Experientially or relationally rich or poor? Why?

. Where do you go for parenting advice?

. As you and your spouse look at your parenting styles, who is more experiential and who is more relational?

. If your childrens experiences outweigh your time with them, what changes need to be made to reverse this trend?

[MILEPOSTS] Key Points

The pressure to participate in activities should not be allowed to govern your parenting to the point that it detracts from your ability to develop a strong relationship with your child.

Children can grow up experience-poor and still thrive as adults, but children who grow up relationship-poor do not possess the emotional freedom to explore their lifes full potential.

[WHAT WILL YOU DO?] Assignment for the Week

. This week, observe your familys schedule. Approximately how many hours are dedicated to focused training in education, athletics, art, and other extracurricular activities?

. Approximately how many hours are dedicated to focused relationship buildingtalking, playing games together, family activities, or just listening to each other?

Read Luke 10:3842. How does Marthas dilemma compare to your situation as a parent? What activities provide the greatest competition for the important relationships in your life?

[CHANGING YOUR MIND] Scripture Memory

The more familiar you are with Gods ways, the easier it will be to parent as He intended. There are verses at the end of each session that we hope you will take time to commit to memory.