John Trent - The Relationally Intelligent Child: Five Keys to Helping Your Kids Connect Well with Others

2021 by

JOHN TRENT AND DEWEY WILSON

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations taken from the (NASB) New American Standard Bible, Copyright 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995, 2020 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. All rights reserved. www.lockman.org

Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Some names and details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

Edited by Cheryl Molin

Interior design: Ragont Design

Cover design: Erik M. Peterson

Cover illustration of hands copyright 2013 by Vectorig / iStock (183934064). All rights reserved.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Trent, John, 1952-author. | Wilson, Dewey, author.

Title: The relationally intelligent child : five keys to helping your kids connect well with others / John Trent and Dewey Wilson.

Description: Chicago : Northfield Publishing, [2020] | Includes bibliographical references. | Summary: The Relationally-Intelligent Child teaches parents the crucial insights of a must grasp concept: relational intelligence. This tool for growth and connection will not only change a childs life, but also a parents own relationships. Youll discover five key elements that can engage and equip your child with skills for being relationally intelligent with family, friends, and others-- Provided by publisher.

Identifiers: LCCN 2020035375 (print) | LCCN 2020035376 (ebook) | ISBN 9780802416384 (paperback) | ISBN 9780802496249 (ebook)

Subjects: LCSH: Interpersonal relations in children. | Interpersonal communication in children. | Parent and child. | Parenting. | Parenting--Religious aspects--Christianity.

Classification: LCC BF723.I646 T74 2020 (print) | LCC BF723.I646 (ebook) | DDC 649/.1--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020035375

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020035376

We hope you enjoy this book from Northfield Publishing. Our goal is to provide high-quality, thought-provoking books and products that connect truth to your real needs and challenges. For more information on other books and products that will help you with all your important relationships, go to northfieldpublishing.com or write to:

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DEDICATION FROM JOHN TRENT

To Cindy, who did so much to build love, responsibility, and relational intelligence into Karis and Lauras livesand now into granddaughter Zoas life. And to our two awesome sons-in-lawJoey Stageberg and Chris Morrisfor their modeling both relational intelligence and how to love their wives and family like Jesus.

DEDICATION FROM DEWEY WILSON

To my wife, Lynne, whose unwavering tenacity to raise godly children has taught me much of what I know about raising relationally intelligent children. To our children, Tiffani and Erin. For trusting Mom and Dad during those many years of swimming against the currents of mainstream culture. No greater joy do we have as parents than to witness your love for Christ be lived out in your marriages with our wonderful sons-in-law, Brian and Adam, and through our grandchildren.

A s cultures across the globe continue to migrate further and further away from face-to-face friendships, love, and connection, we believe you can give your child an incredible gift. Current research shows no one else on the planet is better equipped to give this gift to your child than you. This gift can teach and coach your children to live out the skills needed to have positive, healthy, others-centered, world-changing, face-to-face relationships with others.

Its not a life free from challenges, stress, or trials. But it provides your children with the strength and wisdom to get up on their own after falling down and gives them a foundation for love, connection, resilience, and care. In addition, your home can be a place that is a light to your childrens friends, who long to know what healthy relationships look like. Even after your children are grown and no longer living under your roof, theyll look for ways to stay attached and spend time with you. Simply stated:

We believe you can teach your children to become relationally intelligent in a way that changes not only their lifebut others lives as well!

Its long been thought that you cant define love with any type of certainty. For example, a 2016 article listed 36 Definitions of Love found in the Urban Dictionary, from its being an emotion, to a decision, to simply being undefinable! But an avalanche of new clinical studies and even timeless biblical truths say otherwise. We believe its possible for you to show your children how deeply they are loved through your everyday actions. And, as they see you demonstrate this amazing love relationally, youre giving them a model of how to highly value themselves and love others compassionately.

You might be wondering why we seem to be so confident. Like the noted futurists John Naisbitt and Patricia Aburdene wrote, we also believe, The most exciting breakthroughs of the 21st century will not occur because of technology, but because of an expanding concept of what it means to be human.

And wave after wave of studies today are showing just how to be fully, wonderfully, healthily human is to be relational ! It is how we are created.

Well introduce a more expanded definition of what we mean by being relational and relationally intelligent in the next chapter. But for now, we want you to know its about being able to identify and value your own strengths and helping your children understand their strengths as well. Its about understanding ways to genuinely value and connect with others. Its being able to model and coach your children how to take positive risks that go with exploring their world, while also exploring what others could be thinking and feeling. Then, its working together with your children, helping them to become more creative and resilient. Its also helping them to be linked to something greater than themselves, motivating and empowering them to go change their world for the better.

Basically, there really are applicational, relational blocks we can lay down in our childs life that are essential for building a genuine love.

In fact, this book centers around five specific elements. Each of these five are core elements in unleashing what we call relational intelligence. Like cracking open an atom, they generate powerful positive relational changes and benefits for your child. Well share why these five elements make such a positive difference and surround them with hands-on examples. After youve seen them up close, well help you create a starting point plan for bringing these skills and traits into your home.