Marci Lebowitz - The Conscious Parents Guide to Autism: A Mindful Approach for Helping Your Child Focus and Succeed

Avon, Massachusetts

Dedication

This book is dedicated to all the children with autism who have given my life deep purpose and rich meaning.

Copyright 2016 by F+W Media, Inc.

All rights reserved.

This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher; exceptions are made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.

Published by

Adams Media, a division of F+W Media, Inc.

57 Littlefield Street, Avon, MA 02322. U.S.A.

www.adamsmedia.com

Contains material adapted from The Everything Parents Guide to Children with Autism, 2nd Edition by Adelle Jameson Tilton, copyright 2010, 2004 by F+W Media, Inc., ISBN 10: 1-4405-0392-3, ISBN 13: 978-1-4405-0392-4 and The Everything Parents Guide to Raising Mindful Children by Jeremy Wardle and Maureen Weinhardt, copyright 2013 by F+W Media, Inc., ISBN 10: 1-4405-6130-3, ISBN 13: 978-1-4405-6130-6.

ISBN 10: 1-4405-9417-1

ISBN 13: 978-1-4405-9417-5

eISBN 10: 1-4405-9418-X

eISBN 13: 978-1-4405-9418-2

This book is intended as general information only, and should not be used to diagnose or treat any health condition. In light of the complex, individual, and specific nature of health problems, this book is not intended to replace professional medical advice. The ideas, procedures, and suggestions in this book are intended to supplement, not replace, the advice of a trained medical professional. Consult your physician before adopting any of the suggestions in this book, as well as about any condition that may require diagnosis or medical attention. The author and publisher disclaim any liability arising directly or indirectly from the use of this book.

Many of the designations used by manufacturers and sellers to distinguish their products are claimed as trademarks. Where those designations appear in this book and F+W Media, Inc. was aware of a trademark claim, the designations have been printed with initial capital letters.

Cover design by Frank Rivera.

Thank you to: Cliff Burnett, autism miracle worker who has taught me so much about how to truly care for and reach people with autism. Kevin Bailey, business partner extraordinaire, who makes work great fun and always has the most brilliant direction on how to truly reach parents and professionals. Paul Washington, who always believes in me.

If you are the parent of a child on the autism spectrum, you may sometimes feel discouraged. You arent alone. This book will provide you with many practical solutions to seemingly insurmountable challenges, plus advice on how to handle family and community difficulties and how to deal with your own thoughts and feelings so that you can enjoy life.

The diagnosis of autism, though it may not feel this way at times, can open up a whole new world for you and your family. Many brilliant people have been diagnosed with autism and have done amazing things. There are many children with autism who are able to go to college and become successful leaders in their field. To help you deal with your frustrations, it is important to remember to find a balance of both accepting your child and learning how to teach him to grow beyond the limitations of his condition.

As a parent, you are an important part of the team that will help your child thrive. It is particularly important to find autism experts who can accurately guide you through the diagnostic process and the labyrinth of treatments. Networking with other parents may help you find the right professionals to be part of your team of experts. It may take time and effort to find the right professionals to care for your child, but it is worth the legwork so that you feel supported and validated, and confident that your child is receiving the correct treatment to meet your familys needs.

If your first visit to a physician or any professional leaves you feeling uncomfortable or inadequate, please keep looking. Individuals who have compassion and wisdom, are supportive, and understand the needs of your child and family can help make your journey a bit easier. When it comes to your child, you are truly the expert. An effective professional learns things from you, as you learn from her.

There is much involved in raising children who are not on the autism spectrum, and the needs amplify when there is a child with special needs. May this book support you so that you can learn how to pay attention to your child and at the same time care for yourself, your partner, and your other children. The tips and solutions in this book can help keep your life in balance. Along with learning how to effectively handle the challenges involved with autism, may you also discover how your child can profoundly touch your heart and impact your life in many amazing and unexpected ways.

An Important Note

After a great deal of consideration, throughout this book the author has chosen to use the terms child with autism and person with autism to describe those on the autism spectrum. However, the author and publisher acknowledge the ongoing debate as to how to refer to people on the spectrum: He or she is autistic or He or she has autism. Parents, professionals, and people with autism may have different preferences regarding these important semantic disagreements. Ultimately, the author and publisher wish to respect the individual wishes of those on the spectrum, and urge readers first to get to know an individual and his or her preferences before choosing terms.

Being a conscious parent is all about building strong, sustainable bonds with your children through mindful living and awareness. Traditional power-based parenting techniques that promote compliance and obedience can disconnect you from your children. Conscious parenting, on the other hand, helps you develop a positive emotional connection with your child. You acknowledge your childs unique self and attempt to empathize with her way of viewing the world. Through empathetic understanding and tolerance you create a safe environment where your child feels that her ideas and concerns are truly being heard. When you find yourself in a stressful situation with your child, rather than reacting with anger or sarcasm, conscious parenting reminds you to take a step back, reflect, and look for a peaceful solutionone that honors your childs individuality and motivations. This approach benefits all children, especially children with autism, as they experience the world differently, and often are overwhelmed by sensory issues. Adopting the conscious parenting philosophy can relieve your stress and improve your childs self-image. The strong bond built between you and your child, along with your own calm, respectful attitude, can help her to develop positive behavior patterns.

Conscious parenting isnt a set of rules or regulations that you must follow, but rather a system of beliefs. Conscious parents engage and connect with their children using mindful and positive discipline rather than punishment. They try to be present when theyre spending time with their children, avoiding distractions such as TV and social media. Conscious parents respect their children and accept them as they are. The most important part of conscious parenting is building an emotional connection with your child so you can understand the underlying reasons for her behavior.