Laurie Hollman - Unlocking Parental Intelligence: Finding Meaning in Your Childs Behavior

Praise for Unlocking Parental Intelligence

Dr. Laurie Hollmans book, Unlocking Parental Intelligence , has accomplished a notable feat in describing sophisticated theories of child development and behavior and offering a window into the inner workings of the minds of parents and children while managing to make these ideas clear and easily accessible to parents. The book is clearly and beautifully written and Dr. Hollman conveys throughout a non-judgmental, non-critical stance where the reader feels her genuine empathy for the parent and child and their struggles. Her empathy transforms the parents into becoming more empathic with their children.

What distinguishes her guide from other parenting books is her emphasis on the important need to understand the meaning behind the misbehavior of the child or adolescent, rather than assuming to know what the misbehavior means and reacting in the moment. She offers stories about eight children and their parents and takes you along on each of the journeys, while describing the parents gradual awakening that leads to insight about their child and also to greater self-knowledge. Of special note is Dr. Hollmans ability to enable parents to look deeply into their own minds and to understand how their past generational histories are carried over into their feelings and dealings with their own children. This is a very admirable parenting book.

I strongly recommend this book to mental health professionals and educators working with children and adolescents, who could also use it as a text book for child therapists.

PHYLLIS BEREN, PhD, Co-Director, Institute for Psychoanalytic Training and Research Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy Program, NY, NY; Training and Supervising Analyst at the Institute for Psychoanalytic Training and Research and the Contemporary Freudian Society

An unwavering parent-child connection is the most protective force in our kids lives. It is critical to whether they will be resilient today and poised to thrive tomorrow. Reacting impulsively to our childrens actions can interfere with our ability to make wise decisions, and even damage the stability of our connections. Dr. Hollmans practical model offers us a framework to easily access the innate Parental Intelligence that allows us to feel fully and think and respond effectively. Her detailed examples masterfully make these strategies our own as we learn to better understand our children. This book will undoubtedly foster the kind of connections that will position us to better prepare our children to navigate their lives safely and successfully.

KENNETH R. GINSBURG, MD, MS Ed., Professor of Pediatrics, Division of Adolescent Medicine, The Childrens Hospital of Philadelphia and the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine; Author, Building Resilience in Children and Teens and Raising Kids to Thrive

With candor and compassion, Laurie Hollman, PhD, teaches parents about Parental Intelligence. In her groundbreaking book, she draws on contemporary child development theory offering parents an easy-to-follow, five-step program for conflict resolution. Parents will learn how to understand the underlying determinants to their childs behavior, how to read non-verbal as well as verbal communication, and how to create an open dialogue. As an experienced child and family therapist, Dr. Hollman is in a unique position to talk to parents. She provides fictionalized accounts of real problems. Dr. Hollman teaches parents how to understand their own expectations, listen to their childs communication, and take into account the meaning behind the childs behavior and how it relates to their developmental level. Along the way, parents will build a stronger, healthier bond with their child. Just as Dr. Hollman teaches parents to interact more effectively and empathically with their children, she writes with empathy and understanding as she teaches parents this proven and user-friendly method of parenting. Dr. Hollmans book is an essential guide for every parent.

RENA GREENBLATT, PhD, Psychoanalyst; Child and Adolescent Clinical Psychologist; Learning Disabilities and ADHD Specialist; Faculty, New York University

Dr. Laurie Hollmans informative and highly engaging new book, taps into resources parents possess and provides a useful approach to creating the kind of parent-child relationship that promotes child development and parenting satisfaction. Dr. Hollman illustrates through vivid examples, with which all parents will be able to identify, how emotional triggers can sabotage empathy and she demonstrates how her Five Steps to unlocking Parental Intelligence lead to problem solving. It is essential reading for all parents and professionals who seek a greater understanding of childrens behavior and their own reactions to it.

ILENE SACKLER LEFCOURT, Director, Sackler Lefcourt Center for Child Development, NY, NY; Faculty, Columbia University Center for Psychoanalytic Training and Research Parent-Infant Program

Children, no matter how old they are, often express with their troubled behaviors a wish to communicate. The challenge is to decipher their message. Laurie Hollman, PhD, shows us with talent, how one may think about a family history in a transgenerational mode and resituate the childs departure from their usual ways in this context. Guided this way, parents can adjust their focus to the needs of their children and find their way out of devastating impasses. By using a precise description of blocked family situations, she shows us how to take consideration of unconscious transmission in parental situations and slowly unknot conflicts. With this book, Dr. Hollman provides a precious accompaniment for families.

MYRIAM SZEJER, MD, Child psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, Montrouge, France; Faculty, of Medicine, University of Versailles-Saint Quentin en Yvelines; author, Talking to Babies: Healing with Words on a Maternity Ward

Dr. Laurie Hollmans book has been extremely clarifying and helpful to me, not only as a parent and step-parent, but also as a psychologist in my clinical work with families. Dr. Hollman possesses an exceptional gift in providing parents with the confidence to unlock the door to the tools they already possess to enhance their understanding and enjoyment of one of lifes greatest giftstheir childrenthereby enabling parents, through self-reflection, empathy, and wisdom, to cultivate their childrens optimal development within a loving and secure family framework. This book is also very helpful to parents whose children have pervasive developmental disorders and other special needs.

Dr. Hollman also gives us promise for future generations of children raised with Parental Intelligence who grow up and want to be leaders. Learning the skills of Parental Intelligence is a source for instilling creative interpersonal, problem solving, and leadership abilities essential to fulfilling, productive lives in the next generation who will lead us in many local, national, and global arenas.

LYNN SESKIN, PsyD, School and Clinical Psychologist, Specialty in the Treatment of Children and Adolescents with Pervasive Developmental Disorders

It is my pleasure as Editor of Moms Magazine, a community of parenting experts and moms sharing real-life experiences of parenthood, to say that Laurie Hollman, PhD, is one of our go-to experts because she provides a clear approach to guide moms on their parenthood journey through her Parental Intelligence model.

We live in a fast-paced world and never before have we seen such a shift in the way we live our lives with social media, the 24-hour news cycle and emerging technologiesand this all applies to parenting, too. There is so much information out thereand so many opinions. We need an expert voice, like Dr. Laurie Hollmans, who can help break through the clutter and give us easy-to-follow advice that tells us what to think about as we parent. This is what our readers want, and it is presented in Unlocking Parental Intelligence: Finding Meaning in Your Childs Behavior.