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Dr. Shefali Tsabary - The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children

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The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children: summary, description and annotation

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Instead of being merely the receiver of the parents psychological and spiritual legacy, children function as ushers of the parents development. Parents unwittingly pass on an inheritance of psychological pain and emotional shallowness. To handle the behavior that results, traditional books on parenting abound with clever techniques for control and quick fixes for dysfunction. In Dr. Shefali Tsabarys conscious approach to parenting, however, children serve as mirrors of their parents forgotten self. Those willing to look in the mirror have an opportunity to establish a relationship with their own inner state of wholeness. Once they find their way back to their essence, parents enter into communion with their children, shifting away from the traditional parent-to-child know it all approach and more towards a mutual parent-with-child relationship. The pillars of the parental ego crumble as the parents awaken to the ability of their children to transport them into a state of presence.

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Copyright 2010 by Shefali Tsabary PhD First printing 2010 Second printing 2011 - photo 1

Copyright 2010 by Shefali Tsabary, PhD

First printing 2010

Second printing 2011

Third printing 2012

Fourth printing 2013

Fifth printing 2014

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced and transmitted in any form and by any means without the written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations used in book reviews and critical articles.

ABOUT THE EXAMPLES IN THIS BOOK

Although the examples in this book reflect real-life situations, they arent necessarily descriptions of actual people, but in some cases are composites created from my years of working with countless different parents in many varied contexts.

LIBRARY AND ARCHIVES CANADA CATALOGUING IN PUBLICATION

Tsabary, Shefali, 1972

The conscious parent : transforming ourselves, empowering our children / [Shefali Tsabary].

ISBN 978-1-897238-45-5

1. Parenting--Psychological aspects. 2. Child rearing--Psychological aspects. 3. Parent and

child--Psychological aspects. I. Title.

HQ755.8.T77 2010649.1C2010-904

Published in Canada by

NAMASTE PUBLISHING

P.O. Box 62084

Vancouver, British Columbia, V6J 4A3 www.namastepublishing.com

Cover design by Barbara Aronica-Buck

Cover photo by Elena Elisseeva

Typesetting by Steve Amarillo / Urban Design

eBook Design by Erik Christopher / Ugly Dog Digital, LLC

Acclaim for The Conscious Parent Shefali Tsabarys invaluable book shows how - photo 2
Acclaim for
The Conscious Parent

Shefali Tsabarys invaluable book shows how the challenges of parenting can become a great opportunity for spiritual awakening. Becoming a fully conscious parent is the greatest gift you can give your child.

Eckhart Tolle , author of The Power of NOW and A New Earth

The Conscious Parent is a wonderful contribution to a deeper inquiry into what it means to parent well. Bringing body, mind and spirit together in a new parental paradigm is essential, and The Conscious Parent helps us get there.

Marianne Williamson , author of A Return to Love and Age of Miracles

The Conscious Parent shows how children can lead us to the discovery of our own true being. A beautiful and practical guide for raising children to live an authentic, aware, and fulfilled life.

Marci Shimoff , NY Times bestselling author of Happy for No Reason and Chicken Soup for the Womans Soul

The Conscious Parent is a spiritual vision of how to care for a childs body and soul. This book is practical and full of love and hope for both parents and children.

Michael Gurian , New York Times bestselling author of The Wonder of Boys and The Wonder of Girls

Dr. Tsabarys gentle, thoughtful, and beautifully written book embraces the lovely idea of a mutually respectful and loving parentchild dyad. Readers are sure to profit enormously from its essential messagethat of the profound importance of treating ones children with great openness, respect, and empathy. As Dr. Tsabary writes and as Joni Mitchell once sang, there is so much said in listening. There are great lessons here for parents and parents-to-be.

Barry Farber, Ph.D . Professor of Psychology and Education, Director of Clinical Training, Teachers College, Columbia University

Move over Dr. Spock! This is the book every parent must have to raise well-adjusted, responsible children. The surprise may be that to accomplish that, the true work at hand will be your own. Face every truth in this wonderful book and enjoy your parenting ride.

Laura Berman Fortgang , author of The Little Book on Meaning and The Prosperity Plan

The Conscious Parent will introduce the reader to a set of principles that, if followedand, perhaps most importantly, used in the spirit it recommendswill help parents and children form relationships that focus on shared responsibility and deep communication.

Eva Leveton , Author of Adolescent Crisis

This isnt one of the hundreds of parenting books offering various behavioral strategies. If you are a parent or a counselor and have tried numerous quick-fix techniques, you will know that they dont work. The Conscious Parent offers a very lucid and clear explanation of why they dont work: they are informed by the same source from which the problems originateunconsciousness. As The Conscious Parent states, parenting consciously isnt for the fainthearted, as it requires a courageous excavation of the roots of our own emotional wounds in order to elevate our relationships with our children into the realm of sacred, where our children are our spiritual partners, even leaders, leading us to our own spiritual transformation. Only when we bravely open ourselves to the unknown in order to transform ourselves and evolve do we raise our children to be whole and healthy. Who can disagree with The Conscious Parents insistence that our children deserve parents who live with awareness and clarity? This is a parenting bible for all the Parents of Now who are dedicated to raising the Children of the Future.

Lana Rados , MA, RCC, Individual and Family Counselor www.lanarados.com

This is the parents owners manual we always wish had come with our kids.

Will Hale , Family Music Entertainer

One gift our children give us is that the directions for how to best raise them arrive with them. Dr. Shefali Tsabary, in The Conscious Parent, has created a guidebook to help us find and read these directions.

Roni Beth Tower , Ph.D. Clinical Psychologist

Few of us enter into the sacred journey of parenthood with the tools necessary for success. Instead, we rely on the misguided strategies our parents used to raise us, and we inevitably experience deep ambivalence toward our children. The Conscious Parent offers a detailed map to guide us through the complex emotional and spiritual terrain we will traverse on this voyageboth inner and outer. In my thirty-three years as a parent and professional marriage and child therapist, I have not found a more profound book on parenting.

Estelle Frankel , psychotherapist and author of Sacred Therapy: Jewish Spiritual Teachings on Emotional Healing & Inner Wholeness

What a simple and lovely premisehow liberating for parents to feel like they can really let go and let their children just be. Its funnyinitially Im reminded of how traditional Indian parents obsess over which hand their baby uses most predominantly. They will literally grab utensils out of a young childs left hand and place it in the right hand because they equate left-handedness with being odd and straying from the norm. Clearly, they need to read this book!

Adrienne Longworth , Third grade teacher in the Indo-Canadian school system

Dedication

To my husband Oz. My wizard.

Acknowledgments

Constance Kellough for having a vision for this book and birthing it with such love, unwavering conviction, and unconditional support. My deepest appreciation.

David Robert Ord for your genius. You are an editor like no other. There are no words to express my gratitude.

The many clients I have worked with through the years for allowing me to enter your lives.

My friends and family for always being there. You know who you are and what you mean to me: the world.

My husband Oz and my daughter Maia words will never capture the feeling. Nothing I do or am exists separate from your presence.

Thank You.

PREFACE In this book Dr Shefali Tsabary describes the importance of compassion - photo 3

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