Rachael Rose Steil - Running in Silence: My Drive for Perfection and the Eating Disorder That Fed It

Praise for

Running in Silence

Running in Silence is not just about eating disorders and recoveryits a book that incorporates questions to help others begin dealing with their behaviors. Steil reveals the courage it takes to go to a place of pain and find the strength to heal. She breaks free on her own terms and shows the reader how to do the same. There is hope and compassion from a writer who cares about the reader.

We need more stories like this with guidance. Its a helpful book for anyone, especially to educate parents, coaches, and athletes. Running in Silence will encourage anyone to get that push they are looking for to not merely exist, but to live.

Suzy Favor Hamilton, former Olympic middle distance runner and New York Times bestselling author of
Fast Girl: A Life Spent Running from Madness

Rachael Steil is a talented writer dedicated to sharing her journey, her struggle, and her most vulnerable moments to help others. Her courage shines through on the pages of Running in Silence. Rachael has an important story to tell and she not only shares it, she offers up actionable tools for those who struggle with disordered eating to begin unraveling their own stories and find their own courage.

Jennifer DiGennaro, certified Intuitive
Eating Counselor and founder of Nourished Energy

Rachaels voice is no longer silent, but is now a guide to those looking to better their lives. Her honest and compelling memoir courageously sheds light on her fight with eating disorders and brings hope that recovery is possible. This story gives everyone a voice.

Brittany Burgunder, author of Safety in Numbers

Not all of us can identify with eating disorders, but Running in Silence gives a star athletes perspective of what its like. The decline and then the journey back is a compelling story that gives us hope that any of us can recover from our challenges.

Don Kern, adventure runner and the director of the Metro Health Grand Rapids Marathon

Rachael Steil has written a powerful book which began as a series of blog posts in the midst of her struggle with an eating disorder as a collegiate runner. Intended as a self-help guide, this book will also be useful to the coaching and sports medicine community which surrounds athletes, helping alert them to the important message that eating disorders are not just about weight. As Rachael tries one restrictive food plan after another, only to fail and blame herself for not being strong enough, she invites us into the mind of a highly competitive athlete, with a drive for perfection and a mind over matter mindset which places her, and many others like her, at particular risk for disordered eating behaviors. Running in Silence also demonstrates how eating disorders flourish in an environment of secrecy and shame, for it is only by beginning to admit her struggles and talk honestly with others that she is ultimately able to heal.

Gail Hall, LMSW, CEDS, Director of Comprehensive Treatment for Eating Disorders, and co-founder of the Michigan Eating Disorders Alliance

Running in Silence is a poignant account of the authors struggles with disordered eating. In her memoir, she meticulously describes the development of her disease, moving from a coincidence between weight loss and faster times in competitive racing, to an exploration of raw food diets, an increasingly relentless hunger, and an epiphany about the relationship between food/weight and the self. Running in Silence is unique in its inclusion of questions at chapter ends about different aspects of the authors journey and her reflections about the variety of behaviors that can be associated with eating disorders. These questions, and the detailed description of the authors life, make the book an important contribution to the literature on this topic.

Susan Haworth-Hoeppner, Professor of Sociology at Aquinas College and author of Family, Culture, and Self in the Development of Eating Disorders

Running in Silence is a powerful yet haunting memoir that gives anyone reading an idea of what its like to struggle with both an eating disorder and with the ultimately unattainable goal of perfection. With her poetic style, Rachael takes readers on a journey through various diets and lifestyle changes that eventually caused great unrest and put her health at risk.

Rachaels book is a pleasure to read, despite the difficult and sometimes uncomfortable topics she addresses. Running in Silence is unique and is truly a self-help book in that Rachael not only raises awareness about eating disorders, but she also invites readers to think about the ways in which everyone looks at food. Steil provides thought-provoking questions and exercises at the end of each chapter for those who want to explore their own relationship with food and body image, something that sets this well-written book apart from any others in the genre. Many books on the market that pertain to eating disorders are written like journal entries, but Running in Silence takes a much broader look at eating disorders and provides much-needed insight into the ways in which someone in the throes of the illness can recover.

By examining and then challenging her own beliefs around food and body image, Rachael was able to come to a better place in her life. She is a shining example of what life can be in recovery. If ever there was someone who walked her walk, its Rachael. This is someone who not only courageously overcame her own battle with a potentially life-threatening illness, she then turned around and asked, How can I help others? Her desire to reach those who might be suffering by writing about her own life is only part of what makes Rachael a true heroine.

Running in Silence is a must-read for anyone who wants to better understand the causes and potential cures of eating disorders.

Lize Brittin, former world-class mountain runner and author of Training on Empty

Running in Silence:

My Drive for Perfection and
the Eating Disorder That Fed It

by Rose Steil

Copyright 2016 Rachael Rose Steil

ISBN 978-1-63393-340-8

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior written permission of the author.

Cover photo by Bri Goodyear Luginbill

Published by

210 60th Street

Virginia Beach, VA 23451

800-435-4811

www.koehlerbooks.com

This story is not just my own.

It is one story that reveals many unheard stories.

This is dedicated to those who are running in silence, who
feel that their situation is not bad enough to get help.

You are worthy and important enough to be heard.

Authors Note

This book is intended as self-help, but because it also shares my own story in detail, weights, numbers, and eating disorder behaviors are revealed throughout. This may be triggering to some. My intention is to show the change in my body weight in conjunction with my mindset and restriction and bingeing, and how some of these relatively average weights can hide an eating disorder based on the misconception that low weight indicates a high level of severity of the illness. Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.