Joanna Poppink - Healing Your Hungry Heart: Recovering from Your Eating Disorder

Joanna Poppink's Healing Your Hungry Heart answers two questions I frequently hear from troubled eaters: How do I begin my recovery? and What can I do to sustain it? Her chapter on the warning signs of an eating disorder is especially helpful for those who aren't sure if their relationship with food is unhealthy or not. Other chapters gently guide the reader in an exploration of what is needed to recover from deregulated eatingmindfulness, self-reflection, honesty, bona fide emotional nourishment, and daily practices for skill acquisition and moving toward true fulfillment. I would certainly recommend this book to my clients and students.

Karen R. Koenig, LCSW, MEd, author of The Food and Feelings Workbook and Nice Girls Finish Fat

Finallya book that speaks beyond the stereotype of eating disorders as the little girl's disease, reaching out to women who have lived with these devastating disorders for years, and offering practical, sound, and insightful advice on how to begin, and sustain, real recovery.

Marya Hornbacher, author of Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia

For three decades as a therapist, and now as an author, Joanna Poppink has used her personal experience with bulimia, insights into healing, empathy, and knowledge to help women recover from eating disorders. In this book, she shares stories from many of her former patients and covers diverse topics ranging from mindful contemplations on eating to an intimate discussion of sexuality. Practical, personal, and powerful!

Leigh Cohn, coauthor of Bulimia: A Guide to Recovery, editor-inchief of Eating Disorders: The Journal of Treatment and Prevention

This book offers a variety of valuable tools and practical ways for those with eating disorders to nourish both their bodies and their spirits. It offers real solutions and hope for its readers.

Christine Hartline, MA, founder and director of Eating Disorder Referral and Information Center, EDReferral.com

If you struggle with food or body image, Joanna Poppink's Healing Your Hungry Heart is sure to help! Through her story and those of others, Joanna assures us that true recovery is both real and attainable. This is an important addition to the recovery bookshelf.

Jenni Schaefer, author of Goodbye Ed, Hello Me and Life Without Ed

Joanna Poppink writes not only of the heart, but from the heart. Through many examples, exercises, and distillations of her wellearned wisdom, she gives hope and help to women who are struggling with the pain and shame of eating disorders.

Joan A. Lang, MD, psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, professor emeritus and former chair of the Department of Psychiatry at Saint Louis University

At last it's here! A book that speaks to women of all ages who have lived with the devastating and deadly conditions called eating disorders. Healing Your Hungry Heart not only gives solid, practical advice to someone who wants be truly recovered but also gives advice that speaks to the heart and true identity of a real woman.

Jeanne Rust, PhD, CEO and founder of Mirasol Eating Disorder Treatment Center

Eating disorders are a hidden personal ravishment in our Western culture, and those seeking a cure will find the pathway outlined in Joanna's book. This is a strong companion on the road to recovery.

Jonathan Flier, MA, MFT, president of the California Association of Marriage and Family TherapistsLos Angeles chapter

First published in 2011 by Conari Press, an imprint of

Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC

665 Third Street, Suite 400

San Francisco, CA 94107

www.redwheelweiser.com

To protect the privacy of individuals, all names in eating disorder stories have been changed and identities have been disguised.

Copyright 2011 by Joanna Poppink

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC. Reviewers may quote brief passages.

ISBN: 978-1-57324-470-1

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available upon request.

Cover by Jim Warner

Cover photograph Raspberries Corbis/SuperStock

Interior by Frame25 Productions

Typeset in Garamond Premier

Printed in Canada

TCP

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

The paper used in this publication meets the minimum requirements of the American National Standard for Information SciencesPermanence of Paper for Printed Library Materials Z39.48-1992 (R1997).

T hank you to my editors, Amber Guetebier and Sandy Doell, for your support, life experience, caring, and expertise; Kevin Bellows, friend and editor; Jeanne Rust, for listening to my struggles and being a constant source of love and support.

Thank you Jennifer Armstrong, my technology guru, who freed me from communication complexities by simplifying my computer processing.

Thank you members of IWOSC (Independent Writers of Southern California), particularly Alice Romano and Melanie Chartoff and the UCLA Writers Program for sharing your expertise and encouragement.

Thank you to every patient I've ever worked with for your courage, wisdom, and trust as you shared your journey to recovery with me.

Thank you to my great friends and teachersespecially Lars and Ingeborg Lofgren and Hedda Bolgarfor your words of wisdom ringing and whispering in my mind. Your guidance in my own recovery path was always mixed with love.

Thank you to my daughter, Deborah, and my son-in-law, David, for your steadfast confidence that I would succeed. And thanks to my terrier, Winston, who is always ready to take a walk when I need a break from writing.

Most of all, I acknowledge and am grateful to my two granddaughters who, at the time of this writing, are three and five years old; Hannah Jane Rainbow and Delilah Noel Starfish. You continually gave me your uninhibited love, support, and inspirationplus encouraging art work. You inspired me and provided constant examples of the healthy, creative, and joyous feminine life spirit that needs to be fostered, cherished, and respected by us all.

Dedicated to the spirit of life,

joy, and wisdom in all women.

The perspective and suggestions shared in this book are not a substitute for medical advice. If you think you have an eating disorder, please contact your doctor or another qualified healthcare professional very soon to discuss the emotions and behaviors that trouble you.

CHAPTER 1

Self-observation is an instrument of self-change, a means of awakening.

George Gurdjieff

I started making myself throw up when I was thirteen years old and didn't stop for thirty years. I hope that the snapshots of my story and other women's stories in this book, coupled with my own healing and recovery work with women for over twenty-five years, can help you find your personal path to recovery. Within the pages of these shared experiences, please look for what touches your heart, your memories, and your fears. If one story or one exercise delivers sudden understanding or amazement (because you didn't know anyone else behaved like that), you have found your entry into your recovery path. I hope this book supports and sustains you on that path to freedom. It can be done. I was bulimic for over twenty-nine years. I've been in recovery for twenty-six years. I've seen and been part of the recovery of many women along the way.